The man that I am dating doesn't know how to tell his lady friend about me
Q. Dear aunties and uncles I posted on here in June about a man I have been seeing: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-you-think-it-is-worth-me-continuing.html I am 55 and 4 months ago I met a man who is 60. 8 months before we met he had me...
A. 29 September 2015: Well of course he can back out of the events. What would happen if he got the flu?
You need to decide what you want. Are you prepared to fight for him or let him go? Do you want to take this arrangement to the next level.
Why don't you mention ... (read in full...)
I recently discovered that my husband had secretly taken nude photos of me while we had sex. How would you react
Q. Would you be a) be flattered and not let it bother you, b) be disgusted c) feel violated d) be angry and could never forgive him e) be confused f) wonder if he secretly takes pictures of other women in public unbeknownst to them g) be on edge if ...
A. 29 September 2015: I would find this intolerable if I were you. I would definitely want to have it out with him at the earliest opportunity. The fact that these pictures were taken covertly certainly violates your rights. And why were they taken, when he can enjo... (read in full...)
Is it too dangerous for me to be delivering pizza?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I would like the honest opinions if the people here on dearcupid. I am a 20 year old girl and a college student. I have been hired as a part time pizza delivery driver for a local pizza place. At fi...
A. 29 September 2015: I have no experience of pizza delivery so my advice is limited. I imagine working after dark increases the risk from felons. If you are on a motor scooter or similar you are also at risk from road accidents.
My best advice would be to do the trai... (read in full...)
I realize we aren't compatible but feel obligated to stay with her. What shall I do?
Q. Dear everyone I started to date a girl about 6 months ago and we started a relationship. We both knew it would become long distance but we both accepted it and said we'd give it a go, but we both understood they often don't work out. we accepted...
A. 27 September 2015: Honeypie has it absolutely right. Using, 'Poor me', is a way to exercise control over someone - in this case you. There are health professionals trained to help her. She needs to consult them. You cannot be her crutch.
Sometimes you have to be crue... (read in full...)
My love for this guy wont help me move on
Q. hi, I really need some advice im a 17 year old girl and I am studying drama at a inclusive theatre I have been in love with this guy for 9 years the problem is he has aspergers and its not a particular problem for me but I really want to be with him ...
A. 27 September 2015: Perhaps you could tell us a little more about the problem. You have been friends with someone since you were 8 years old.
The story you told yourself then about living happily ever after with him can be rewritten.
But you really haven't said eno... (read in full...)
What can I do? I'm bored with the lifestyle my boyfriend wants to live
Q. Hi there :) So I've been with my boyfriend for over five years, half of which time he was in the military and we had a long distanced relationship. We both worked hard on our relationship, spending time together when he was home, and our plan was ...
A. 26 September 2015: First, I would like to hear that you have your own interests. Doing some things separately strengthens a relationship because you bring something from outside into it. You should have clubs, societies, interests, hobbies that you do on your own. So ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make sure things will lead to a successful reconciliation?
Q. Hey Guys, I'm in a bit of a icky situation and I would love to find a way to successfully reconcile with my ex girlfriend. Anyway this girl has been my best-friend for 4 years and a lover for just over 2 years and the reason why we broke up was that ...
A. 26 September 2015: Sorry but I don't see this working out for you. I think you are getting the slow let down.
All you can do is back off, and let her come to you if she wants to. Your apparent disinterest might just be the tactic to lure her back.
Somet... (read in full...)
How do I approach the subject of looking after my sisters to my fiance?
Q. Since I was 19 I have been the sole guardian for my younger sisters due to our mother passing away and their father is no longer around. They were 4 and 8 at the time of her death and wanted to stay with me in our family home and our relatives ...
A. 26 September 2015: Your new man sounds like a good fit for you. He also has a young sister so he understands the deep ties and responsibilities the can exist.
I think you can become a wonderful nuclear family, with your sisters gaining an extra sister.
This might ne... (read in full...)
I tricked my boyfriend because I wanted to know if I could trust him and he failed!
Q. i made a fake profile to test if i can trust my boyfriend, i added and chat with him and ask if he had a girlfriend and he says yes, but the next day i ask him to meet up at a private place and he agrees. after i confronted him he said he's sorry ...
A. 26 September 2015: You set the bar so very low. You seem to think that a world in which partners routinely cheat or are 'bad' to each other is normal. This generally isn't so in northern Europe. I suspect it is also frowned on in USA.
I asked before and I put the ques... (read in full...)
One date, one week later and haven't heard anything. Did I ruin things?
Q. So here's how the story goes I met a guy recently who happens to be a pro athlete. We were friends via social media after a mutual friend suggested we follow each other. One year later he liked some of my posts and I reached out. Since then we'...
A. 25 September 2015: I think you have done all you can. Perhaps the spark just wasn't there for him. I think the ball is firmly in his court. Just carry on with you life and see what happens, but don't sit around waiting by the phone.... (read in full...)
I'm 30 and still not married, I'm starting to feel anxious
Q. I am a 30 yr old woman who is not married and I'm staring to get a little anxious. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life and without going into detail, they just didn't work out. I have now been single for a little over a year. I know...
A. 25 September 2015: I'm sorry your previous relationships didn't work out. Do you know what went wrong?
Don't worry though. Mr Right is probably in the wings waiting. You are right not to rush into things. It is also true that women are often having their chil... (read in full...)
I tricked my boyfriend because I wanted to know if I could trust him and he failed!
Q. i made a fake profile to test if i can trust my boyfriend, i added and chat with him and ask if he had a girlfriend and he says yes, but the next day i ask him to meet up at a private place and he agrees. after i confronted him he said he's sorry ...
A. 25 September 2015: What did you imagine you would do if you caught him out? You wanted to know, and now you do. I imagine you already had your suspicions which is why you tested him.
No-one makes a person be unfaithful. It is already in their head before it happ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to really stand up for myself?
Q. I often let people run over me and talk to me any kind of way. Especially ones that are not my family. It's like my mind goes blank and I don't know what to say. It's like my mind runs scared. But I get disrespected to the point to where I want ...
A. 24 September 2015: You can take self-assertiveness classes - there might be self help information online too.
Are you worthless? Or, are you somebody who deserves respect. If so memorise a few comeback lines so that if you need a quick retort you don't have to thin... (read in full...)
He complains about being bored and he's rude. Should continue seeing him or just leave?
Q. Please correct me if I am wrong!but I am really mad at a guy I am seeing for a little over a month. So on our last date(which was yesterday) he called me over to his place and no we did not even kiss it was us just hanging out and having dinner,b...
A. 24 September 2015: Have some self respect. If you start by letting someone treat you like that it will never change.
He sounds like a spoilt brat who has had too many toys. You could just be another one of them.... (read in full...)
Is she seeing other guys? Hate the uncertainty. Could I have competition?
Q. For the first time ever I feel I might have made a connection with someone I met online, but I can't help but think she's seeing other guys whilst she's texting/chatting with me. I noticed she's registered on multiple dating sites as well. ...
A. 20 September 2015: It is better to know now, isn't it? You just haven't plucked up courage to put it in a question. And if she is registered on multiple sites, of course you have competition. But the one who comes good might be you. You need to be brave and go for... (read in full...)
Should my Gf and I wait until we are married before we have sex? Don't want any unplanned pregnancy or any STD
Q. Hi, Im a 22yr old guy, looking for answers whether should I wait until marriage to have sex. Well, my 21yr old girlfriend and I are together for 3yrs already. We always maintained a platonic relationship until recently, where we had become more ...
A. 20 September 2015: What would be normal in your culture? In the west sex before marriage is quite normal. And this is not a new thing. Of course the other answer is to get married now. You could perhaps have a small private ceremony, and later on have a bigger o... (read in full...)
How do I give him the hint that I'd like to see him alone?
Q. Hi I went on the date with a guy and he got quite drunk, however we did have a nice little kiss which was lovely. But I really want to see him again, but just us two rather than having other friends around us. He keeps sending me messages on fb so...
A. 19 September 2015: I'm not sure what you are really after when you say you want to meet him alone? If it's getting to know someone, then over a meal is as good as anything. Take the initiative. Send a txt and ask him if he likes pizza. Then meet at you favourite pizza ... (read in full...)
He evaded answering my question. Should I confront him or ignore him?
Q. Hiya I have been seeing a guy for a few months and all has been going really well, and always tells me how much he likes me and how much fun he has with me. We haven't yet been physical and I want to wait until I am sure of him. We only se...
A. 19 September 2015: In my opinion a relationship, which it sounds like you wish to build, starts with the four musketeers: honesty, trust, love, and respect.
I think you need to let this one go.
If he is really interested he will ask why you aren't availabl... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me and if so what way
Q. So I started to like this guy on Twitter I'm a bi not out guy and his gay. I instantly liked him and tried to make conversation every time he tweeted. Turns out we have a lot in common. I do really like him but I'm unsure if he likes me we've o...
A. 19 September 2015: Don't you think you are jumping the gun? You say: "I'm unsure if he likes me we've only been talking for a few days."
Just cool your jets my friend. Play the long game.
... (read in full...)
First date jitters!
Q. Hi I'm going bowling with a guy- it's the first time we will be meeting each other (just us and nobody else). I'm really nervous- how do I calm my nerves- do I tell him I'm a bit nervous? Also with paying do I offer to pay? Any advice is app...
A. 19 September 2015: Yes of course you can offer to pay, but don't get in a fight over it. More importantly, have some plan for after the bowling. Will you go for something to eat? Will you go for a drink? Will you just go home? Work out how you would like the evening ... (read in full...)
How can I hang in this relationship any longer?
Q. I dont know where to begin but i am in a relationship that has to end. It's horrible. I have never been so unhappy and so alone. I often find myself wondering about my exboyfriend. Ive been in this current relationship for 5 uears now. The more ...
A. 17 September 2015: Wondering what might have been will get you nowhere. What you must do now is end this relationship. If you are renting you can find somewhere else, that is if he won't move out.
Get a grip on your life and you will feel much better. Don't be a door... (read in full...)
My ex has confused me. Why would he block me? Was he mad that I defriended him on FB?
Q. I would really appreciate it if I could get an outside perspective of this situation I'm going through. I'm really upset and don't understand what's wrong with this guy. I recently turned 20 and my ex is 21. I met him during the end of January (...
A. 17 September 2015: I don't think you are getting the message and I don't know why. This is a lost cause. And are you really that worried about being blocked on FB? You have to remember that most social media is the toilet wall of the internet.
When you say: "A few ... (read in full...)
We're both married but I want her in my life! How do I get her back?
Q. Hi Friends Really sad for me..... Both of us are married, she is 30 and I am 42. I met her few month back in her office. She is beautiful and nice. We start talking on phone and chat. But when she came to know my feelings through mail. She asked ...
A. 15 September 2015: Some people won't take no for an answer and it sounds like you are one of them.
It appears she has made it abundantly clear that she doesn't want to hear from you. No means no.
I'm sorry you are feeling the hurt of unrequited love, but it sounds l... (read in full...)
I like what I see but I don't want him to know that I'm paying attention
Q. Its this guy at work,he's handsome and im the kinda flirty type but I can't bring myself to say nothing to him,not only look his way,but u can talk and kid with every other guy but him.it seems as though he try to make sure that I see him everyday ...
A. 15 September 2015: I here what you say and I respect that - but are you being too cool for school :-)... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a difficult housemate and I don't know if I should move out or not.
Q. Around 9 months ago I received a facebook message from someone I've never met before and a friend request :" Hey man, how are you? You were proposed as a friend and I think I remember having you as a tinder match. ;) You seem like a nice person, so ...
A. 15 September 2015: You have only two choices: 1. Change the situation you are in or, 2. Take something out of the situation.... (read in full...)
Is he just making jokey conversation or is he expressing interest about wanting to talk about it more with the innuendo and winking?
Q. I am in my early 40s and on facebook the other day I messaged an old ex of mine who I am friends with on there. The comment was simply about spiders (as I hate them) and I remembered about staying at his house 20 years ago in his room and told him ...
A. 15 September 2015: He is probably just having fun the way people do. If there is more, let him make a move. Don't be desperate.... (read in full...)
I like what I see but I don't want him to know that I'm paying attention
Q. Its this guy at work,he's handsome and im the kinda flirty type but I can't bring myself to say nothing to him,not only look his way,but u can talk and kid with every other guy but him.it seems as though he try to make sure that I see him everyday ...
A. 15 September 2015: Those that don't ask, don't get.... (read in full...)
I love my partner but this is driving me away from him.
Q. Hi Can someone please give me some advice. I was in hospital a few months ago due to a breakdown from extreme stress, since then my partner has treated me differently. Before I had this breakdown my partner treated me as his equal and respected me...
A. 14 September 2015: I'm sorry to hear you suffered a breakdown, but it's good to know you are feeling like your old self.
You have to be aware how much family are affected when someone gets so ill like you have. People around you had a lot to deal with no doubt.
From ... (read in full...)
Should we end the marriage rather than try save it for the sake of our daughter
Q. I did it. I have finally confronted my husband to let him know how unhappy I am in our marriage. We argue about silly things. Mainly most recently due to our toddler growing up and how different we deal with her been corrected. For a long time when ...
A. 14 September 2015: I think this is a case for professional counselling. If you can't get him to go with you go on your own. You will have someone in your corner who has an overview. It can be hard to make sense of these situations when so much is at stake and so much ... (read in full...)
Engaged and then we broke up, engaged again and now he wants to break up...again!! None of it makes any sense
Q. My fiance and I started dating January 2012. It actually went quicker than I'm use to. By July we moved in together. In December 2013 we got engaged for the first time. In August 2014 he broke up with me. For weeks I was a mess. At 6 weeks I acc...
A. 14 September 2015: It sounds to me like he has some psychological problems. My advice would be to call it a day. You are at risk of being a yoyo to his moods. It will bring you down, ruin you present, and affect your future. Find someone who loves you and is stable a... (read in full...)
What is my co-worker's problem?
Q. So this new girl just started working at my job about two weeks ago and when we met I thought we clicked right away. I showed her the ropes which she appreciated and we talked a lot about our personal lives. She would even compliment me on a lot of ...
A. 11 September 2015: Could it be that you are assuming more about what she thought of you than is actually true?
It seems natural that on joining the workforce she would lean on a helpful co-worker.
Just back off and let things return to normal.
You will see if ... (read in full...)
Kicking myself for a missed opportunity
Q. Help. I just turned 40, so in affect I'm now 'middle aged'. I'm not one for dating or looking for dates much - I just take life as it comes. Recently however, I have been kicking myself for turning down a gorgeous guy who was chatting me up online. ...
A. 11 September 2015: If he's in a relationship be happy because perhaps he found his perfect partner. It's not all about you. You weren't the one.... (read in full...)
Should I just cut my losses?
Q. I've become really close to this guy over the summer. We are casually dating. We're always communicating and he's a really nice guy. I'm going back to uni on monday and he hasn't tried to see me or even seem bothered.. He seems interested other...
A. 11 September 2015: If you are at uni' and he is somewhere else it's not a great way to build a relationship.
I think that while you are at uni' you should keep all your options open. It's a great time to have fun, and not try to cultivate a distant relationship that... (read in full...)
How do I tell male friends that I've found the right guy?
Q. I'm falling hard for the man in dating. He's so sweet and I can be myself around him. We laugh for hours :) We just made things official and I'm at a loss because I had been talking to other men (no sex or anything just dates etc). They are decent ...
A. 10 September 2015: I still don't think you get it. You can not have ex-boyfriends hanging around, and be in a serious relationship too.
You say: "But I don't see how my bf would be okay with me hanging out with guys that are attracted to me etc."
Exactly! Get a gr... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my boyfriend isn't attracted to me even though he says that isn't true
Q. Ive been dating a guy for about a month now. I met him at work and so far things have been going well. Before this guy I was in a domestically abusive relationship, so to now meet someone who is kind and caring is a breath of fresh air. So fa...
A. 8 September 2015: In answer to your question: What do you think you can do about it? I can't think of anything except, stop worrying. That would be one good thing to do. It has never helped anyone.
You have asked him and he gave you a reply.
Many men like women to... (read in full...)
How do I tell male friends that I've found the right guy?
Q. I'm falling hard for the man in dating. He's so sweet and I can be myself around him. We laugh for hours :) We just made things official and I'm at a loss because I had been talking to other men (no sex or anything just dates etc). They are decent ...
A. 8 September 2015: Just tell them that there is someone on the scene so not this time thanks. Be honest, don't beat around the bush. Tell them you've found someone special and your likely to be seeing him for a while.
It's only hard if you make it so.... (read in full...)
I've been dumped before but this time is different!
Q. I can’t believe I’m writing in, but my situation is desperate! I’ve been in relationships before that have lasted far longer than the one I was recently in. I’ve dealt with rejection and being dumped by guys I really like and got over them but this...
A. 8 September 2015: I worry that so many responses 'imagine' what was his motivation, and none of them are very charitable.
You let your heart rule your head. It's wonderful to be swept up in a heady romance, and the danger is part of the thrill. This time it didn... (read in full...)
How do I support a friend who just lost a parent?
Q. My friend just messaged me saying she wasn't ready for a phone call but that her dad had just died from a sudden heart attack and that she just wanted to let me know. So I replied, offering my sympathies and that if she wanted company I'd come...
A. 7 September 2015: Sometimes inviting your friend out on and activity can be healing. Perhaps they wont want to come the first time, but that shouldn't stop you asking again.
Going for a bike ride is a nice thing to do if the countryside is suitable. I leave it to y... (read in full...)
I've been dumped before but this time is different!
Q. I can’t believe I’m writing in, but my situation is desperate! I’ve been in relationships before that have lasted far longer than the one I was recently in. I’ve dealt with rejection and being dumped by guys I really like and got over them but this...
A. 7 September 2015: I'm sorry to hear you have been hurt. There is no immediate fix for it. Just take it day by day. Find some new interest. Treat yourself to something - a holiday if you can afford it. And remember it does get better.
He wasn't the right one. You ... (read in full...)
I want to make friends but don't know where to start!
Q. This sounds weird but how can I make friends? I've never been one to be popular or have many friends, but I had about 5 close friends from high school. I ended up loosing touch with them because 2 of them moved and the other 3 went off to coll...
A. 7 September 2015: I think you have made a good start by volunteering and dog training class. However you might need to explore some different options, different classes etc if you aren't meeting the right people for you. You could also invite a few people for dinner ... (read in full...)
How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 6 September 2015: Look to the future, and not to the past. Life has many good things in store for you. Take joy in small things. Write down 10 things a day in a notebook that give you pleasure. ... (read in full...)
How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 4 September 2015: I honestly don't know why you posted this question. It's fairly obvious that you ignore someone that you don't want to see. Are you feeling insecure?
It doesn't seem like he has done anything very bad to you.
He made friends with you. He finished... (read in full...)
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