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... Send *earkelja a private message | | | *earkelja's profile:This site has been a wonderful experience for me. I hope that I have helped some of you in some small way.
I'll be back from time to time to help where I can. My focus for now is to get my life back to good. Thank you to those of you who have helped me along my journey. Your help, love and guidance have made me strong.
Be good all of you! |
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How do I break down the wall that I have subconciously built around my heart?
Q. After a disasterous marriage; mental and violent abuse and post marriage finding out that he also abused my kids I thought my heart would break 14 years ago. Immeadiately after I threw myself into work, but then 5 years later developed a debilita...
A. 19 October 2007: Fear is a shuttering thing. There is no guarantee that love will be painless or that you will not get hurt. What is even harder to realize is that you may hurt someone else along the way. Not sure which is worse. What you will need to do is put ... (read in full...)
I want to stop being needy
Q. I am totaly lost. About 3 months ago I broke up with my ex bf (he didnt treat me right). It was hard though because i was dependent on him to make me feel good, to make me feel valued and important. Yet i did it and wanted to work on myself. Ive ...
A. 18 October 2007: Thanks RCN, I learned something too! Anon, this sounds silly but if you could put a list together of all the good qualities about you and then look at yourself in a mirror and read them aloud. Be good to yourself. It's ok to tell yourself that ... (read in full...)
I want to stop being needy
Q. I am totaly lost. About 3 months ago I broke up with my ex bf (he didnt treat me right). It was hard though because i was dependent on him to make me feel good, to make me feel valued and important. Yet i did it and wanted to work on myself. Ive ...
A. 17 October 2007: I could be wrong but I am thinking there are two issues here. You definately need to start to feel comfortable on your own. If you can get your self worth internally then you will not need to rely on friends, boyfriends, etc for this self love. ... (read in full...)
I can have sex with him, but can't say how I feel
Q. i have been seeing this guy for 4 months but he only texts or phones me on a saturday night to meet and come back mine when hes out with his mates, is thier any possibility hes interested in a relationship or is he just using me for sex, i really do ...
A. 14 October 2007: If you really like this guy I think you should discontinue allowing him to get away with this set up. He will respect you more if you respect yourself. If you are uncomfortable with telling him how you feel then you should start by telling him you ... (read in full...)
How do we go about being together?
Q. Can you help? I fancy my aunts boyfriend and I know the feeling is mutual. Hes always eyeing me up, particualrly as I have very big boobs and she does not. I believe if you've got it then flaunt it and I get lots of attention from men. Me a...
A. 14 October 2007: First off, I agree with all the others. You are completely lacking in maturity and self worth. You say you've slept with your aunt's bf's friends? Do you think any of these men respect you for you? Your aunt is not envious of you, she is most ... (read in full...)
I see him everyday, how can I forget him and move on?
Q. I am completely in love with a guy who works with me. We had an affair for 18 months when I was divorcing my husband and his girlfriend had left him. We are sexualy crazy about each other but, he is not sure if something else is there. A couple of ...
A. 13 October 2007: I am very sorry about your situation. You should know that you are not alone in your situation. There are many work romances that don't work out and people are left working with someone they still love or have feelings for. It is unfortunate but ... (read in full...)
Where will my life's big changes lead me?
Q. Hi Everyone, Ok..so here goes. I am at a point in my life where i really don't know where i'm going. My job will be coming to an end early next year and i can't decide what i am going to do next? Plus, i wrote on here a few months ago about a...
A. 12 October 2007: Look upon your life changes as a new beginning. If you are not tied down in this area, you might want to try some new surroundings. Sometimes just moving away from your problems will help you see thing more clearly. Granted, your problems will ... (read in full...)
Married for 3 years, and we just have no connection anymore. What is my future?
Q. I have been married for 3 years. My wife and I have no connection. We dont sleep together. We havent had sex in 2 years. I dont think she is cheating but she defenetly leans on her friends for emotional support. I love her and she says she loves me. ...
A. 7 October 2007: I think your marriage is in trouble. Your lovemaking is a reflection of your marriage and I'd have to say it's empty. Your wife should be relying on you for some of her emotional support. Kids and jobs do have a way of tearing down marriages but ... (read in full...)
I have Bulimia and I need help. I think I might be killing myself.
Q. I'm 19 and I've suffered from bulimia since i was 11 years old but now although i acknowledge there’s a problem I’m terrified to get help. I’m also highly worried about what i have done to my body and the irreversible damage I may have caused, I’m ...
A. 6 October 2007: Carla dear,
You are going down a path of self destruction and I think you realize this. I know you said you don't want to get help because they will make you gain weight. Two choices here, gain a healthy weight (they will NOT make you fat in fact... (read in full...)
"He loves me, he loves me not," I'm confused..
Q. hello when i met my boyfriend five months ago, we both agreed to have fun and see how it goes. i felt though that in the beginning he was unwilling to commit. he is extremely kind to me very thoughtful and very helpful. he never however told me ...
A. 6 October 2007: There are several problems with this relationship. A red flag appeared in the beginning when he criticized you and only pointed out your negatives. It seems his interest perked up when you tried to give him the boot. With his renewed interest you ... (read in full...)
How do I weed out the bad guys from the good so I don't waist my time?
Q. I've recently started dating again after being in a 5yr relationship. What I've noticed though that it gets a lot harder as you get older. Also there are a lot of guys out there who just want sex. I get really angry after the effort I've made in ...
A. 4 October 2007: I guess a suggestion I have is to observe where the man is looking when the dating proposition comes up. If the man keeps looking at your chest or rear, then he is probably just after sex. If he looks you in they eyes and can hold a gaze, then he ... (read in full...)
Will it hurt my boys not to have a male influence in their lives?
Q. Curiosity question here. I am currently separated from my husband and seriously considering divorce. Of course at this time in my life I feel like I don't ever want another man in for life for as long as I live. Every experience I've EVER had ...
A. 30 September 2007: Being a woman who grew up in a single parent household with a younger brother, I would like to add my thoughts. How old are the boys? If the boys are in their formative relationship years, 10-15, you need to be aware that they are now processing ... (read in full...)
What do you do when you love someone you can never have?
Q. what do you do when you love someone you can never have?...
A. 20 September 2007: Somehow you need to find out why you love this person. How does he make you feel. What are his traits, qualities, etc that you are attracted to. When you know, you then need to sell yourself on why you can't have this person and try to move on. ... (read in full...)
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