A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hmm so this is the situation.I recently broke up with my bf...we'd been together for nearly 2 years..(22 months to be precise).I was the one who called it off...it was going no where, we were making each other miserable...So its been about three weeks since the break up...i can finally sleep at night. I no longer think about him a lot...nor do i wait for his calls or messages...Do i miss him?Yes.The thing is...there's this guy i know who's seems to like me a bit...i don't know how much...We were good friends in college..but he was dating a friend of mine, who turned him down. So he's currently single. I am wondering if i should start dating again. I mean, is it too soon? And its not like he asked me out...it was more like hanging out as friends. But this will be the first time i'll be hanging out 'alone' with him per se.To be frank. A few months down the line, if i had to go out on a date with any of my friends, it would be him. So i don't know what to do...should i go ahead...or give my self more time...HELP!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone :) Well i think i'll give myself some more time...i still am too 'mentally exhausted' to think about going through a full blown relationship as of now...
When i do...i would like it to be beautiful, like the start of any new relationship is...so i guess i'll just stay single for 2-3 months...you are right, i don't want any bitterness from my past affecting my future...nor do i want to be cynical or sarcastic with this guy...:)coz he's really nice.
Thanks, once again...:)
A
female
reader, hopeFUL_romantic_13  +, writes (26 June 2011):
Masq is right. No one here can tell you if it's time yet or not. Only you will really know. Honestly it seems a bit too soon, but it's your call. Stop and ask yourself what made you miserable, what are you really looking for in a guy, what are you going to avoid this time, etc. Break-ups suck, but we learn at least one new thing about ourselves and other people after every one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): I read somewhere, possibly on here, that for every year you're with someone, you should be single for 3 months! so going by that you should give yourself 5 or 6 months to be yourself and build relationships with your friends again, but above all just have some fun as a single person for the time being!
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male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 Honestly I think it is too soon, but it is a close call.
Some break-ups are extremely intense, but that doesn't seem to be the case with you.
How long it takes to be "ready" is completely different for every person. Because you broke it off, cheating was not a factor, and things had been tapering off for a while, things are in your favor for a quick recovery.
The only thing I would wonder about is how you will handle being alone with someone this soon. It is one thing to no longer have feelings for your ex, and to be okay being alone, but what about having someone interested in you and being back in the relationship routine?
It can be a challenge to not let the previous relationship bleed over into the new one. When you are ending a relationship it can feel somewhat exhausting, and it may take some time to regain that energy necessary to maintain a relationship. Only you can gauge that.
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female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 This is a tough question for me to answer. On the one hand, only you will know when you're ready to start dating again. Nobody can really give you a definitive answer or tell you that it's too soon.
On the other hand, it's incredibly unhealthy to jump from relationship to relationship, because regardless of who initiated the breakup, you need a good chunk of time to re-evaluate yourself and what you're looking for in a partner. I think it may be a good idea to take a couple of months to reflect on the things you liked and didn't like about your past relationship(s), what you want in a new partner, things that you won't compromise on and things that you'd be willing to negotiate, etc.
Just my two cents. Of course it's up to you. :)
masq
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female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (25 June 2011):
if i was in your position i would do what feels right for you. if you are over your ex go hang out with this other guy see what happens. good luck
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female
reader, Kiryuu +, writes (25 June 2011):
 Sorry about your break up and if you think you are ready to date again then go ahead. Some people will say it's too early but you can decide whether or not you want to date again. Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): Wow, I'm in the EXACT same situation. When I say exact, I mean exact. I was with my boyfriend for 22 months, we loved each other loads but it just weren't working out and we too, were making each other miserable near the end, so I decided to break it off. We have been split up for nearly 4 weeks now and I was asking myself the same question yesterday as there's a guy I used to be friends with who I think likes me, and I might like him too if I gave myself the chance. He asked me to come round to chill but I said no, because even though I felt fine about it, my friend told me it was too soon, so I listened to her. I don't think it is. I mean yeah, it would be if he dumped you and you were grieving over him, or you felt confused in anyway, but you're the one who broke it off, you're the one who was miserable, you now feel fine and there's someone you may like who could be a million times better than your ex, so why not? Go for it.
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