| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm leaving the small town I grew up in a few months from now. I've done a lot of things I regret in this town, and they've been on my mind a lot lately. I want to move to the city with a clean slate. Any advice on how to psych myself into just leaving my past behind? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Philips  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 I don't believe in the 'clean slate' stuff. You can't erase your past just like that. Your past formes part of yourself, it is what defines you and your future.
A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 This is the best thing that I can suggest to you. I've had to do this myself, and trust me, if you put the right amount of thought and effort into it, it WILL work.
Pick your favourite spot in your town. Maybe it's a park, maybe it's a trail, maybe it's a playground, the parking lot of your school, wherever. Any place that is associated with some good memories for you. Bring a notebook and pen with you, sit in that spot, and allow your mind to travel back to all of the times of regret that you spoke of. Every instance that you can recall. Give yourself as much time as you need to dwell on what happened, what you did or said, what someone else did or said, whatever it was about that situation that didn't turn out the way you wanted.
Write down some of the things that you regret the most. Some of the moments that are the most poignant for you. When you're done, and you feel you've revisited everything or written down what you want to write down, look at your list or whatever you've written, and say out loud, "You are my past. You have had a part to play in who I am today and who I will become. But you will not define my future. As of this moment, I will be strong. I will be powerful. I will be in charge of my own destiny. You will NOT define me." Then rip the paper up and go home.
Obviously we want to be environmentally conscious, so if at all possible, find a garbage or recycling bin to throw your paper away in. :)
The key with this exercise is that you have now laid down all of those bad memories. Make sure you LEAVE THEM THERE. Do NOT pick them up and take them with you. Leave them right where you left them, and think of them only as things that brought you to this moment of your life. But you don't have to bring them everywhere with you anymore. You're starting fresh.
Your future is bright, love. :) I have every faith in you.
masq
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