A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend told me that he was bi, which is okay with me. We have had fun exploring with it. But lately he doesn't always want to have sex with me or go down on me as much anymore. He does other things to please me. He says because he is angry. He says that he doesn't want to have sex with any woman because it makes him angry. He said he feels safe just doing it himself, the way he does. Yet, he provides for us and talks about our future. He has a close friend that is a girl. Could he be having sex with her? He says that he isn't. He participates in the follwing activities: Has profiles on alternative websites, has met with men, watches gay porn, still looks at women in porn but likes to see them "receiving" and looks at the man, enjoys giving men blow jobs, enjoys anal, but hasn't actually had it with a man, fantasizes about us having a threesome, fantasizes about me getting a "bigger" one than him. Is he gay? What is the difference between gay and bi?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (15 March 2008):
 your experimental behaviour in this relationship has sent him all over the shop. he no longer knows who he is or what he wants to buy (into).
the point is that he is experincing a sexual awakening-he may be confused and if he feels that he has to have sex with a woman to allow him enjoy it with men it may make him angry if he lacks desire for women and feels used. In this instance she might become the obstacle to his full expression and bear the brunt of all his self hate as her necessity in the sex act become more of a problem to him weighing him down. i suggest that you have a long think as i suspect he is gay and in the process of coming out
helping him be himself will be viewed with appreciation, while holding him back will garner contempt.
but wait a minute your the one with the problem, maybe he wants to have an outwardly straight relationhsip with you, christmas trimmings and all; but have gay sex as his lifeblood on the side.
if that is his plan then get out as although it may fulfill his wishes a life without love is not that great even if it sounds okay on paper....
A
female
reader, sexcbex +, writes (14 March 2008):
 I think he may well be gay but there is nothing wrong with that he may still like the look of girls but not be as sexually attracted to them before he came out as bi-sexual if you can speak to him in depth about your relationship then try to find out where it is going and how you can help him out. I think he may need a shoulder lean on and you could do that for him. Good Luck hun !!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (14 March 2008):
 I agree with gothgirl, that the anger is the root of the issue, which may be homosexuality related OR not! Because, he used to have sex with you okay, but something has CHANGED to make him angry during heterosexual sex? If so, what has changed, simply his exposure to gay sex? Have you asked why he feels angry? Does he feel like he's not being true to himself? Is he doing it just to please you? How does he feel about you outside of the bedroom? I think you may want to prepare yourself for the worst, because it may very well be that his distancing from you is to prepare (him and you) for the end.
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A
female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Hi there,
There are a couple good answers here, but if you want what I think, it may seem like he is leaning towards men, which may explain why he doesn't want to have sex with you or any other woman. He may be afraid to tell you that he is discovering that he is gay because he is worried about how you may perceive him, and if so, he may be having a hard time coming out and telling you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): please look at straightspouse.org for some help here... He's not being fully honest with himself or you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Wow, well it's possible that he's bi but is gradually deciding that he prefers men! From the sound of things that could be very likely. Maybe there is not as much sexual activity with you because he is working up to telling you that he's gay, but is maybe worried about how you'd take it. xxx
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I think that there is something mentally off about him. I don't think that this is because he is gay, but because he says that doing things with a woman makes him angry. Was he abused in the past by a woman? If so, maybe he needs some counseling.
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