A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a bf of over a year however recently something happened with a work colleague. The guy from work kissed me after a night out but now has said we can't talk outside of work anymore as his gf thinks there is something between us.I'm feeling pulled in two directions, on one hand my bf is the logical choice, he treats me well but can be very over critical with me. And my heart says to reach out to this guy at work because there is definitely an attraction and natural chemistry between us. What do I do? Do I reach out to him or leave it alone?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 June 2016):
 I agree with Auntie BimBim and Auntie SVC.
The guy has a GF, he wants NOTHING to do without outside of work and my guess is... only deal with you with regards to work related issues AT work. His GF has suspicions because he has behaved in a way to GIVE her those and people at work seems to gossip.
And IF crap hits the fan... who do you think everyone is going to point a finger at? *hint* YOU! IT is YOUR reputation that would be tarnished.
So REIGN in any feelings for this guy. Treat him like a co-worker and NO MORE. No personal texts or call - or e-mail etc. BE PROFESSIONAL. You work-place in NOT a dating club. You are there to work, not chase guys.
As for your BF? I agree with SVC... Option #3 sounds much better... Dump the BF... Work on yourself and stay single a while. When you are ready to date again... FIND a single fella OUTSIDE of work. I think one of the reasons you got attached to this fella at work is because your relationship is lacking. NOT that it excuses YOUR (or his) behavior.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2016): I'm the original poster of this question.
ThanK you everyone who has gave answers.
My worry is how things will be in work when I go back. People have always commented on how we are together I'm worried this will be noticeable. His gf works in the same place and is the one who wants him to stop talking to me as she's got suspicions.
Is it worth me saying anything or carrying on like normal and ignore it?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 June 2016):
 You have *nothing* with your colleague. He has a girlfriend and doesn't want any contact outside of work with you.
However, you have something with your boyfriend that you're not happy with. You break up with him, take a few months out of dating, then find someone you like who is *single*.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2016):
 You seem to be missing option 3... ignore the taken man from work and break up with the guy that's overly critical and go it alone for a bit then meet someone who's better than Mr Critical and more appropriate than taken man from work.
why does the option have to be one or the other?
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (19 June 2016):
 Auntie BimBim is right. I kiss has got your passions and your imagination fired up, but the reality is it isn't going anywhere.
What it might become is just in your head. Bring it back in proportion. Decide if you want to move on from your current of the moment.
Perhaps a little time without a mate would let you ground yourself, become your own person again, and look carefully at what you want in your next partner.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 June 2016):
 Why would you reach out to the guy at work has already told you there will not even be any TALKING outside of work?
I would suggest that comment should let you know he is not interested, even if you do think there is some sort of chemical reaction between the two of you.
He has already made his choice, his girlfriend! As for your boyfriend, if you are not sure if he is the guy for you or not best to tell him so rather than string him along until the next random kiss comes along.
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