How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 6 September 2015: Look to the future, and not to the past. Life has many good things in store for you. Take joy in small things. Write down 10 things a day in a notebook that give you pleasure. ... (read in full...)
How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 4 September 2015: I honestly don't know why you posted this question. It's fairly obvious that you ignore someone that you don't want to see. Are you feeling insecure?
It doesn't seem like he has done anything very bad to you.
He made friends with you. He finished... (read in full...)
Should we postpone our wedding until we have a house?
Q. Hi, I have applied for a house with my boyfriend which is supposed to be completed in 2018. However, since we are both 30 this year, we thought of the idea of getting married first and living separately until our house comes. Another option i...
A. 4 September 2015: The idea of marrying and immediately living apart seems ridiculous to me. Why don't you make do with a bedsit, or a small flat until the house is ready?
And while living with inlaws may not be ideal, it's not forever. Plenty of others have mana... (read in full...)
I don't want to be bitchy over this. Any advice on how to handle this please?
Q. I messed up things with my boyfriend and did something wrong for which he dumped me. I am really sorry about it but he will not stop getting angry with me and texting me horrible things. We had a week long argument which resulted in him sa...
A. 3 September 2015: This sounds like you need to walk away. It's too heated. It doesn't seem like you two are a perfect fit.... (read in full...)
I'm 26 with a baby, in love with a man in his late 40s' but no one seems to think its a good idea
Q. I am now in a relationship with a man in his late 40s. I met him through his work. Even then before I was with him he gave me butterfly's and he liked me back, which he never hid. We have been together 5months now and I really am falling for him. ...
A. 3 September 2015: People are being protective on your account and that's good, but unless they come up with some facts about why he isn't right for you then follow your heart.
If it goes wrong then you have to live with it - but it might just be everything you want... (read in full...)
If your partner cheated, would you want to know?
Q. I've been on this site for a while and I'm horrified at the number if times cheaters have been told to keep quiet about the affair or the kiss 'to spare the partner's feelings'. If my partner cheated on me I would want to know. If he cheated and t...
A. 3 September 2015: The answer depends so much on the situation. While honesty is often deemed the best policy, I can imagine a situation in which years of a happy relationship could be put at risk, possibly including children, because someone wanted a little bit of ... (read in full...)
Why did he lie about my singing? Should I raise this with him, or drop it?
Q. I was wondering if I should be upset or just let it go. My husband and I were at a birthday party dinner for one of his friends that I have only met once so I knew no one at this party. I fell easily into conversation with a women at the din...
A. 2 September 2015: I have heard this kind of thing before. My sister's husband said, offhandedly to their children, "You know what your mother is like with blood", meaning she was hopeless.
Somehow he seemed to have forgotten that she is a nurse working in the dial... (read in full...)
Do possessive relationships last? Should I mention my concerns to her?
Q. Hi - a female friend of mine has just got into a relationship with a man who pays her a lot of attention, says he loves her and makes her feel good. Sounds great doesn't it?!!! However, I have found out from her that before they got together off...
A. 1 September 2015: It's nice that you are looking out for your friend, but in the end it's her business and not yours. You can only be around if needed to pick up pieces if it goes wrong. We all have to learn our own lessons in life.... (read in full...)
How do I get over this really strong crush?
Q. Please tell me if this doesn't make sense to you - it's just really hard to put into words. So I have this friend on Facebook that I've seemed to have developed a crush on. We'd occasionally share likes and comments on each others posts and when t...
A. 1 September 2015: Stay away from social media. It's as simple as that. Try and have a real relationship with a real person.
Sometimes you have to take a chance on talking to someone, or joining a club where you can meet people. It needn't be a dating club. Prob... (read in full...)
Friends to keep, or not keep? Should I just back away?
Q. I thank GOD that I have you guys to go to.i have gotten good advice before and need help again,i have been friends with a woman from school days back in the 70's she is a very soft hearted person. Her husband is very controlling,and she loves hi...
A. 1 September 2015: It's really her decision whether she wants to talk to you or not. It's her relationship that might be at risk not yours. So, my advice would be to let her initiate contact with you. Then, how can you be at fault - she contacted you.... (read in full...)
How can I make her really mine? I know she is attracted to me
Q. I met her in high school, and we have been friends ever since. I have told her I love her and she has told me she loves me too. I have distanced myself but she has gone out of the way to make me come back to her. Our boyfriends have been suspicious ...
A. 31 August 2015: What do you mean, 'Really make her mine'? You don't own people. If you just want to cement your relationship, I think you are already on the right path. Follow your instincts.
She must be at least bisexual or you wouldn't be having the intimacy you ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and online dating. He's 2-3 years older. What did his weird remark about me mean?
Q. Hi guys. Just wanna ask your opinions too. I've met this guy about 2-3 years older than me and we're texting and stuff and we're just friends. He's really nice. We are also on the same chat site But the thing is we don't talk that often, let...
A. 31 August 2015: Sounds weird to me too. My advice would be don't meet in real life. In the future get out of online sites and find a real person to have real adventures with in real time.... (read in full...)
Is working on these two commercials together ruining our relationship?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for two years. He is a film major and I am in art school. This year, my uncle offered us a job doing 2 commercials for a product. its been going poorly and ruining our relationship. My boyfriend feels as if he i...
A. 31 August 2015: I disagree with previous submissions that you shouldn't take on jobs for which you aren't qualified. In fact you should always challenge yourself in artistic work. You should always be working outside your comfort zone. That's how you progress.If ... (read in full...)
Can our LDR survive if we're not able to meet face to face until 4-5 months time?
Q. I joined an online dating site a few months ago. The first thing you need to know is that I'm currently living abroad. When I joined the site, my plan was to move back to the U.S. At the beginning of next year. But, things have happened since t...
A. 31 August 2015: Well let's get real. You haven't got a date, you've got a pen pal. Take it for what it is, and, who knows what may occur in the future?
If you haven't even met face to face it's simply not the same as a couple with a well established rela... (read in full...)
Paying on a date. Am I making this too big of a deal?
Q. Am I making this too big of a deal? I have been seeing one guy for about 3 weeks now. Everything is good and I really love to be with him, he wants to be with me, we have fun together and everything is easy and we just click. He is very caring...
A. 31 August 2015: This seems a tiny point on which to raise a post on this site. Is it the only thing bothering you? It could have been an oversight. He could have been distracted and just paid for his own.
There are all manner of reasons why this didn't go the way ... (read in full...)
I keep having sexual dreams about this girl!
Q. I like this girl. I keep having sexual dreams about her. She had sex with 1 girl in a 3 some once but I want to have sex with her. I initiate the words, we've kissed but I think she's scared or just doesn't want to with a girl because I know she's ...
A. 30 August 2015: Unrequited love can be so very painful. The best way out is to gently ask, 'Could you ever fancy a date with someone like me'? Although she might say no at first, give her time to consider your offer. Feint heart never won fair lady.... (read in full...)
Why would he come to be with me and then give up so easily?
Q. I am 34yr old, I have 2 kids (11yr old boy and 4 yr old boy). For the first 9 years, I lived alone with the kids, at my parents for 5 and 4 in my own apt. At no time, did I request child support through the courts. My bf never had to watch our first ...
A. 30 August 2015: If you just called it a day and changed the locks could it be any worse? Sometimes you need to get rid of stuff to let other, better things come into your life.
If nothing else, the shock might cause him to reflect on your understandable conc... (read in full...)
After 8 months together does my LDR really know me or care about me?
Q. Hello. I have been seeing a guy in a LDR for eight months. We see each other every other fortnight and talk about three times a week too. Although we have good times together, and he tells my he loves me, I often feel something is mis...
A. 30 August 2015: The importance of eye colour is immaterial. I personally concentrate on a person's expression not their eye colour. While it may seem an important indicator to you, it really isn't a deal breaker.
I, for example, can't be sure of the colour of my d... (read in full...)
I don't like the way my ex and I fell out. I want to talk to him but I don't think he will allow it
Q. Hi - I have made a bad situation with my ex even worse - how do I stop feeling like it's one big car crash? I know you guys will probably tell me to move on etc - and I am over my ex really - it's just I don't like the way we fell out. First of ...
A. 30 August 2015: Time heals all wounds. In the meantime you could try putting your thoughts and explanations in a letter to him. ... (read in full...)
Is working on these two commercials together ruining our relationship?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for two years. He is a film major and I am in art school. This year, my uncle offered us a job doing 2 commercials for a product. its been going poorly and ruining our relationship. My boyfriend feels as if he i...
A. 30 August 2015: I think someone once said it is better to make a friend out of a business partner than a business partner out of a friend, and for the very reasons you are experiencing. In work relationships you have to agree to defer to each other in certain ... (read in full...)
After 8 months together does my LDR really know me or care about me?
Q. Hello. I have been seeing a guy in a LDR for eight months. We see each other every other fortnight and talk about three times a week too. Although we have good times together, and he tells my he loves me, I often feel something is mis...
A. 30 August 2015: How long do you see this relationship going on in its present form? Surely you must have some long-term plan to be together?
If not, just take it for what it is - and I think you have to be completely honest with yourself about that.
Long-... (read in full...)
How do I compete with the army?
Q. My boyfriend said one day out of the blue he wants to join the armed forces, he needs to started training for it and cant be talking all the time. Since then its felt like I'm no longer a priority to him, all the things he used to do or say he ...
A. 30 August 2015: I think you need to take a step back. If you smother the guy it will just push him further away. There has to be room in his life for more than you. And you have to have things in your life other than him. That way you can both bring interest to the ... (read in full...)
Do I get back with my ex? My current g/f is away for six months!
Q. I had a bad break up with my ex 5 years back we were dating 6 years. She had my baby and gave me a choice my new girlfriend or her and the baby. I chose my girlfriend. 5 years have past and now my ex is sending me pics of my child telling me all ...
A. 26 August 2015: Surely you have a responsibility to your child? Your progeny deserves to know his father. Are you offering any financial support?
And yes of course you should tell your girlfriend? Come on! Man up. If it is your baby then it is half your duty to s... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got angry and kicked me in the butt, will the violence escalate?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 20+ years. When we fight, which is not very often, she sometimes gets a bit physical, but I haven't until now. The other day I got mad over something stupid-- she had unplugged the alarm clock to plug in her phon...
A. 18 August 2015: Which way do you want the relationship to go? Set out some rules on behaviour if punching is not acceptable. Also set out what will happen if the rules are broken. That way everyone understand the boundaries.... (read in full...)
Do you think I am right to look for another job, or am I just panicking because other areas of my life are advancing quickly and I feel like my job doesn't match up?
Q. So this is a little different to my normal questions. I am 28 and currently work as an assistant teacher, I have been working as this for 2 years. I have pushed to better myself all my life but have come across barriers due to finances, limitat...
A. 18 August 2015: You are right to look for another job. Teaching isn't for everyone. It's demanding and can suck you dry. Changing jobs isn't failing.... (read in full...)
My ex wants to try again but she broke things off and I'm afraid of being hurt
Q. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, honestly I'm unsure about where I should go from here, my girlfriend and I were together over a year and it was great, there were no signs of any problems. She went away for a couple of weeks and then came ...
A. 18 August 2015: Only you can know if it is worth continuing. Heartache is part of life. If you try and shield yourself from it you will be a lesser person. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a second helping from the same person.
Perhaps you need a li... (read in full...)
I broke up my marriage via text, how to pick up the pieces and what to do from here?
Q. I just ended our marriage over the stupidest of things. I was out all day celebrating my moms birthday with my second son. I camme home at 730 to find my dh w a friend over, our kids dirty from playing outside, not bathed or fed dinner and a mess in ...
A. 16 August 2015: I think it would be OK to apologise for losing your temper. That doesn't mean you are backing down on the causes.
It might also be time to have a grown-up conversation about both your roles as a parents and home-makers.
If you can talk sensibly... (read in full...)
He wants a divorce, my life is spiralling out of control
Q. 2 weeks ago, my husband of 7 years sat me down and told me he wants a divorce. After the past 2 weeks of many talks with each other and thinking things through, we have decided/agreed to get one. In a nut shell and without going into too much de...
A. 16 August 2015: Have you considered marriage counselling? Whatever it was that brought you two to the altar must have been more than physicality?
If a divorce does go ahead, you might still benefit from a counsellor to get you through it.
I won't kid you. It ... (read in full...)
I don't feel special anymore ever since boyfriend and I have been talking about threesomes
Q. Really need a lot of advice as there is no one I can talk to about this! My bf and I are happy and together 2yrs. We have a very active and great sex life. The best either of us experienced. We regularly do kinky stufr or I dress up etc. My bf has ...
A. 13 August 2015: In these situations the man often sees himself in the dominant role with the women servicing him. If you were to be more attracted to the other female, and he was sidelined it might be another matter - unless of course he's a voyeur.
This is your... (read in full...)
How do I deal with someone who wants to make it clear their upset but I'm always in the wrong whichever way I approach it or ignore it
Q. I'm having a hard time getting my boyfriend to communicate with me. He never tells me what's wrong but shows that there clearly is something. Everything could be fine then a little later he can just turn on me and start speaking to me differentl...
A. 13 August 2015: Communication is a vital part of a relationship. Too many things in life go wrong because a person imagines, or has to imagine what the other is thinking. It's impossible. We don't have a degree in crystal-ball-reading.
Say, 'I want to have an adul... (read in full...)
Should I continue ignoring her or should I explain her that I'm not in for it?
Q. hi cupid, I am in a sort of a dilemma here. Well, there is a lass that I know around my campus for over two years and about two months ago, we started talking more over social media (whatsapp,facebook etc). I always felt that she really liked me...
A. 12 August 2015: It is always better to say it. People can't imagine your thoughts. They might have a guess, but that's all it will be. No matter how hard, everyone will always thank you for being straightforward.... (read in full...)
Should I not initiate contact and just wait to see if my old FWB will say how he feels?
Q. Hi I met man four years ago and it became clear he wanted a Fwb thing, I initially thought okay but then got feelings for him and told him couldn't do it anymore. We stayed in touch and nit long ago he asked me out, I saw him five times in a ...
A. 12 August 2015: This is difficult because it has bearing on your own morality, and attitudes to sex and relationships.
If he continues to want a relationship without commitment are you OK with that?
Will you be hurt if he suddenly finds true love with someone ... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to move on, despite realizing that he never really loved me?
Q. I don't know how to move on... Maybe I never will? We met senior year of HS and lasted a whole year until he cheated on me in college (we attended the same college). He is transferring. I can't move on. I have his snapchat password and I l...
A. 11 August 2015: There's nothing like the pain when your first love ends. In time it will be a beautiful, perhaps mournful memory. We all have them, and most of them will be cherished.
Take your time - wash around in it for a while - read poetry, go for long soli... (read in full...)
I'm not funny, are girls put off by guys like me?
Q. Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life of the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor. I'll n...
A. 11 August 2015: Are you equating no sense of humour with not being able to get into a relationship with a woman? Perhaps there are other reasons you aren't doing well.
I have always found that honesty and sincerity are attributes that go down well with the oppo... (read in full...)
How can I get a date or even just talk to the guy outside work?
Q. I have saw the guy that i liked so much when i was younger and still like today i always have. It was sometime last year and when i wanted to talk to him i actually did with words coming out for a change lol. I found it really harder back then...
A. 11 August 2015: Try the magic phrase, 'Could you ever fancy meeting up for a coffee?'
It's as simple as that.... (read in full...)
I don't know how she really feels about me
Q. I have this friend I have a long on and off history with. We had some real rocky patches (Mainly attributed to my drug and alcohol problems apparently) and we ended up not talking for like 4 years. The not talking decision was mine and I ignored her ...
A. 11 August 2015: My instinct is that you need to walk away from this. It could be a her and her friends having a laugh to mess you about. This is one of the problems with conducting half your relationship online. What's more, humour travels poorly on the internet so ... (read in full...)
One year and I still think of him. Does it get easier?
Q. It's been one year now and I still think of him. I tried to keep myself busy most of the time; I have read a lot how to get rid of infatuation( if you call this infatuation) and I understand it takes time to heal. It is less painful and less ...
A. 17 July 2015: Follow your heart. What's the Mark Twain quote about regretting things you didn't do, more than things you did?... (read in full...)
Should I tell him that I was a virgin when we met?
Q. I've been seeing this guy now for some time. We've had sex, and I enjoy it but I've been harbouring this little secret since our first time. He has no idea that I was a virgin before I met him. It's been about three months now and it's not ...
A. 17 July 2015: You should wait until your relationship becomes established, otherwise he might see it as you imposing some sort of tie on him - even if you are not.
Later it might seem a nice little gift to give him if things are going well.... (read in full...)
How often should adults see their friends ?
Q. How often should adults see their friends? Especially people over 35 ? Most people are busy with family, work, hobbies etc , life! Not not everyone has kids, some do,some dont.. I read somewhere to maintntain good mental health a person shou...
A. 11 March 2015: I think the problem is that you need to get more in your own life atm. Sitting around in 'Central Perk' with all our buddies is the exception not the rule.
If you fill your life with new interests and hobbies you will make new friends and also have... (read in full...)
We want to get my parent's permission to marry but don't know how to do it
Q. I'm from Malaysia, 25 th years old and from indian family. I has a Sikh boyfriend for 6 years, he didn't gets a chance to tell his parents because he was afraid they would not accept our relationship because the different religion and he was ...
A. 11 March 2015: He needs to man-up and face his parents. What's the worst that can happen? If they disinherit him he still has the prize - you!
When there is a difference in culture or religion it may often bring up differences but nothing trumps love.
If he is to... (read in full...)
Why do girls avoid eye contact with me? What do I need to keep in mind when trying to connect with girls?
Q. Every time I'm in the mall or any other public place girls will avoid looking at me. I'm NOT ugly at all and it's not because they're shy because even outgoing loud girls don't look at me. I really get the feeling I creep them out or something...
A. 11 March 2015: Do you guys think there is a problem with the way I come off in public? - well yes. If you stare at anybody they won't react well. There is a difference between smiling at someone in the street and giving them a hard stare. It sounds like you are a ... (read in full...)
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