A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do I tell my girlfriend that she was right to be worried and that I am actually gay? Long story short my girlfriend always had this 'feeling I was gay' because I've had sex with men and I've always denied it, I don't know maybe I was hiding it from myself but recently I've come to terms with it and realised I do only like men, problem is now I've told her so many times I'm not, I don't know how to turn around and say, you know what actually..Any advice would be great! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (27 February 2023):
 You need to tell her the truth sooner rather than later. Its not fair on her to keep going on living a lie like this.
I think she kind of knows that you are gay, so yes she will be upset, but she will get over it.
You really need to step up to the plate now and tell her the truth so you can both get on with your lives.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2023): Tell her the truth. She already suspects it and it's not going to be a shock. Just tell her that you were in denial.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (25 February 2023):
 As someone who was in your girlfriend's position once, many years ago when I was young and very naive, I can tell you the fact my "boyfriend" lied to me, so he could pretend to others he was straight, hurt me much more than his sexuality. You have no right messing with her head as you are doing. I cannot even begin to tell you how screwed up something like this can make someone.
You need to tell her NOW and let her get on with her life with someone who wants to be with her. What you are doing to her is not fair.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 February 2023):
 Tell her the truth.
She deserves to know. And you deserve to be honest not only with her but with yourself.
If you keep lying to her you are not being fair.
If you want sex with men, go be single or date a guy. Don't string your GF along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2023): Can you think of anything better than telling her the truth?
I'd speculate that she wouldn't be surprised, if she has been suspicious of it all along.
Lets be real. You like men, and you have a girlfriend. How long can you keep-up this charade, and why would you hold her feelings hostage, when she could be finding herself someone who likes women?
You're not protecting her; you're protecting yourself, because you've lied to her.
Tell her the truth, and deal with the consequences. My guess is she'll be upset because you've been dishonest; but she will eventually forgive you. If you've always been good to her, she may be happy maintaining a friendship; but if she doesn't, respect her wishes and move on.
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