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What's your opinion of age gaps? Does he really like me? Or does he have a different motive?

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Family, Friends, Sex, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 June 2016) 8 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2016)
A female United States age 26-29, *arahbeara23 writes:

Okay so first.. What's your opinion on age gaps?? What's to big of an age gap?

There is a guy at my work ( I work in a factory) who works second shift while I work first. He is 12 years older than I am.

When I very first started working there he stopped me and asked me my name and how old I was, he said he'd been trying to get my attention for a few days. So I answered him and laughed like it was no big deal.

Well after I was there for about 6 or 7 months, I had a friend named well let's just call him shorty. Well shorty told me the guy liked me. I didn't believe him of course I mean the guy is much older than I, he probably See's me as a kid. I found the guy to be cute and relatively sweet so I told shorty it was just to big of an age gap to deal with.

Some time passed and I had been there for about a year. Shorty told me the guy wanted my number. I told him he couldn't have my number but I'd add him on Facebook, which I did.

The guy talks to me here and there online and I see him at work. Well this past weekend him and shorty wanted to hang out, the guy only lives a few roads away from me, so I walked to his house and hung out with them both.

Turned into going to the beach, where the guy tried sticking something down the front of my bathing suit. I didn't like that very much and asked him not to do that again,

He asked if I've ever been felt up, when I told him no, he asked how I've had relationships in the past then.

I kind of just looked at him with disgust.

Later that evening my parents invited both of them over to drink around the fire. So we all hung out til midnight.

Shorty kept dancing around saying he was right, cuz I did sort of like this guy but with the whole beach thing I feel as if he has a different motive.

And I for one don't want to get hurt. (And for those who don't know yes I am a virgin waiting for marriage)

Well he got out of work yesterday early and asked if I wanted to come hang out, so I did.

When I got there it ended up turning into a big old tickle fight. He had then hit my boob on purpose and when I asked him not to do that he tried turning it into a joke.

Telling me not to touch him at all then cuz he don't like that.

Later he put his arm around me. Called me cute, then kissed my cheek and told me he liked me. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to this so I just sat there..

He asked me what I thought about him in few words. I hate being put on the spot I got quiet and didn't say anything...

He then asked if I would kiss his cheek.. I did not. I'm just no so sure on how to go about this guy.

I can't tell if he actually likes me or if he has different motives.

Can someone tell me what it is they think.. Cuz I'm even confused on why a 32yr old is interested in me... Someone please help.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 June 2016):

chigirl agony auntOh, and I can tell you this too, he is shitty in bed. If a one night stand was even something to be considered, then this is not the guy. A man whos idea of flirting is to hit someone in the boob, has no idea what he is doing. Maybe he's a virgin himself, because I don't see how he could have charmed anyone with his moves.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 June 2016):

chigirl agony auntNever date anyone under half your age + 7. Yes, you are too young for him.

But, the age gap aside, he sounds like an idiot. Asking if you've ever been felt up and trying to put "something" down your bathing suit? To cop a feel, of course. I think the reason he likes you is just because you as so young, because no woman is own age would EVER accept such behaviour or try to laugh it away. He'd get a slap if he tried to put something down their bathing suit. And a door in his face.

He sounds like he is mentally 12 years old. Tickle fight? Really. How.. mature.

As for the kiss on the cheek request. This is a classic move. They ask to kiss on the cheek, and then as you lean in to kiss, he will turn his head so that you kiss him on the lips.

What is his motive? To get you to bed with him so he can brag about having had you.

If he genuinely liked you, and was mentally mature, he would have simply asked you out. Not started a tickle fight, tried to feel you up in your bathing suit, and then hitting your boob. This guy is a creep. You'll know what I mean once you start to date someone who is normal. You will look back on this guy and see right away why he only went after younger girls... because he's not mentally mature at all and acts like a child. His motives are like those of a horny 16-year old too, not thinking about a relationship at all, but thinking "oh, a boob, I wanna touch it, so I will HIT IT and pretend it was a joke, when all I want is to just feel her up..."

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (24 June 2016):

For whatever reason you want to ascribe to it, the formula one half the mans age plus seven is the youngest woman a man can date, and vice versa. Seems to work for any age once dating starts.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (24 June 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntHe sounds like an uneducated boor and a sleaze and you should stay away from him. He doesn't know how to talk to women, how to be respectful of women and irrespective of whether or not he likes you, he doesn't seem right in any way.

If he does like you, this is the worst way to show it. If he's just trying to get into your pants, then it's just as bad or even worse.

Either way, run for the hills. This guy is terrible

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntEwww I get such a high creep factor from your post (about him).

Sorry, I don't find him cute or charming either. I agree with the uncle and the aunties he is a VERY immature 32 year old.

I think he is hoping to "bag" a young girl (you) and not much else.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (24 June 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Think ,OP, think ...What could it be the motive :) ?

Yes, THAT . You got it. He wants to get into your knickers.

I am not saying that some times a 32 y.o. guy could not be on the same wavelength with a mature 20 y.o. , and want a serious, successful relationship. It can happen ( even if not very often, as far as I know ).

But he would have started and continued in an all different way .

Here, feeling you up , and tickling you, and finding excuse to touch you... really ! He acts as if he is 15, not 32.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 June 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe has different motives. he wants to get in your knickers.

ignore him. he's a tool.

fwiw age gap can and do work. My husband is 13yrs younger than i am.

caveat is that both partner need to be mature and experienced. he was 37 when we met and 39 when we married.

You are young and inexperienced... please keep your partners on the same level as you (young and inexperienced) until you figure out how to navigate relationships.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2016):

Denizen agony auntI think this man is a sleaze. He has no finesse in dealing with women or romance. Asking you if you have ever been felt up is on the level of a dirty little schoolboy.

The age gap is neither here nor there except that in this case is shows how retarded he must be.

Tell him to stay the heck away.

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