A
female
age
30-35,
*adnlost
writes:Hello. My husband and I are going to get divorced, he asked for it. We are now completing the legal papers. I was really shocked when he told me that he cant live with me anymore and that I cant give him what he wants... We had a lot of financial troubles since we started living together and during this 1 year of mariage I saw the man I falled in love with changing for the worst he became nervous and all stressed out... I tried to do everything I could, I worked, I took care of him when he was sick.. I still love him. I cant talk to him he blocked my number. Really don't know what to do. I still can't believe it.
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female
reader, sadnlost +, writes (9 June 2016):
sadnlost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2016): I'm sure he's not a bad guy, otherwise it would be easier to get over him. I'd like to underline just one thing (I agree with everything said so far), it's really better this way. If you as a couple and most notably him couldn't take financial stress (or maybe some other kinds as well), it's good that you learned that sooner rather than later. Life is hard. Life is dealing with problems and not not having any. Life is dealing with stress and not avoiding it at any cost.As a relationship grows (and as we age) it only gets more complex. He probably wouldn't be able to deal with the bigger problems that would come along and you would actually be alone in this relationship. You sound as if you had already taken more responsibility than it's rightfully yours.Look at your ex-husband in an objective way and I am sure that you'll find the things you don't like. But instead of focusing on the negative and the sadness, focus on yourself. Do things for yourself. Work on your CV, learn languages, go to the gym, spend time with positive people...This too shall pass. Hang in there!
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (9 June 2016):
 I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Divorce and ending a marriage is often times one of the most difficult things one can endure in life.
It sounds like you are still in the grieving process and you still have some hopes in making this work. Unfortunately, it sounds like the divorce process is under way and to further cut ties, your soon-to-be-ex-husband has blocked communication with you.
While you can analyze what went wrong in your marriage, it does take two to make one work. And surely your husband played a role in it's demise too. So don't blame the ending of it entirely on yourself.
I would encourage you to seek help in the form of a therapist. A therapist should be able to help you look at what you had control over -- and what you didn't. Having someone to talk to -- and listen -- can help with the stress, aggravations and guilt you may be dealing with. They can also help you learn to forgive yourself. Perhaps it is time to make an investment in yourself...
Things will get better. Just try to ride it out. Life will go on and it will get easier to deal with.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2016): I'm so very sorry. It has only been a year? If you can't have his love, you'll have to let him go. Don't be alone. Spend time with your parents, hang closer to your family for support. Try to distract yourself from dwelling on it all hours of the day by doing things that give you peace and tranquility. If you are spiritual or have a religion; pray, and seek counseling from your spiritual leadership.
Most of all, share your feelings with your mother, sisters, aunts, grandmother, and best female friend. I've seen the wonders women do for each other in consoling a woman in pain; and no therapy is as powerful as women helping each other.
My dear, you take it one day at a time. Leave him alone.
Don't subject yourself to his rejection, it will only cut deeper. I know he's still your husband until the legalities are final; but he has already decided he's finished.
Pull yourself together. Dig deep inside and reach for that strength reserved for times like these. When you feel yourself just losing it; go home to mama, sweetie. There's nothing like her arms around you when you're hurting inside. Then don't give him the power to hold your feelings in his hands. Take hold of yourself and know that someday you'll come out on the other side of this. You'll be all the stronger, and you'll take pride in the fact you could survive something so bad. Have faith. You'll make it through, my dear. Come to us as much as you need. We're here for you too!
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A
female
reader, sadnlost +, writes (8 June 2016):
sadnlost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your kind response. I hope to get to that point where I can feel calm and complete on my own.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (8 June 2016):
 I so sorry to hear of the hurt you are going through. We have a saying in UK, 'When money flies out the window love flies out the door.'
Financial problems put an awful stress on a relationship. If you can get through this - and you can - there is a better life waiting for you with a better man. So many have felt what you feel now and are wishing you well.
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