A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend had a break because of other things in my life not to do with him , we have only been together a few month but knew each other as friends 6 months previously , we do not live together. i told him i was having a few problems but he didnt seem to want to 'cope' as tho it was too much for him to have in his life aswell as his own problems i didnt go into detail what my problems were so i wasnt putting pressure on him to 'help' me as there wasnt anything he could actually do , were now at that point do we get back together or split permanently . i feel i should tell him details of what my problems were one was a massive financial setback which could have caused me to lose my house , ive been a single parent for 14 years and everything is on my shoulders and i just had all pressure built up and felt no end was in sight but im now getting back on track with stuff , i do have family and friends for emotional support and did as much as they could financially for me through the really bad times , my boyfriend is a private person and doesnt talk about any problems he has , i did the same and it caused me this big set back , do i tell him details like nearly losing my house , financial setbacks that were out my hands , couple of health issues , pressure to do things had built up and then tell him what i do want and just give him a couple of week to see if he wants the same ? i have to give a time limit because if he hasnt decided by then , then i know ill have to end things because 2 week is plenty of time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 He is your boyfriend, in a relationship you should both be able to rely on each other, share your problems and be there for each other. It seems that he is just not ready for a relationship with you at the moment. My guess is that he does not want a woman with baggage, just someone to have a little fun with.
The best thing for you to do is talk to him about your problems and see how he reacts, if he offers a shoulder then great, and if not well then my guess would be that he is not the man for you.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (5 June 2016):
 I would open the subject and see if he wants to know more about your difficulties. He may not have asked before for fear of prying. On the other hand he may not be bothered what is going on in your life.
A relationship is all about sharing. That's how you build a life together. If he is just there for sex and soup then you can probably do better. If he is respecting your privacy and believes you will tell him when you are ready then he has a good degree of sensitivity.
You will need to judge his attitude as you start to open up about your financial worries. If he doesn't respond in the right way then you have a clear signal he doesn't give a damn.
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