A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am bisexual and have long struggled with my sexuality. I am so depressed by this all and despite what people say - bisexuals are not greedy. It isnt even so much a sexual thing to me but something deeper and more meaningful. The emotions and connections I have with a woman is different to what I experience with a man - both of which caters and fulfils different needs for me. I had a girlfriend a few years ago who I loved, I am currently married to the most amazing guy who I love and love me; but part of me always feels missing-the same way I felt when I was with a woman. I hate being this way and I wish if I could just be straight or lesbian. Maybe in some strange world where I could equally have a girlfriend and boyfriend perhaps things may be different...but of course that could never be that way - my desires are for a loving, committed, caring relationship - but my needs are met on different levels by both men and women; both of which I feel myself yearn for on those different levels. But I am to the point I am so depressed...I surpressed my sexuality for a long time and I was miserable...but now I am even more miserable since acknowledging my bisexuality. I feel so depressed and can not cope. And I know it is unfair on my partner and I feel guilty beyond words for him that I have these feelings / needs - I hate that I have to be this way and struggle all my life. I do not know how to cope -the only way is to surpress my feelings and just pick ONE and settle with it for life. Or have a gf on the side - which I could not do mentally and emotionally as firstly that is unfair to my hubby and secondly I seek a deeper relationship and those situations tend to be more so sexual...so it is a lose / lose situation whatever happens to me from here on....I am so unhappy, I do not know what to do anymore...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): My GF was in the same position and didn't tell me. It was only after she tactfully found out my thoughts on female bisexuality ( I am a straight male) that we sat down and talked about it together. We were very honest with each other and our feelings about it. I was quite happy with her to have a GF as I don't see my GF with another girl as cheating (this is not the same for all guys)
We ended up getting married and now have a GF for the both of us, living permanently with us. I now have a wife and a girlfriend and my wife has a husband and a girlfriend. It takes some work to talk through everything , but once this is done and everybody knows what everybody is comfortable with , was surprisingly easy to build our relationship.
Hope this helps:)
A
female
reader, bi  +, writes (19 February 2008):
I know exactly how you feel. I'm a bi woman, i've always had difficulty with relationships. I stayed single for most of my life because of it. Being with a woman is very different to being with a man but as i've got older i found myself wanting a relationship and i learnt i fall for the person not the sex, i always thought i would end up with a man as i dated more men but i'm with a woman in a full on relationship!! It hasn't been easy, my g/f has put up with alot and that missing feeling i had still props up every now and then but i think it always will...Thats the disadvantage of being bi... You have a man who loves you, you love him, thats more than what most couples can say, straight/gay!! You will always want the opposite of what you've got but realise a good thing when you've got one!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Do you want to be happy while others sad , or do you want to be sad and others happy?
If you play fair , you become unhappy. Do you want to be the center of your world or do you want others to be center of your world.
If you go for your own happiness, you may have to sacrifice some.
What is important is peace inside of you and no matter what you have to pay to gain it.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Please answer these questions which I have posed to three other bisexual women I've been with fairly recently - "Is the difficulty of finding a man who really knows how to please a woman orally - with unlimited and talented cunnilingus - the desire you are lacking with most men?"
Two of the three others said "yes."
Or, is there an emotional connection with women that adds something to the sexual pleasure? With those answers, perhaps it could help you better understand your dilemma . . . maybe? I wonder this myself, because the "two" claimed that I pleasured them as well as any lesbian could, and added the manhood factor as well.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Weather bisexual or not, intimacy, and what you're lacking, isn't descriminatory. You can reach that level with your husband. It just takes work on both sides. This level you're seeking is (supplimented) by the feelings related when having sex with a male and then a female. What your seeking isn't sexual at all. It's a connection with another person to an amazing level.
Instead of trying to cope, figure out in your marriage how this level can be reached between you and your husband.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (6 February 2008):
 If you want to stay with your husband, I think maybe you should think about identifying the aspects you like about women that are missing from you current relationship and asking if you guy can emphasize these qualities that you feel are lacking and distressing you. i assume it's more than just the physcial that attracts you to the female, and I believe that any quality found in a female can be produced in a male too, so it's worth trying to cultivate your man the way you want him (sorry if that sounds too manipulative, but i'd try that before leaving him or cheating on him with a girl?)
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