A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay. this might take a while. soooo.i been with this girl for a year. we have been on and off not down to me. the first time she dumped me she gave me no real answers as to why, it took a while to get back together and then we did and everything was perfect. she suddenly started acting funny around me, asking for some space, i had no idea what i had done, later on she dumped me for a second time. which hurt alot. i promised myself i would not get back with her, knowing she had done this twice to me, then i found something out. she was depressed and felt that she couldnt talk about it to me. she also had servral suicide attempts, which is very out of charachter. i wanted to be there for her but didnt no it was happening as we had nc. now im back in her life as friends but for the first time ever, she knows im not interested in her and now she wants to ring me and text me all the time, rather than the other way around. i still love her, just trying to prove to her and myself that i dont, just seems like a full circle turn around and seems like i have some control finally, because for a year i havent. i dont even no wat im asking, i guess im thinking does she actually love me, and only dump me because of what she was going through, do you think i should try to move on but always hold a place in case she wants to come back, or is this a definate no go back after it has happened twice. thankyou for listening to me moan
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female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Sadly, I have been that girl. Let me tell you my story, and hopefully you'll be able to find an answer.
I met my now ex-boyfriend a couple of years ago. We fell in love right away, and had this very intense relationship. But as it progressed, my feelings began to fade and to make a long story very short, I broke up with him. He was devastated, but I stuck to my guns and it was over. We then stopped talking for over a year. But after that, we kept bumping into each other, and after talking about it, decided to start it up again. We kept it going for 5 months (very intense months) and yet again, my feelings faded. About 2 weeks ago, I ended it again. For the last time.
Granted, I wasn't depressed or suicidal. To be frank, if I was, I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend because of feeling I couldn't tell him. During times of depression one tends to want their loved ones even closer. Now, in her mind, that could be her legitimate reason for breaking it off.
Truthfully, what you do is up to you. Speaking from her perspective, if she broke your heart once, it's entirely likely that she'll do it again, and come up with a different reason this time. Not intentionally, but it seems as though she can't make up her mind. I've been there. So in a case like that, it's best to just cut your losses and move on, as hard as that may be.
Hope this helped. I'll be praying for you.
masq
A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 What you're describing here sounds pretty typical. You're interested, she knows it and so there's no worries. She can dump you at will and knows you'll always be there. Sort of like feeding the neighborhood stray cat.
Now, she thinks you don't care and she's panicked believing she's lost her second string, back up guy.
The Bunny crystal ball predicts: the split second she knows you're back on her traut line, you're ready for easy dumping at her next whim or fit.
You can't help this girl. Depression leading to suicide attempts is a screaming red flag indicative of some seriously bad medicine, my friend, I think this girl needs a hospital stay in the head shrinker's ward. You may be doing her a serious favor by making a call to the guys in the nice white jackets to come help her. Or maybe she's just a histrionic drama queen looking for the proverbial attention. I don't know.
You need to save yourself from this vortex that will undoubtedly suck you down with it. Refrain from encouraging this situation. If you can get her some help, I believe that's doing all you can do. Good luck in this and keep us posted!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): I think she cares for you but she seems like a mess, I think you should just be her friend right now. She will respect you for that if nothing else and if she wants you back she will tell you.
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