I think my husband is cheating with a co-worker and I no longer believe anything he says
Q. Last December I was in the car with my husband and the girl from his works office rang. They were talking for a bit then I heard what sounded like, dont forget to get me something nice for Christmas. My husband said she didn't say that and said, ...
A. 18 November 2015: Men can be very hurtful, and sometimes it's just stupidity or forgetfulness. We aren't tuned in to the same things as women are. We sometimes can learn it. Some men remain blithely ignorant of their partners deeper feelings.
However your fears go d... (read in full...)
We had a misunderstanding, I ignored her and now have I lost her?
Q. I've been with 'this girl' for like 4-5 months now and all was well 'till we had misunderstandings. I decided to ignore her as a risk to increase her interest levels; for that she got hurt (my sistake - I know)... She has blocked my number, I ...
A. 9 November 2015: Two days is nothing. My mother would sulk to get back at my father for three days, and they were in the same house.
You don't explain what the misunderstanding was, but perhaps it is time to call round and talk about it?
"The best part of break... (read in full...)
I told my crush how I felt about her and she replied 'so cute'
Q. I sent my crush a long paragraph saying that I liked her and stuff and all she responded was "So Cute" with a bunch of Heart of emojis... what does this mean??? ...
A. 9 November 2015: It does sound like she needs more convincing, but the way to do it is not by pouring your heart out. Try humour instead.
Be light, be easy and be confident. You may just find, if she isn't already interested in someone else, that she is prep... (read in full...)
My best friend is beginning to annoy me
Q. Hello Thank you for taking time to read this, This question is a about a friendship nor a relationship but it's very important so I decided to ask. So let me cut to the chase and tell you my problem. I have a friend who's been my best fri...
A. 9 November 2015: OK - so the person who was your best friend while you were in junior school now is no longer you best friend. Things change. Change is the only certainty in life. It's all right. Throughout your time people will come into your life and others will ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is on messenger in the middle of the night! Is he on with his ex?
Q. Hello. I would really appreciate advice please. In a long distance of a year. We see each other every other weekend, although this has reduced recently due to difficulties we have had. At times his texts are lovely and others a bit business...
A. 8 November 2015: This is a poor situation for you to be in. I think you should consider cutting your losses. There doesn't seem to be much joy in your partnership.... (read in full...)
My daughter's mother needs a place to stay but g/f won't like it. Should I just sneak her in and out?
Q. My daughter's mother just got out of jail/rehab, very suddenly and unexpectedly. Apparently she has no place to go, and misses her daughter so she asked to move in with me and my gf, temporarily (a few months) to get back on her feet. We do have ...
A. 8 November 2015: "How do I tell my gf about this??"
Well you just tell her - sooner rather than later. You and she are a partnership. Between the two of you you need to work out a satisfactory solution.
As they used to say, it's good to talk.... (read in full...)
I want sex more than ever, but being pregnant makes me feel ugly. Help!
Q. I am in my second trimester of pregnancy and I am finding myself becoming aroused very easily, undoubtedly an effect of hormones. But although I am physically aroused and have the desire for and ability to climax a lot stronger than before, I don't ...
A. 7 November 2015: Often women are incredibly beautiful when pregnant. Their complexions can be amazing. OK, your shape is a bit different but...
The thing is, how does your husband feel about you. Some men are incredibly turned on by their pregnant partners.
There... (read in full...)
Have had a crush on a special lady I've known for years, but is she just leading me on?
Q. Dear Cupid, Let me set the scene, I am a designer who is tall and head over heels for one spesh lady. I have many issues, this being one of them. I have a crush on a girl from uni. Since we graduated, she's been chatting to me loads. She ...
A. 7 November 2015: Why don't you just ask her out for a meal? Say, "How about joining me for a meal? Just you and me?" You arrange to pick her up and then take her to the restaurant of your choice.
If, when you collect her, her coterie is there, I think you will know... (read in full...)
Troubled relationships..whats wrong with me?
Q. Dear Cupid, After a little of time I'm back with a little headache. Last time I have been here, some people told me to stop my obsession with a historical character, and I swear, I tried. I started to choose some guys very different from m...
A. 7 November 2015: I'm sorry. Could you simplify your question for me? I understand that English may not be your first language. If you could put your problem to us another way perhaps we can offer some suggestions.
Thank you.... (read in full...)
Arguments always seem to be my fault. How do I show him that I want this relationship to work?
Q. My boyfriend and I always seem to be arguing over stupid things, and it always seems to be my fault. We have been together for over a year and I hate to see him feeling like he's being treated like crap, knowing that it is mostly my fault. Grante...
A. 6 November 2015: The thing is - and this is true for both of you - when you love someone you accept the whole package. You love people because of their foibles, because that's what makes them who they are. Never expect to change someone. As Jung said, water flows ... (read in full...)
I just want him to show he still cares, is there still hope?
Q. I really dont know where exactly to start. My husband and I have been married for almost four years but have been together for 11 years. We have two children together a five year old and a 11 month old. Im a stay at home mom and my husband works a ...
A. 5 November 2015: You should start building your own life and interests. Go out in an evening to classes, or with girl friends. Choose pursuits which can't be misconstrued. Just don't always have to be at his beck and call. Let him cook his own dinner now and then.
P... (read in full...)
I think my husband is cheating with a co-worker and I no longer believe anything he says
Q. Last December I was in the car with my husband and the girl from his works office rang. They were talking for a bit then I heard what sounded like, dont forget to get me something nice for Christmas. My husband said she didn't say that and said, ...
A. 5 November 2015: I guess you are asking how you can find out for sure. Maybe a private detective could help. I know that sound a bit extreme, but you don't say if you know anyone at the office you could pump for information.
Do you have a joint bank account? A lot ... (read in full...)
Should I suggest that she display this artist rending of her and her ex together?
Q. My fiancee has an artist rendering of her and her ex boyfriend from a trip that was important to her. It was her first time to go to the destination and the artist was on the street. A picture of it is on her Social Media. She knows I have seen it ...
A. 4 November 2015: Why don't you get an 'artist rendering' of you and her. You could hang that instead. It makes more sense. Why would you want her to live with ghosts of the past on view when she has you and the future?
The past is the past and she is prepared to a... (read in full...)
Are my fears reasonable? Is my Bf, who is divorced, just too close to his ex and her parents, still? And why should I be a secret?
Q. Hi, i really need an opinion from you guys. I'm 43 my bf is 50. i'm widow and he is divorced. We are now 5 months in relationship. We are not living together cos our place are 3 hours far distance, but we are always seeing each other, sometimes im s...
A. 3 November 2015: This can't go on can it. It's time for him to break the news about you and him so that everyone is clear.
Yes it's ultimatum time. Tell him what you want and by when you want it to happen. If he doesn't have the will, or tries to fob you off with... (read in full...)
Are there any better ways we could reorganize out working life? My Gf seems stressed by it all
Q. What's going on? My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we first got together we were living with my mother and moved out in about 1 year. April will make 2 years at our new place. We live in a small town with very f...
A. 3 November 2015: I have looked through your letter and I am hard pressed to find a question in there. I am also confused by your various schedules and permutations of schedules. It seems like you need to run a spreadsheet just to be in the house together at the same ... (read in full...)
My husband just left after bad mouthing me to our children. Any advice for me?
Q. My husband just left after bad mouthing me to our children. Ive been unwell for almost 3 weeks.. my cough has turned into bronchitis. Ive been feeling horribly miserable. When i first started out with the cough, i was still working out and ...
A. 3 November 2015: The first thing to do is get yourself a new trainer as soon as you feel well. I think it is a mistake to mix a domestic relationship with your fitness regime.
You don't say what level you train at but I think at any level getting a new trainer on y... (read in full...)
I've had feelings of jealousy ever since that she's had this great life up until now and I was largely miserable during that time!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years and it's been great overall, although we can have the odd argument like any healthy relationship. The only thing that bugs me is when I look at my past compared to hers. Initially when we first me...
A. 3 November 2015: You have to accept who you are. You are unique (like everyone else). Your path is your own, and the arrow of time goes one way. You can't go back, but in the future you can make up for things you missed.
You were programmed by your upbringing, your... (read in full...)
My life has changed, my ex is back but I fear history will repeat itself
Q. I met up with my first love a few months ago. We had dinner and talked for ages. A few weeks later he invited me to his home and we had a lovely day together, he bought a take away and wine. I felt so comfortable with him. He is so comfortable ...
A. 2 November 2015: You own two houses and you let one owing to money problems. What has caused that?
You have a good job, but it is a job that is hard on relationships, particularly if you are flying long haul.
You say you always seem to go back with people you have... (read in full...)
After finding out she was so easily intimate with others I'm not sure I want to be with her
Q. Hi I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years (she is 41)and she told me a few days ago that in the 4 years before we met that she had slept with 4 other guys, kissed others (so called 'friends') etc. and it has made me feel sick. I was not ...
A. 2 November 2015: I'm sorry that you have let her honesty affect you feelings. You can't accept who she is. You held an ideal, but her past behaviour has spoilt your impressions of her.
There is something important you need to know. A woman reinvents herself for ever... (read in full...)
Never been on a date. Do my looks and personality turn guys off?
Q. Hello. So, lately I've been feeling really anxious about myself. I've never been on a date or a relationship. Although, guys always flirt with me and approach me but they never ask me out or they flirt with me for days then they just act as if ...
A. 2 November 2015: It's not your looks or tomboy behaviour. Many men find that extremely attractive.
Perhaps you are picking the wrong type to flirt with. Perhaps you should play it a bit more cool. Sometimes less is more. Guys like a bit of mystery. It draws them... (read in full...)
What are the chances of us getting closer?
Q. I have befriended a guy on Facebook who was at a show I was at a few weeks back and I managed to track him down. He has a lot of followers and regularly posts pictures and articles on Facebook - but we live at opposite ends of the country so it's ...
A. 2 November 2015: Aunty BimBim is right. Find a boyfriend nearer home. How do you imagine a relationship is going to develop if you are at opposite ends of the country?
If you were crazy in love then I suppose you could quit your life where you are. and move near... (read in full...)
We had a close encounter and now he acts like I don't exist
Q. A few months ago, me and a guy that I like were extremely close. I told him how I felt and he confessed that he felt the same. We got together. We didn't go to far, but we did go close. Now, for some reason, he almost pretends that I don't exist. He ...
A. 2 November 2015: Is the guy your age? It may be that he isn't grown-up enough yet to have a proper man/woman relationship. He is running scared because he knows he will be in over his head.
Just let it go now. Don't make belittling remarks about him. Just smil... (read in full...)
The white lies boy friend and the online guy: is two better than one?
Q. fHello everyone, as it been about 4 years since I have not been on this site. If I had any followers who had been watching my question of help, I had left my ex with a mutual breakup. we are now friends with no regrets. I remain to be single t...
A. 2 November 2015: Choose the lighter happiness.... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about her moods
Q. my girlfriends mum died 2 years ago and shortly after she got her self into a physically emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, ive tried to help her the best I can and always be nice to her to make sure she is happy,I have sat there with ...
A. 2 November 2015: When someone is chronically depressed, as she seems to be, it is hard on people who are close to that person.
The thing is, she cannot get well on her own, and you are not trained to help her.
You need to get her to professional help through ... (read in full...)
Why is he, all of a sudden, interested in trying? Is sex, the first time, sometimes not successful?
Q. My bf never used to be very much into having sex. We've been dating for over 3 yrs now. We are both college graduates. I'm working before going to med school. He's getting ready for law school. One of the biggest problems in our relationship was...
A. 31 October 2015: I can't tell you why he is suddenly interested. To be honest I am more surprised about why he wasn't before. The only person who can answer that is him.
As to the second part of your question it is quite common for sex to be disappointing the firs... (read in full...)
Physician's assistant - any suggestions on how to handle the gruelling demands of this work?
Q. Hey all! I'm quite confused about making career choices and really need some advice. I want to become a Physician Assistant with a focus in Psychology. It took me some time to figure it out but that's where I'd like to go. I enjoy helping pe...
A. 30 October 2015: If you want to be a paramedic you have to accept what goes with it. In return you get a stable job, a reasonable wage, a certain respect from the community, and the all-important 'job satisfaction'.
Sorry but you can't cherry pick.
If you think it... (read in full...)
Slam bam thank you ma'am is all I get!
Q. Hi everyone! I've been with my boyfriend for around 5 months, we've been great, had various issues which soon got resolved. When we first got together we had sex constantly, he would always perform oral sex and we'd have an amazing time, but over ...
A. 30 October 2015: You could withhold your sexual favours, but I think on its own that will lead to you breaking up and, you say you love him. So, that probably isn't the out come you want.
This situation needs careful handling in a way which will bring you the outc... (read in full...)
Slam bam thank you ma'am is all I get!
Q. Hi everyone! I've been with my boyfriend for around 5 months, we've been great, had various issues which soon got resolved. When we first got together we had sex constantly, he would always perform oral sex and we'd have an amazing time, but over ...
A. 30 October 2015: What did he say when you put your side of the problem to him? Work can make people too tired to be romantic. People also get bored with the same old', but it sounds like you were willing to spice it up to make a difference.
In the meantime you migh... (read in full...)
I thought we were cool but he's went MIA, what went wrong?
Q. Me and this guy have been going to the same uni for the past three years and have mutual friends. So mutual that he hangs out with a guy I was heavily involved with. We hit it off recently. We spoke everyday non stop for a good month and a half...
A. 30 October 2015: Is it wrong to ring someone or even txt them and ask them if they would like to meet for a drink? No.
You have the, 'Does he? Doesn't he? jitters. If you don't want to wait around biting your fingernails then take action.
'Be bloody bold and reso... (read in full...)
How to honor my parents, without shaming his?
Q. Hi, Aunts and Uncles. My fiance and I are tying the knot this January in Las Vegas. We've been engaged for years, but have put off getting married because, like everyone else, we've been struggling a lot financially. Knowing how badly we wanted t...
A. 29 October 2015: The answer is you can't. You need another plan. Your wedding is not about money or anyone's ability to pay anyway. Who can say which parents care the most? Who can say what has been involved in your and his' upbringing. The journeys for you both ... (read in full...)
Should I go out on the date with second guy? I like them both!
Q. Hi I could use some help please, So basically I recently moved schools in the last 2 weeks and meet this guy and we've been talking he's totally in love with me and I dunno how I feel back I want to go on a date and meet up with him before I think ...
A. 29 October 2015: There's going to be trouble. At your age you can play the field but not two at the same time. Not only do the boys get upset when they find out, but it won't do your rep' much good.
You will find your love life much smoother if you take it one at a... (read in full...)
Should I stick by Him? Despite the rumours about him?
Q. Basically, there's a guy who I started recently seeing, what it is , is that we live in a small town so everyone knows each other business. Recently some rumours about him have come out such as he's been married a few times, controlling person a...
A. 29 October 2015: I think it is important to know from where the information about him is coming. You need a reliable source. Rumours can be started be jealous ex's and their friends to poison the water.
Just protect yourself until you know what is what, and don'... (read in full...)
After a six year relationship, how do I get over this breakup?
Q. I posted something a while back regarding my long time girlfriend wanting to "move on" so to speak. When we first met she was getting out of marriage, separated, and filed for divorce. Since we started out as lovers, our relationship never followed ...
A. 28 October 2015: I really feel for you It's a shitty place to be in. Break ups can be worse than bereavement because the other person is still alive. You tend to imagine what a good time they are having while you are left languishing at home.
Well, start look... (read in full...)
The relationship is falling apart and I just feel that I was right all along
Q. This feels so tiring and I feel I have no strength to even carry on writing.. Some months back I wrote about my current long distance relationship. He, a soldier far abroad, .. I need the real talk here, as if you guys were my friends in real lif...
A. 28 October 2015: I take a different view to the anonymous male who answered above. While he is right that the pictures could be friends or family, I think your gut feeling is right.
He is clearly narcissistic with his huge female fan base. Why does he need that... (read in full...)
How on earth do I bring this crush under control?
Q. I am obsessed with my uni lecturer! Infatuated, and cannot stop thinking about him! This is very embarrassing for me to admit because I am almost 30 and have been in a relationship for 9 years. I am sure my lecturer must realise how I feel...
A. 28 October 2015: You are creating a rosy fiction in your head. It's a little play about perfection. Now just try turning this on it's head.
Add some realism: his breath smells awful; he has a fungal nail infection; he makes smelly farts, but uses too much afte... (read in full...)
Is it possible to loose your virginity to someone without being emotionally attached?
Q. Hi, im 18 a virgin ,by choice, but i met this guy im thinking of loosing it to, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship but stills wants to have sex. on one hand im thinking to do it because i know the sex would be AMAZING so i would have a ...
A. 27 October 2015: I think you are a mug if you let yourself be deflowered by an older man who offers you nothing in return except perhaps an STD.
Get your head on straight and find someone who loves you.... (read in full...)
How do you cope with the social pressure to get a girlfriend?
Q. I'm 27 and haven't been in a relationship. Although, I'm average looking enough that I probably could be if I wanted to. But more and more people around will tell me to get into a relationship: my parents, my siblings, and my friends. I don't re...
A. 27 October 2015: If you aren't into dating then you aren't into it. You shouldn't have to fake emotions to satisfy your family.
Be comfortable with whom you are.
As they sometimes say: "You might as well be who you are because everybody else is taken."... (read in full...)
How to date an awkward person. Any advice?
Q. Hi, So I'm talking to a guy who is very sweet and we both really like each other. However, he's very awkward. Even with his close friends he's still sort of reserved. He laughs and talks with them but there's still shyness with friends he's ...
A. 23 October 2015: When I was your age it used to work by using a go between. A friend would ask one of his friends if he was interested. If he was the next thing would be a not exchanged. Then you might meet up on a Saturday or perhaps after school somewhere for a ... (read in full...)
Why does he prefer to masturbate than have sexual things with me?
Q. Why does he prefer to masturbate than have sexual things with me? I know it's natural for everyone but it makes me feel rejected because then hw doesn't want anything from me. It makes me feel sick. I don't want to feel bad about him doing it. What ...
A. 22 October 2015: There are a couple of factors here. First you have to realise that masturbation for men and women is different. Men are usually looking for a quick release. This may not be the case with women. So, he may be wanting to satisfy his hormonal demands ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated on me and I'm not sure if I should have children or even stay in this marriage
Q. My husband and I got married 5 years ago. We rushed into marriage after a year of LDR, during which I found out he had a 3 year old kid with somebody else. I believed him telling me he had no relationship with the mother of his child (Ana). A couple ...
A. 21 October 2015: It sounds like there is a lot of stuff to work through and I would suggest marriage guidance counselling for you both. You need a neutral forum in which you can both express your desires and your hurts.
I think it would be helpful to have a prof... (read in full...)
Opened up to him about my vulnerabilities about having sex and now he says he might leave me!
Q. Hi! I have been here before but it was now some time ago. I met a very nice man about 2 years ago and things went fine for quite some time but then I started not wanting to have sex, even feeling very bad about having it. This had happened in ...
A. 18 October 2015: Well, what have you done to fix this? It is unfair to make him live like a monk if you aren't doing anything to alleviate the problem.
You could start with your family doctor. You could consider counselling. There must be all manner of avenues to e... (read in full...)
My brother uses my depression against me when it is convenient for him!
Q. I am having an issue with my brother. We currently live together, and cannot move out due to various familial reasons. He does not do his share of the housework, and I am constantly picking up after him. The most common offences are leaving food out ...
A. 18 October 2015: I think you need to explain more about the 'familial reasons' which keep you living in each other's space.
In order to create harmony you either have to add a note or take one away.
In this case the easiest thing would be to take yourself out of t... (read in full...)
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