A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner puts me down in public, calls me names and talks about his ex and how other women with different hair colour to me look better. When I'm out with him he is constantly looking at other women on purpose. It's starting to wear me down I'm losing confidence in myself, my looks, my abilities and I look in the mirror and see a unhappy woman. I have tried talking to him many times about it but he seems to do it more then I feel he's doing it on purpose. I know I'm a pretty woman, slim, intelligent, nice and kind and no other man has ever said these things to me in a relationship what is wrong with him why does he want to make me feel unhappy. Is he trying to make me leave him? Because I'm certainly thinking of that now seems no other alternative? My partner is 50 years old and I am 49
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confidence, his ex, puts me down Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2023): Why are you even with this guy when he treats you like that? Women who respect themselves don't allow men to disrespect them. You've given him license to treat you like dirt and he's taking full advantage like the scumbag he is. There are similar penises attached to guys who actually respect women.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 March 2023):
 Why are you only THINKING about leaving him? Why are you not busy making your exit plan and walking the hell away from this imbecile?
My guess is he is trying to wear you down to a point where you have no self confidence and where you think you don't deserve anything better. Don't wait around long enough to believe that, otherwise it will be very difficult for you to walk away.
You DO deserve better. You can DO better. Get out of there and get on with the rest of your life without him.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (20 March 2023):
 I have to ask but why are are you with him. This relationship brings more negatives than positives.
He wears you down, and as a consequence you are losing confidence in yourself and you see an unhappy woman when you look in the mirror, this is just not right.
In a relationship you should feel loved, uplifted, happy, be made to feel special. I'm sorry to say that your partner is a jerk and you can do better than him.
If I was you i would leave him, be on your own for a while and build up your self esteem and confidence again. He is an energy drainer who is zapping the life out of you.
You can do better and you know it, by your own admission you say your a pretty woman, slim, intelligent, nice and kind. So get rid of him and find someone who gives you the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 March 2023):
 "Is he trying to make me leave him?"
No, I don't think so. I think he is trying to make you feel like HE is your only option. "better the devil you know".
You call him your partner, so you are not married I'm guessing?
Why are you still with him?
If you think talking to him will make him change? It won't.
He has SEEN the effect his words have on you. He knows you are an attractive woman and He wants YOU to feel insecure, that you can't do better and thus will stay.
But why stay? What do you get out of this relationship?
You DO know you can do better? Even on your own, right?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2023): I don't think it matters whether he wants you to leave him or not. What matters is how he's making you feel. When someone hears negative things about themselves enough, they begin to believe it and no one deserves to feel that way. The bottom line is that he has no respect for you and if you continue to tolerate it, you're telling him that you have no respect for yourself. Your partner should be trying to build you up, not tear you down
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