A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A girl and myself started dating 4 years ago. We dated for 3 years and I decided to propose, I did and she accepted. She had became my the beat friend i had ever had and def wanted to spend my life with her. However 3 months after I proposed I found out she was sending messages to another guy flirting and talking about wanting to have sex with him. I confronted her and she replied with that I was too insecure and broke up with me. I was devastated, I remained calm and took it as I didn't care. I didn't talk to her for a few days and she called crying say "what if I made a mistake?" would you ever take me back. I folded and said I still loved her, then I started trying to win her back. This pushed her away and she started dating someone else. They dated awhile then one night she called crying bc they were fighting. I talked to her and didn't her from her again until they were fighting again. This happened 2 more times until he hit her. She came to me and I tried comforting her as much as I could. They broke up for good and she darted hanging out with me again. We became pretty close again, but she started talking to another guy. They stopped bc her most recent bf (who hit her) threatened the guy. She asked me to talk to the guy and i did and hes scared to date her bc of her ex. She then started trying to set me up with one of her friends. I still have feelings for her tho. then the other day she said that she doesn't ever want to date me again. However a few months back she told her best friend that "who knows we may end up together again". But tells me other wise. Idk what to do, I want to be with her. But I am afraid to make any moves. I guess it's pretty dumb of me to continue to try, but I think she's worth it. Is there any chance?
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best friend, broke up, flirt, her ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, my friends are pretty much saying the same thing. I have tried ignoring her calls and texts but I still get excited when I see she is messaging or calling me. I have been on many dates with many girls since her, however I don't seem to really like any of them. Also, my confidence has went down a good deal. I know im not a bad looking guy (not being cocky) so i know i can get another pretty girl like her, i just want the closeness we had at one time. Usually the happy memories just play over and over again in my head and I want things like get were. I have heard that you never truly get over someone like this, is that true?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): why do people say once a cheater always a cheater,it is utter rubbish,i cheated on my girlfriend now wife and we decided to give it another go and i am proud to say i have never repeated that stupid mistake again that was some 20yrs ago
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 CaringGuy hit the nail on the head. I agree 200%.
If you want to always be there for her, you have to be ok with the following things:
a) She will never fully commit to you. There will always be another guy knocking on her door, and she will always answer and invite him in, metaphorically.
b) She will inevitably end up hurt in some way by these men, and she will always run back to you and expect you to love and care for her. Until she feels better. Then she'll want you to buzz off.
c) You will spend your entire life pining after her and wanting something that, really, you can't have. She's made that clear by her unfaithfulness, and quite frankly, you don't deserve that garbage.
My advice would be, cut off your contact with her. Don't be her shoulder anymore. You wanted to be everything to her, and you would've been, but she took it into her head that she needed to sample other people. I'm not saying at all that she deserves the abuse, because no one does, but this heartbreak she's constantly feeling? She absolutely should have to live with that. She had someone wonderful and she kicked you to the curb. Let her get over it the best way she knows how.
I realize that's a tad harsh, but I have no tolerance and no patience for girls like her. Why are all the nice guys so caught up in bitchy girls? It's an age old question.
In a nutshell, move on. Find a girl who will treat you right and whom you can love, who won't be unfaithful to you. You deserve only the best.
masq
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A
male
reader, lovehatejones  +, writes (10 July 2010):
Frist of all don't forget wat she did 2 u. Talking 2 another guy about having sex. The intension is there so she will most likely do it. Save yourself the pain n find sombody else. Be there 4 her as a friend but nothing more.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 July 2010):
You've become the comfort blanket to this girl, or the lap dog. I don't mean to make you feel bad there, but that's what you are to her. Every time it goes wrong with a guy she likes, she knows that My Loyal will be there, so she comes running. Then she uses you because you treat her well, and when she feels better, she runs off with another guy. You say she's worth it. I say she's not worth anything. All she does is use you as she sees fit, and makes a mockery of the good treatment you give her. There are so many better, more receptive women out there who deserve your time. This is not a girl that does. She will never commit properly to you, but will just come running, use you, then go out with her bad boys again. Stop wasting your time and effort on someone who cares so little for you. She's not worth it in the slightest. She won't change, and you can't change her. Get away from her and find a woman who is worthy of your time and effort.
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