A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a really funny problem but i'll say it anyway. My best friend who is a boy i have known for about 3 years now. We are so close that we could pass for brother and sister. We talk loads when we're alone but when there's another person there he doesn't act the same, like he's ashamed to act like that with anyone else. I do tend to ignore it most of the time but after a while it gets a bit annoying. Anyway, If it's a girl he ignores me completely and though it wouldn't make a difference if I were there or not. Can some one tells me why he does this,is it because he treats me like his sister and disowns me as soon as he sees a girl or some other unseen reason?
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 I can't really tell if you have feelings for your best friend or not, but it sound to me like he pushes you off when the other girls are around because they might get the wrong idea and think that you two are together, and perhaps that wouldn't be a bad thing, but it's rough when you aren't dating to have your date options limited b/c of your closeness to guy. My two best friends in high school were boys and people ALWAYS assumed that I was dating them--annoying for EVERYONE who may have been looking for lovin'! So i'd say don't think that he's trying to dissociate from you because he's ashamed but rather because he wants to make it clear that you are nothing beyond friends; if you aren't satisfied with BEING just friends, you'll have to make this clear to him, and maybe his vision of you will change in a way that makes you two open to date each other; if you ARE satisfied with being strictly best friends, and it still bugs you to be pushed away around girls, you have to say something to him about how you feel neglected and unwanted as a friend when he's around other girls, and that he doesn't need to shove you away to make it obvious that what you two have is platonic.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): That would bother me too. I think it is probably what you say that he is ashamed to act that way around other people. But that's stupid and it just shows that he is insecure.
But don't let it get you feeling insecure and don't let it get the best of you. What I would do if I were you is very calmly mention it to him. Tell him what he has been doing to you and let him know that you have noticed it and that it bothers you. And hopefully he will acknowledge it and change.
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