A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Thank you for reading... I am so insecure, I don't understand why.I've been dating this guy for about 9 months. Our families have met, he lied to me and told me that I was the first one that he had introduced to his family and later he backtracked and said he had introduced other girls...Anyways, we broke up because he was being a rude, inconsiderate boyfriend and he asked me to get back. I have seen changes in his behaviour. Overall I'm pleased with what I am seeing and how I feel but I just befriended him on fb (he doesn't seem to use it too often) after 9 months of dating and I was stalking his profile yesterday and found all the picture of all of his exes. There is this one particular ex that is dating now one of my best friends and we seem to run in the same circles. They lasted about 1 year together...Im sooo insecure... Im not going to say that Im like brightest star out there but I have a pretty good job in a prestigious field. I compete in bodybuilding so I know Im in decent shape, I cook for him because I love spoiling him whenever I can. I think I dress pretty nicely, we have similarities in sense of humor and we usually see eye to eye in other things, his mom likes me. When we were on the break she asked if we could talk and she told me that my boyfriend told her that he wanted to marry me, but I don't understand why seeing these exes has made me even more insecure that I usually am, and it driving me nuts.I feel like an idiot for caring about these pictures but it makes me wonder if the relationship has an expiration date?.. help me.
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best friend, broke up, his ex, insecure, stalking Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 I think your insecurities have deepened because he lied to you and treated you badly at the start. You can try working on them but the thing is sometimes when trust is broken in the early days it makes us vulnerable and insecure. He lied to you about these girls and now you are left wondering why.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (18 June 2016):
 This is something you need to have a heart to heart conversation with your boyfriend. You need to explain that he has to wipe the slate clean of the past and come to you with out any attachments to former loves.
If he loves you he will do it without a second thought. If he protests give him a few days to think it over and if he still protests then you have a decision to make.
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A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (18 June 2016):
Gosh this I an awful feeling to have.
I wonder if you have a general issue with exs? If so, read up on retroactive jealousy and see if you recognise how you are feeling.
Extreme insecurity and jealousy won't go away on its own I'm afraid...you really do need to seek a therapist to help identify its root cause and help change how you think and react and therefore feel in relationships
Good luck!
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