A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend that says she doesn’t feel good and has Been under more stress due to changes at her job. She’s been having to take work home almost all week. I want to check on her and make sure she’s ok and taking care of herself. We were supposed to hang out but she said she’s busy working all week. We talked friday and said we would chat today but she didn’t reach out to me and i didn’t reach out to her to be a bother. Is it okay to contact her at the end of the weekend or wait to see when she contacts me ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2023): Put together a little picnic, with some good wine and healthy food you know she likes. Call ahead and ask if you might drop-by, you'd like just a few moments of her time.
People often isolate themselves when they're under pressure; because putting on a "happy-face" for well-meaning friends and family is just another source of stress. Tell her outright you are worried about her, and you want to help her to decompress. You should schedule a weekend for a spa together. Get facials, mani-pedis, and massages. She may be under deadlines, and unable to commit; but keep offering to get her away from home.
She may need to be looking for another job, but she has to come to that conclusion on her own. Often, employers overload people with work that they wish would quit; so they don't have to fire them and pay unemployment compensation. Sometimes, people are not good at their jobs; and they are forced to do extra work to compensate for their lack of productivity and efficiency. You didn't mention that she was ambitious and working towards a promotion.
All you can really do is offer her a stress-free outing, and be supportive. Our jobs are very personal challenges we have to overcome; and pride (or privacy) may not allow her to explain all the details of why she's under such stress and pressure. Don't push, gently nudge. Offer her ways to lower her stress-levels.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 April 2023):
 Why not?
If you are friends, then it's absolutely OK to reach out and say:" hey how are you doing? Just checking in to see if you are doing OK, text or call if you have time."
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