A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I get really jealous (but keep it mostly inside!), I'm just wondering how to get over being jealous of my fiances clients? He's a personal trainer and some of his female clients flirt with him and I get so filled with anger! He's friendly flirty back but only being polite - I even wish he wasn't as friendly back to them as he knows that they fancy him. Most of them know that I'm his fiance and it's even gone so far that one of them throws me dirty looks and ignores me when I'm there at the same time as her (not that often!). Why would he do that??I know I say I'm jealous but it's inside - I'm REALLY pleasant and nice to his clients.How to I just get over it though! I trust him and he wouldn't do anything, I just wish he wasnt so nice back to them!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2016): Ok so far the advice has been to just deal with it. I think however there probably is a method that a PT can engage with clients build relationships without having to flirt back or allow the flirting to go on. Maybe there are some professional articles onine you could print off. I don't like the fact you are getting dirty looks. Next time it happens straight after his session then confront him about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2016): Most personal-trainers are athletic and look good. It is part of the job and it draws clients. If he is particularly attractive, that will draw more female clients. Being polite to people who pay you for your services is a requirement.
If he's a built guy with a charming personality, women are going to flirt anyway. Honey, you just have to put up with it. My guy has huge biceps, a great bod, and tattoos. He's a hunk of a guy, but gay. He owns his own successful business; so he's a catch as far as guys go. More hot straight women hit on him than you can shake a stick at. It's only friendly flirting, and mainly because women of the 21st century are a lot more assertive than ever before. Flirtation is bound to happen, and both you and I have to deal with it. Being a trainer, he thrives on compliments; because the better he looks the more inspiration he gives his clients. Male or female.
He is who he was when you met him; and if you can't handle his profession, it's best you find a guy who does something else for a living. Jealousy twists and magnifies any polite move on his part into flirting. So, is he supposed to be rude to clients to make you feel secure?
Jealousy, insecurities, and trust issues are toxic to all relationships. So either get them under control, or they will manifest is stupid ugly behavior. You're a mature and dignified woman; don't let your schoolgirl alter-ego overrule your common-sense and ruin your relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2016): "I just wish he wasnt so nice back to them!!!"
If he wasn't so nice to them then they wouldn't be his clients. If your fiance doesn't appeal to their ego and vanity (which is the very essence of his profession) then they'll find somebody who will.
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (30 August 2016):
 You've said yourself that he is polite to them, which he has to be, because that's just good customer service! There's no way to stop them flirting. That's their deal, and if they know he's engaged, that's their damage as well. As long as he's coming home to you every night, who cares about the rest of them.
Your jealousy may be coming from some insecurity you have - totally normal. I think you should talk to him and let him know how this makes you feel. There's nothing he can do about their actions, but if he knows how you feel about it, he can be intentional about shutting it down and making his boundaries clear.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 August 2016):
 Okay you said it yourself you trust him and you know he will not do anything behind your back! You need to stop being jealous of them and remember that they are the ones that are jealous off you! Keep that in mind, if they are rude to you, smile harder, because at the end of the day they are being rude because they are jealous, kill it with kindness. Don't let them get to you. My guess is in his line off work he needs to be friendly and even flirt a little, as he is a personal trainer he needs to build relationships with his clientele. If you cannot get over these feelings, then tell him, and allow him to reassure you that you are worrying over nothing. It is you he is engaged to, you he loves, you need to remember that he chats to these women because it is his career, he needs to be friendly to keep his business.
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