A
male
age
30-35,
*olostick23
writes:My girlfriend is best friends with a guy who is bi and he is always over at her house hanging out with her and her parents watching movies, having dinner, and other stuff. I have never been to her house and only talked to her father on a few occasions. She has never invited me to her house and a couple of times when we plan to hang out she brings her friend along.They meet before school and hang out after school going to each other's houses and I'm left outside. At times i mention this to her and i don't want to be inviting myself. And when i talk about it she always reassures me that they are just friends. What can i say to her in terms she can understand and what can she do about it.
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female
reader, maria14r +, writes (23 January 2008):
just tell her that you want to spend more time with her because you feel like your relationship is falling apart. sit down and talk to her dont just mention it to her sometimes. really talk to her. there has to be communication in a relationship.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Well, there are two issues at hand here, I think..:-feeling threatened by this guy-lack of privacy between you and your gf. And I think it's more that this guy is smothering you, not always around not giving you guys time to breathe together than the first issue. You could say that you would like to spend more quality, alone time with her, and that you want her to be a bigger part of your life. Ask her where she sees the relationship going, how she sees the time you two spend together, does she feel comfortable with the idea of you coming over to her house someday (and follow up with why/not). Ask her if she thinks it makes sense that you see her significantly less often than her best friend does, is there a reason the best friend has to occupy your time together--YOU want to date HER, not HER and the guy, after all (this could be taken as offense so I don't know if I'd mention it). And in an ideal world, boyfriends are supposed to be girls' best friends, I'd like to think, she should be dedicating as much time (if not more) time to you than to this guy friend (this also depends on how long you've been together, i'd say if it's under a year maybe this generalization should be questioned). I would also make more of an effort for her so you don't sound like a hypocrite--invite her for a weekly movie night or something only you two do together. Good luck
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