My ex calls me a man hater but he's the one who treated me badly
Q. My marriage ended 4 years ago after my ex husband said he wanted to move on with his life. He left me, 2 children and a dog. He called our marriage of 18 years “horrendous”, said he wished he’d never married me, etc and ripped me off in the ...
A. 14 April 2023: Your ex is an abusive, cheating idiot. YOU know this. HE knows this but doesn't want to own it or acknowledge it and even less to take responsibility for HIS own actions and choices.
How is that YOUR fault?
*hint hint* It's not. His behavio... (read in full...)
Should my partner not go to the wedding if I am not invited?
Q. I have been with my live in partner for over 20 yrs. His adult son (32 y/o) still won't accept me and refuses to see his dad if I'm around. The parents were divorces several years prior to our dating. The son has no relationship with his mother. ...
A. 13 April 2023: Of course, your partner should go to his son's wedding regardless if you are welcome or not! HE is his dad - YOU are no one to his son!
The son is OLD enough to decide WHO he wants to be around, and that includes you.
If you know this man (t... (read in full...)
Is this friendship ending my fault?
Q. Have I been immature or was I acting unreasonably? I had a best friend of 6 years and we haven't spoken in 7 months after an unexpected fallout. We were very close before and she was like a sister to me; we really trusted/loved each other....
A. 10 April 2023: Sometimes it happens. Who's at fault it is unimportant.
It sounds a bit like YOU became her fallback option. Someone to make plans with until she got a better offer.
I would just leave it be.
Who knows maybe she will grow up.
My guess is ... (read in full...)
I did not sign up for my wife's extravagant lifestyle and I am resentful
Q. I need some opinions and advice, as I am so stressed. My spouse owns her own business and since I met her over half a decade ago, her business has been rocky to the point that some months, she doesn't even take home a paycheck at all. The problem...
A. 6 April 2023: Sit her down with a financial planner/advisor. Make some REALISTIC budgets.
Ask her to STICK to them.
If the planner says to SELL the car, she sells the car. Buy a cheaper one.
Consider downsizing the house if it's too expensive, now IS a ... (read in full...)
Is she that busy or just blowing me off?
Q. I’m new to the area and looking for friends and to spend my time productively. I met a coworker who is also female and we agreed to meet to exercise. However while no set plans and a good reason it seems she always has an excuse. Last time she said ...
A. 5 April 2023: Maybe a bit of both?
I'd go work out on my own, and look for friendships outside of work.... (read in full...)
Need advice no judgements about friend
Q. So I am looking for possible advice please. Not judgement. It's jsut been my birthday, and like people do. My fiend messaged me to wish me a happy birthday. This led to a conversation and ultimate led to us messaging in a sexual way. This has n...
A. 2 April 2023: "Surely you have to be a little attracted to someone to message them in a sexual manner. More than once?"
For some, it's a game. It's just something to do to entertain themselves. He might be attracted to you but that doesn't mean he CARES.
... (read in full...)
My wife is committing benefit fraud. I don't want to report her but I want her to leave me alone
Q. I hope I don't look like I'm bitter with this question but I'd like to know your opinions with this. I have 2 daughters aged 17 and 19 and I've been paying child maintenance. Admittedly it was only £150 when they were both little but I've always ...
A. 2 April 2023: Does the money she is "fraudulently claiming" go toward the kids OR herself?
That is what I wonder.
If you report her HOW hard is it going to be on your youngest?
That would be my only concern.
Now the "blackmail" you got going there ... (read in full...)
Accusations of cheating following symptoms of an infection
Q. I have been with my partner for around 2 years. We are both homosexual men and throughout I firmly believe we have both been faithful and can 100% say I have. I'm stuck right now. Over the past few days my partner has developed symptoms of either a ...
A. 2 April 2023: "Until results come in I just want him to trust me in the same way I trust him but he won't and its killing me inside. That being said I can see it from his view."
You can't do anything to MAKE him trust you. Even being faithful, honest, and ... (read in full...)
Should I contact my friend to see if she's ok?
Q. I have a friend that says she doesn’t feel good and has Been under more stress due to changes at her job. She’s been having to take work home almost all week. I want to check on her and make sure she’s ok and taking care of herself. We were supposed ...
A. 2 April 2023: Why not?
If you are friends, then it's absolutely OK to reach out and say:" hey how are you doing? Just checking in to see if you are doing OK, text or call if you have time."... (read in full...)
I didj not get to see my father before he passed away
Q. A year on i am still struggling with pain and regret over my dad dying. he was in hospital for a month and i thought he was going to come out. i regret so much i never went to the hospital it kills me. i was living the other side of the coun...
A. 28 March 2023: Instead of beating yourself up for something YOU CAN NOT change, accept it and NEXT time you have a loved one in the hospital, GO see them, even if they are there for a stubbed toe.
OP, you can't change the past.
If you had gone see him, yo... (read in full...)
I need to know if I am being stupid
Q. Do you think I’m being stupid ? So I met this guy he was amazing I really liked him we dated for 3months and it was amazing however he has a very stressful job and he works very long hours and seeing eachother with my work aswell was becoming quite ...
A. 27 March 2023: "do you think someone would actually chose a job over a relationship?"
Whether I THINK someone should or shouldn't do something is irrelevant.
IF he believes that he WANTS that promotion MORE than he WANTS to keep building the relationship, I ... (read in full...)
Are we going to reconcile or divorce - your impression please?
Q. Hi, So me and my wife met in 2018 and moved in with each other. We got married in 2020 and have a daughter born in 2021. My wife and I were madly in love and would do a lot together and spend 90% of the day together. Same job, same routine, same ...
A. 25 March 2023: You two are like oil and water - may be due to her family's influence maybe because you aren't as good of a fit as you thought.
Do you think all this drama - police, etc, is healthy for your kid to witness?
"- she knows we are good together an... (read in full...)
Wait for fate or risk it
Q. Heya All, This is a petty question compared to most on here but was just looking the best way to approach a lady I find attractive. She works behind where I work at a women's hair salon and now and then I have seen her out the back having a c...
A. 24 March 2023: Do you talk to her when you are both out for a smoke?
If so, then just ask her out for a coffee or lunch or something.
If you don't then start by saying hi, how are you? And learn to converse with her. See if she COULD be interested. It m... (read in full...)
Am I correct in my opinion
Q. Hello. I’ve been seeing someone who’s a bit long distance. We hang out every 3 weeks. We take turns driving. I’m supposed to go up this weekend. To give him a heads up, I informed him I’ll be on my menstrual cycle. He says, “Lol..Not sure how to ...
A. 23 March 2023: I think he spoke from HIS experience. I know some women (my daughters for instance) get serious cramps and generally feel blah during the first 2-3 days, I was often easier irritated leading up to my period, but like you said EACH woman is ... (read in full...)
What can I say to make him realize I am serious about breaking up
Q. I am in a 3 year long relationship that i feel is just coming to an end but neither of us will admit it, we have a 7 month old baby and since we have had our son things have just not been the same , he is so moody and snappy and shouts at me infront ...
A. 22 March 2023: Is he living with you? Or is the place both of yours? As in, you rented it together or bought it together.
Depending on which - I think you need to make a plan, an exit strategy if you wish.
Also, do I understand your post right? Do you ha... (read in full...)
Is my partner trying to get me to leave him?
Q. My partner puts me down in public, calls me names and talks about his ex and how other women with different hair colour to me look better. When I'm out with him he is constantly looking at other women on purpose. It's starting to wear me down I'm ...
A. 20 March 2023: "Is he trying to make me leave him?"
No, I don't think so. I think he is trying to make you feel like HE is your only option. "better the devil you know".
You call him your partner, so you are not married I'm guessing?
Why are you still wit... (read in full...)
Is she avoiding me now?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm a little embarrassed even asking this because I think I know the answer but the mixed signals are confusing. I became friends with someone I used to work with and recently things progressed between us. As she's an ex-hairdresser I ...
A. 19 March 2023: If you were her first (and thus only) female experience she might be digesting this. Trying to figure out if can handle being out and open.
If you are not her first female experience, maybe she is still exploring and she doesn't WANT to invest "... (read in full...)
What is this married man doing??
Q. So, there is someone I know who I am NOT allowed to date. Think something like teacher and professor, or employee and superior. However, I don’t see him very frequently. I have a huge crush on him, which I know is awful on its own. Why do I fe...
A. 14 March 2023: You need to start by setting some firm boundaries.
Shut down flirting and touching. It's not helping the situation.
Whatever issues he has in his marriage... it is none of your business or problem. That is for him to figure out... with his ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a female coworker
Q. I am a female and have a crush on a female coworker. We have chatted at times through text but I’m unsure if she is interested in women which is fine because we could at least be friends. The problem is she seems cautious even when I mention hanging ...
A. 14 March 2023: I think you need to pull back with this whole dating or going out.
You write:" See How can I continue on with our friendship and find ways to help her treat me as a friend and let her guards down?"
That sounds SO predatory! If you had been a g... (read in full...)
Friend wants her rude& spoilt daughter to attend my birthday weekend.
Q. ?If anyone can offer any advice I’d appreciate it. My friend has a 13 year old daughter who is very spoilt and has a very bad attitude towards everyone and everything. Before everyone starts ranting sticking up for her- I’ve know h...
A. 14 March 2023: Be firm.
A 13-year-old has NO place at an adult birthday party weekend. If she can't FIND a sitter, she can't attend.
I don't think it's all about the kiddo's attitude but the fact that you don't BRING a 13-year-old to this kind of event an... (read in full...)
My partner has a huge drinking problem
Q. I have been together with my boyfriend for 13 years, we have a child together and we have our own home together. However for the past 2 years I’ve noticed my boyfriend’s drinking is getting out of hand, at first his drinking was only moderate, but ...
A. 10 March 2023: OP, he "LOVES" the drinking more than he loves you and your son. He is "CHOOSING" the drinking over you both.
THAT is what addicts do.
An addict will promise whatever they think you want to hear.
"I'll get help"
"I'll stop"
" I have... (read in full...)
I'm in an unhappy relationship and feel trapped
Q. I’m in a 6 year old relationship and I’m trapped. We broke up 3 years ago and then she found out she was pregnant so we got back together and I love my boy more than anything in the world and would do anything for him. The relationship was never ...
A. 9 March 2023: This doesn't sound healthy. Neither for you OR your son.
It sounds like she takes full advantage of you. Because she KNOWS you want a family. You are basically PAYING to play house with her. That is it.
You could still spend time with your s... (read in full...)
My ex makes little effort with our son
Q. Hi I just need a bit of advice on what to do regarding my sons dad we split up a year ago due to him cheating on me with my best friend he has our son twice a week for 2 hours a day and also pays no maintenance the problem is he won’t do anything ...
A. 8 March 2023: I'd stop the visits and get child maintenance through the courts.
I can imagine it's heartbreaking that his dad can't be arsed to WANT to spend time with his son but I think perhaps NOT seeing his dad might be better overall for your son?
... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with me for not wanting to celebrate my birthday?
Q. My family knows that I hate celebrating my birthday and I expect them to not to make any plans for my birthday. All of my friends know I hate celebrating my birthday and know that I only expect a text message from them that says "Happy birthday". ...
A. 8 March 2023: "Was I in the wrong?"
Absolutely not!
You don't OWE your brother, SIL, and nephew to INCLUDE them in ANYTHING you do.
They can go on their OWN camping trip!
If your friends can respect your views on birthday celebrations, why can't... (read in full...)
I just want to get rid of my virginity and move on
Q. Heres my problem. I’m 20 and still a virgin and haven’t had my first kiss yet. For me personally it isn’t something that I’m purposefully avoiding nor do I have strong feelings about sex. Tbh I just want to get rid of it so I can just move on. ...
A. 6 March 2023: What is wrong with being a virgin?
Do you think you will all of a sudden become "popular" and met guys if you have sex with some random guy?
TBH, nothing will change about WHO you are being a virgin or not. Except if you are unlucky you migh... (read in full...)
Wife spent wedding money without asking me
Q. My wife and I recently got married and for our wedding present, our friends and family banded together to pay for our visa and relocation expenses (we are long distance). Shortly afterwards my wife was poorly and ended up being too ill to go to...
A. 5 March 2023: |Are you sure she WANTS to relocate?
Someone who spends $800 dollars on something as "useless" as concert tickets when she HAS no income (at the time) and the money she uses is already earmarked for Visa costs - is not really wanting to get that... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a bisexual man
Q. Hi Aunties, I have fallen hard for a guy, real hard. He is younger than me by 10years. He says he is straight, l am gay. We have kissed and cuddled and he sends me love messages and calls me his queen. He is real sweet with me. We stay in diff...
A. 4 March 2023: Why are you bothering with this guy?
All he is doing is TOYING with you, PLAYING you for a fool.
He has a partner, and it isn't you. YOU are just someone he USES to test out his curiosity about men.
Why NOT look for a guy who WANTS to be wi... (read in full...)
Childish wife is angry yet again
Q. Hi There, I'm a 42yr old married man with 1 child. Myself and my wife are arguing alot at the moment and not getting on at all, I feel we are at a point that anything that can create an argument will. Yesterday was my wife's birthday we have...
A. 4 March 2023: It does seem like you two are not communicating with each other at all.
I absolutely can see this from both sides.
You wanted to make the "Happy Birthday" cute by having little man gift her the card.
She felt like you didn't CARE about he... (read in full...)
Odd experience at a house viewing.
Q. I’m on here to see if anyone else has had odd experiences whilst viewing houses to buy? My fiancé and I are looking to buy our first property, so obviously we didn’t really know what to expect when viewing homes. None of our friends are home...
A. 4 March 2023: I absolutely agree with FA
"Probably the reason why most reputable estate agents insist on showing the house when the owners are not home."
We did have ONE rather nasty encounter with an owner at the very first house we were looking at. He b... (read in full...)
Former FWB still has feelings for me not reciprocated
Q. I’m not quite sure how to sort of approach this situation. It’s quite complicated but to go back to the start. 12 years ago I met my now husband - he was in a relationship so nothing happened between us at that time. I did however have a 4 year ...
A. 27 February 2023: I have to agree with anon, he is testing the waters with you.
Seriously, IF he had wanted something SERIOUS with you, he would have brought it up WAY before you started dating his friend and he started dating someone else.
He is having a fant... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend I'm gay?
Q. How do I tell my girlfriend that she was right to be worried and that I am actually gay? Long story short my girlfriend always had this 'feeling I was gay' because I've had sex with men and I've always denied it, I don't know maybe I was hidi...
A. 24 February 2023: Tell her the truth.
She deserves to know. And you deserve to be honest not only with her but with yourself.
If you keep lying to her you are not being fair.
If you want sex with men, go be single or date a guy. Don't string your GF along.... (read in full...)
How to repair a fractured friendship?
Q. Recently, I got into a big fight with one of my close friends. Needless to say, shamefully, I was the one at fault and became very over-emotional and angry with them at the time for reasons I could not comprehend while I was in an emotional state. ...
A. 22 February 2023: Good for you to accept that you need to work on yourself!
So many posters do not want to hear they need more help than we can give.
You were willing to listen, take on board what you heard, and accept that this is in your hands.
I hope... (read in full...)
How do I change feelings of abandonment and not ruin my marriage
Q. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice on how to change feelings of abandonment. For background, I was neglected and abused as a child and never felt like I belonged with my family. Both of my parents disowned their families as they became a...
A. 21 February 2023: Get some help in dealing with your childhood trauma.
Pushing your husband away are you trying to sabotage your life? At some point, your husband COULD say, enough of this. And it would be on you.
" Even after all this time I still think of t... (read in full...)
Need advice I am at my wits end
Q. Hi me and my ex split up 3 year ago we have a son together I also have a son from a previous relationship who he brought up as his own as his real father does not bother with him he looks after them while I work 18 hours a week over 3 days he says ...
A. 21 February 2023: Maybe you need to look into having someone else watch your kids.
I don't think your oldest being mad at you is about you as much as it is about his own feelings, a divorce or split can be rough on kids. They don't always know how to express ... (read in full...)
How to repair a fractured friendship?
Q. Recently, I got into a big fight with one of my close friends. Needless to say, shamefully, I was the one at fault and became very over-emotional and angry with them at the time for reasons I could not comprehend while I was in an emotional state. ...
A. 21 February 2023: Maybe you need to focus on HOW you can STOP hurting people when you are "over-emotional and angry" instead of giving empty platitudes.
Because this wasn't a one-off. You have done this to said friend before and they forgave you several times un... (read in full...)
Friend let me down & never apologized!
Q. My friend has really let me down and she doesn’t seem at all sorry. My daughter is on half term and she went to stay with her dad for the week, who lives 6 hours away. Anytime my daughter leaves, I miss her so much, I always organize things t...
A. 19 February 2023: Your daughter going back to her dad's is not your friend's issue, it is yours.
While I REALLY get the "empty nester" feelings, you need to accept that this is part of life, your daughter is growing up, and learning to be independent, and SO shoul... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 18 February 2023: EDIT..
I hate when I get auto corrected on an answer..
"Secondly, talking for a month does equate to knowing someone well enough to have GREAT sex."
Should of course have been :
"Secondly, talking for a month does NOT equate to knowing... (read in full...)
What if he tells others we had sex?
Q. I want my friend to fuck me, he usually comes to me and ask for us to fuck but I'm scared he might tell other's that we did it. I just don't want others to know. I'm a virgin but when he come around I try to hold myself but deeply I just want him ...
A. 17 February 2023: Girl, you can't trust him to
1. ENSURE there is consent
2. Keep his mouth shut.
He will brag if you have sex. You will either end up pregnant with a horrid reputation or JUST have a horrid reputation.
Maybe you need not be alone w... (read in full...)
An affair thats remembered
Q. why cant i forget an affair my husband had 20 years ago we are happy now but its alwas in the back of my mind...
A. 17 February 2023: Because it was a betrayal.
We can forgive, forgetting is not an option. It happened. You know it, HE knows it.
What you DO with that knowledge is up to you.
You CHOSE to stay. You CHOSE to forgive.
When it pops into your head what do you ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: I have to ask do you like this guy or not?
That is the main part.
Secondly, talking for a month does equate to knowing someone well enough to have GREAT sex. And, sometimes first-time sex with someone is AWKWARD and not that great - mostly b... (read in full...)
Unfriendly neighbor says hello after a year of avoiding me?
Q. The woman living next to me is the most confusing human I've encountered! When she moved in, I made sure to say hello, in passing, but she ignored me. Another time, I went to wave as she drove up her driveway, and she turned her head in the oppo...
A. 14 February 2023: It seems a lot of people lost their social skills with Covid, seriously.
It's not as common as it used to be to know your neighbors.
Who she chose to snub you for a year, who knows? Maybe life was bad for her (for whatever reason) and now ... (read in full...)
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