A
female
age
36-40,
*oxy7727
writes:ive been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2 months and he told me on the 5th he wanted a brake. so after alot of talking we took a brake for about 5 hours then he asked me back. i said yes and asked y he wanted the brake and he said to see if he would miss me and if he did then it was ment to be. well last night he told me he thinks ill keep falling for him and his feelings will just stay the same and he doesnt want to hurt me and that he wasnt ready for a seriouse relationship. so i asked if he wanted to brake up he says no and tells me all theese good reasons as to why he wants to be with me. like he loves me he sees me in his future and i care about him alot. then i couldnt get over what he said last night about me falling to hard and him staying the same so i called him to talk about it and he ended up saying he wants a brake and hes not ready for a relationship. im getting whip lash from him and i dont kno what to do or how to handle it. we decided to still keep our relationship staus on fb and he says its just a brake same reason as the one last week. but i love him and i want to either b w him or start the getting over him process. but were on a brake so does this mean i shouldnt talk to him?? why does he keep wanting to take these brakes but when i mention braking up he doesnt want that cause he doesnt want to lose me forever? any advice on his behavior would be nice!
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female
reader, chinana  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Stop allowing other people to mess around with your feelings. You are probarbly assuming that he will magically change his mind and that he will start treating you differently. Next time he says all that junk about taking a break just firmly, tell him to call you when he is ready for a serious relationship and move on with your life. Its only been 2 months and he is acting like this, he will drag you along until he finds a girl he doesnt want to take a brake from. YOU DERSERVE BETTER.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): I wasn't going to lecture you but you need it! You are in your early 20's for crying out loud and its been just 2 months, what is there to get over? He is playing games with you and your feeding straight into it.
A break after only 2 months? You have to be kidding me, you sound 15. 2 years I could understand but 2 months? That's beyond a joke! What will he be like further down the line if he is doing this now? I gaurantee you he will make a habit of it.
I'm urging you to grab back some self respect and leave him. He is telling you he doesn't want a relationship, basically he wants you for sex. He wants you to commit to him but not him to you.
You need to realise that if you leave him now and forget his pety games, you will have forgotton about him in 2 weeks!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): He'll keep you around until something better comes along. By telling you he thinks you'll fall hard for him while his feelings will remain the same he is setting you up for that to happen.
And you took the bait when you called him up to talk about what he said. Your answer to that should have been 'If that's the case then there isn't any future for us so I'm going to move on. Take care.' And you should have done just that.
You're going to have to put a stop to this nonsense yourself. Don't leave it up to him. He's playing games and he isn't offering you anything. Time to get over him and be done with it.
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A
female
reader, blueangelx15 +, writes (11 July 2011):
Okay, I agree with the first answer- I do not believe in breaks. Honestly, because I had one boyfriend who "wanted a break" long enough to have sex with another girl, then ask me back out thinking I would never know. It's either- You wanna be with me, or you don't. Don't sit around waiting and make him think that your gonna be there every single time he wants a "break" to take him back. You need to make him wait it out, and then you'll see what he really wants. Next time he says he wants you back, you need to be straight with him and tell him you're tired of him messing with your head and that he needs to figure out exactly what he wants first. Make him wait this time, and if he wants to be with you, he'll be back and he'll make sure he never does this again. If he doesn't, then obviously it wasn't meant to be. 2 Months, is not very long to be taking 2 "breaks" already.
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 I've never really believed in the whole concept of "taking a break" in a relationship, to be honest. People come up with numerous reasons why this would be a good idea, but in my mind they're all crap. It seems to me like this guy is jerking you around and can't make up his mind what he wants. And why should you have to wait around for a guy who can't decide if he wants you or not? You deserve someone who will ALWAYS want to be with you, and who will work out the issues of your relationship WHILE STILL BEING IN that relationship.
You only deserve the best, my dear. :) And it doesn't seem like this guy is it.
masq
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