A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very upset with my boyfriend right now. He is on his way back from visiting family in Florida. His plane was supposed to be leaving today. I know this because he told me that his return date is December 2nd. But I do not know the departure time. My boyfriend has kept in touch throughout the trip albeit short because he was with family and I understand. So I did not bombard him with calls or messages and was respectful of his family time. But he said he missed me and couldn't wait to come home to me. He even contacted me yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. He told me before he left he wanted to buy me a special present while he was away. Well this morning I texted him to touch base as I knew today was the day he was leaving. I told him I was not sure when his flight was but wished him a safe trip and told him I couldn't wait to see him. I sent the text at around 8 a.m. So I was expecting a reply for him to tell me what time his flight was leaving. But here Inam writing this at 11 at night and there has still been no word from him.I am under the impression his flight left late tonight as when he goes there he often books late flights when he comes home. But my boyfriend usually texts me from the airport before boarding the plane telling me when his flight arrives and that he can't wait to see me and makes plans to see me. He did not do that this time. He did not text from the airport, answer my text from this morning or let me know his flight details. All of this is not like him. And now I am just going to worry all night. That maybe he does not want to be with me anymore. But what I really don't get is why was he in touch the whole trip, told me he missed me and wished I could have been with him and contacted me to wish me happy birthday yesterday to totally ignoring me today? He could be on a plane but how would I know? It just all seems so weird.Can anyone help me make sense of this? Provide some logic? Because I am much too emotional about it. I did send him a text late tonight just saying hi and telling him I was a little surprised that he did not let me know when his flight was leaving or respond to my text from this morning. Just wanted to know when he would be back.I am feeling paranoid now he is going to come back and leave me. There is no worse feeling on earth than to have to endure those kinds of thoughts.So anyone have some wisdom for me? Can anyone help calm me down?Was my boyfriend being thoughtless it was I expecting too much?And how should I handle this going forward?Thanks for your help. It will mean a lot.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 December 2015):
 I don't think he would say I miss you and can't wait to get home to you, IF his plan was to dump you or vanish from your life.
WHEN he gets home just tell him (gently, no drama) that you REALLY like to know (in the future) either what flight he is on or time of arrival, that it makes you feel calmer knowing. And that you appropriated when he did it in the past. I don't think it's really "thoughtless" of him, but if it's something you LIKE for him to do, mention it.
No need to paint doom and gloom on the wall over him not giving you a full itinerary.
His phone could have died, he could have been super tired - facts are... he was on his way home, he wasn't trying to make you feel bad.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (3 December 2015):
 Cut the guy some slack. You are reading far too much into this. He surely doesn't have to report in to you all the time does he?
In life what you expect of people isn't always what you get, and the reasons you don't get what you expect aren't always for the reasons you imagine.
You are engaging in bad thought patterns. Things aren't all black or white nor is disaster on every horizon.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2015):
 Try to call him. If the phone is dead/off then you'll get the answering machine right away. If it rings, well then you'll have the chance to ask him whats up and when he will be home.
BTW, there are so many feelings that are worse than this one. Count yourself lucky you haven't had to experience them yet.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 December 2015):
Im guessing, if he normally texts/calls you to inform about when the flights is etc. then there is a reason why he didn't do it this time. My guess is (as the easiest guess is regularly the correct one), is that his phone died.
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