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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi, this isnt really advice im after but something i just cannot get my head around?!!!!!!!!my sister is 13 years old she will be 14 in august. she has been goin out with this 17 year old guy now for about 3 to 4 months and i know she is having sex with him, ive caught her tossing him off which isnt nice and theyve ALWAYS got their tongues down each others throats. it makes me physically sick to watch! my mum lets him in the house EVERY night till half 10 when his curfue is and if they arent in the house, theyre at his or out somewhere together, yeh its ok young love and that but my mum lets him stay over on weekends and in school holidays. my mum doesnt know they're having sex, but i know they are, they know they are and my sister has told her friends that they are. shes on the pill which my mum doesnt know about, my sister tells me everything, to be honest im kind of glad that she knows she can talk to me but on the other hand i really dont wanna know about my little sisters sex life. ive had boyfriends i was with my ex for 7 months, i was 15, we didnt have sex. as im ilegal and i think its wrong persoaly but other people think different. my last boyfriend craig, i was with him 3 months and my mum wouldnt even let him in the house, he was 17 and she said he was too old for me as he looked older, she said he was too old and she didnt trust him, she seai he had "those eyes" to me his eyes where beautiful but mum wouldnt even give him the benifit of the doubt!! can anyone see whats goin on here? because ive had enough!
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my ex, sex life, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 It sounds like jealousy, or at least, annoyance at the injustice that your mom didn't even give craig and you the time of day while you say your sister is tramping around in the meantime, it's a double standard. I think your mother's treatment of that relationship should be more concern for you, esp. if that's what broke you and craig up, then I would go to your mom and tell her what a disaster she caused, otherwise as long as your sister's using protection with all these multiple partners, there's not much else to do, I don't think, except warn her how she's going to have a soiled rep and that she should try to be a little more discreet (sorta sounds like she likes to get caught tho!...?).
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks fishdish. but also i know my sister has slept with numerous other boys, so this one was no news to me! why would she 'police me and craig' we NEVER had sex, im underage and dont want to have sex! tbh i just think shes a little tart. its discustin and his brother (my ex, thats how they met!) knows that theyre havin sex as they have caught them many times! 'I think the root of this issue is jealous because of the double standard your mother has' why the hell would i be jealous of a 13 year old slut that spreads her legs to all and sundry!
thanks everyone
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 April 2008):
You will perhaps irreversibly lose your sister's trust if you rat her out. her sex life isn't your business to tell. I understand that she's MAKING it your business by telling you about it, and by being so public about it but you have to respect her expression of her love as hers, you wouldn't want her policing you and craig would you? I think the root of this issue is jealous because of the double standard your mother has. So really you should be directing your concerns that your sister's getting special treatment and you aren't to your mother, rather than what your sister's doing behind (usually?) closed doors. I would also suggest to your sister that you would prefer not to hear about her sex life, because first, you don't support it, and second, it's between her bf and her, and it's an act of intimacy and privacy, and the bf wouldn't like her telling all the dirty details around, besides you don't want to hear them. I think your sister's just flaunting this stuff, to an extent, so that she looks more mature than you and can feel superior. Just tell her it makes you uncomfortable. If you can though, keep encouraging her being safe about the sex, that's pretty smart for someone her age, so be happy they're being safe and not hurting anyone and let them do whatever they feel like. Your mom is the one hurting you, so like I said sit down and talk to her about why your sis has privileges that weren't privy to you. sorry to talk in circles, good luck!
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female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 It seems unfair that your mother let your sister's boyfriend in the house but she didn't let yours in. Parents, huh? I suppose there's nothing that can be done. I think you should explain to her the dangers about it, and it is illegal, after all. Just explain to her what could happen and see what she says.
Wishing you the best.
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Oh and parents are strange creatures, what rules apply for one sibling do not always apply to the others. Perhaps your mom lets her get away with more as she feels she was too hard on you or because it caused too much friction, either way no its not fair but it is VERY serious and if your mom does not address the situation she is not a very responsible parent.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): I think I would be inclined to tell her for the sake of your sisters sexual health and as it is illegal.
Worst case scenario, she could fall pregnant and I can assure you he wouldn't stick around then.
You need to tell your mom so that she can advise your sister to nip her behaviour in the bud. I think your mom should have been a more responsible parent before now - what 13 year old is allowed to have boyfriends sleeping in their room??
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni wasnt realy askin for likee, wether to tell my mum or not, i just wondered if it made any sense what my sister is allowed to do etc... thanks though x
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male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (3 April 2008):
What this boy has done with your sister is a criminal offence and needs to be dealt with. Obviously it is not your place to deal with it as you are still only young yourself so yes, you should tell your mother. Be careful that you make a clear distinction between what you know and what you assume.
If your mother does not deal with this then you still have a responsibility to report it to another adult, perhaps child services or ChildLine.
Good on you for having the courage to deal with this and I wish you well.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 April 2008):
You should tell your mum what is going on. Shes an adult and she should be dealing with this, not you, you are a child just like your sister. Its not your responsibility to deal with your sister. Its alot for you to deal with.
I know you might be afraid that if you tell your mum then your sister will be mad and may not confide in you as much. This could happen, but that is something you may have to sacrifice for your sisters well being. However im sure she would eventually come around and see you are just looking out for her.
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 April 2008):
 I don't know why your mum has double standards about you dating a 17yr old and your sister doing it but I think you could cause a lot (maybe too much) trouble by telling your mum about your sister. Maybe try using the experience of your years to help your sis by telling her she really should use condoms as well because the pill isnt 100% efective and condoms will protect her against STDs. If she doesn't pay any attention or is obnoxious maybe you could speak to another trusted adult about it. Personally I think telling your mum should be your last resort because it has so many long lasting far reaching consequences but if you feel thats your only option then you should do it.
CD
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