A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can second chance relationships work? When I was 18 I met my ex boyfriend who I was instantly attracted too and within weeks we were together. It happened really fast and within 5 months we were engaged and he had moved into my parents house. People tried to tell us to slow down but we didn't listen. We decided to have a baby and after 3 heartbreaking miscarriages, we ended up fighting all the time and after an explosive row, he left and the next day his brother came for his things and we didn't speak for almost 2 months after that. It didn't end great, but after a while we began to talk again and we actually became friends. By this time we were both 20 and we have been there for each other a lot. We have both had other relationships and we have both been there for each other when they ended. He even helped me out when I needed somewhere to stay when my last relationship broke down. I stayed with him for a few weeks and it wasn't awkward or anything. We would have dinner together, watch TV, the normal stuff a couple would do. When I got a room at my friends flat, I kept going around once a week to have dinner or to help him with the housework. Not because I felt like I had to or because he asked but because I wanted to go see him.I'm now 25 and he will be at the end of year. So much has passed since we broke up and we have a great friendship now. Recently things have started to change. Like he will hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek before I leave and as I arrive. We text each other good morning and good night. He is always there to pick me up from work, despite me telling him he doesn't need to. He has asked me to go to his works Christmas party and I invited him to my mums Christmas eve party which she has every year. Things have started to get flirty between us as well.It's not at all that I mind. I like it. I really do. I still find him attractive, I never stopped and I never stopped loving him. He was my first love and I was his. We went through a lot together and we will always have that. I'm about 99% sure he was a relationship like I do, but I'm so worried that it will ruin the friendship we have now. I'm not sure if I'd want to ruin it by taking a chance. Whereas last time we were engaged, living together and trying for a baby within 7 months after meeting and just aged 18, we are now in our mid 20's, have know each other over 7 years and for the past 5 of those years, have been great friends. So surely we stand a better chance now?Have any of you guys had a second chance relationship and it work out? Or is it stupid to go there?
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broke up, christmas, engaged, flirt, moved in, my ex, text, trying for a baby Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (29 November 2015):
 You appear to be already getting back together so all I can suggest is that you think carefully about what broke you up before, and take care to avoid any similar happenings.
It must have been quite serious if you couldn't make up the next day, particularly after wanting children together. Supposing the young ones had already arrived?
If you do get back together, as I assume you will, why not put children on hold for a couple of years to see how you are getting along? It's a terrible thing for children to be in the middle of a break up. It's also true that sometimes couples think they can glue a relationship together by have a family. It doesn't work.
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