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... Send *issmel34 a private message | | | *issmel34's profile:Hello,
I'm a 34 year old woman from Australia.
I have been married once before.
There were 3 things I had in common with my first husband when I married him. We were young, we were poor and we were stupid.
Well 3 kids later and a divorce, I don't think I'm any of those things anymore. I've learnt alot about myself in the last few years.
I met an amazing man, who I am about to marry.
Relationships though, no matter how wonderful are hard work. We all have ups and downs. Hopefully, linking in with this site I can offer some of my thoughts and feelings, but also have people share their opinions with me.
Mel
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He's displays affection, but is not as passionate as when we first started going out. Sometimes I feel he is not happy?
Q. Hi everyone Just need your advice really as Im confused. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a bit months now and we have slept together an all but I am confused as to how he feels and if he is actually wanting a committed relationship...
A. 15 December 2007: All relationships have their own timing. What you have discribed is the initial stages of a relationship. But it takes time for it to mature and blossom.
If the guy was claiming his love for you all in a couple ...I'd be a bit concerne... (read in full...)
I want to secretly visit my LD bf - who lives abroad - without telling my mother. Good idea?
Q. they say people will do ANYTHING for the love. so okay i got to know this guy who lives in another country. and we're currently on a long distance relationship. i love him so much i swear and i guess he loves me back the same. and recently i have t...
A. 15 December 2007: How old are you sweetie?
... (read in full...)
Christmas present dilemma. Bought her a present last year, which she didn't reciprocate, so how do I proceed THIS year?
Q. Right i got a christmas present dilemma! Last year, i bought a friend a present 4 xmas (Big box of malteasers) and i never got anything back! Even though she kept saying that she was gonna send me some money in a card! Anyway I put that in the ...
A. 15 December 2007:
If you're giving gifts to all your other friends, then you have to include her, its rude not to do that.
Whether you receive a gift from her is neither here nor there. Like everyone else has said, give for the act of giving.
Xmas is not about... (read in full...)
People sometimes poke fun at me; I want to have their respect without fighting! Any ideas?
Q. dear cupid i am having a problem, i seem to say stupid stuff and everyone laughs at me, my other problem is that i am scared and do not have the braveness to stand up to people so in the process people end up calling me names and make fun of me. ...
A. 14 December 2007: Oh dear, reading this brought all my highschool years back.
I was the quirky arty girl, who thought it was perfectly fine to wear doc martins and daisys in my hair to school. And whenever I opened my mouth people thought I was just weird.
... (read in full...)
Open-relationship is making me self-conscious. What can I do?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm okay with the open relationship I have with my boyfriend. I don't think ordinarily I'd be so worried or upset, but the girls he wants to go after are thinner than me, and it makes me feel very self-conscious. Like, if he's go...
A. 14 December 2007: An open relationship huh.
Do you see other guys, or is it just him seeing other girls?
Sweetie hes playing you, its obvious this is not ok with you, its effecting the way you see yourself. When we start to lose self esteem in a relationship i... (read in full...)
Are these signs of pregnancy? What else could they mean? I've tender breasts, stomachaches, backaches and vomit.
Q. Think i could be pregnant all of a sudden throwing up tender breasts stomache and back aches dardnt go to the doctors or tell ANYONE il get called a slag at my school what else can it be? what can i do?any anwers appriciated!! x x xx xx xx ...
A. 14 December 2007: Sweetie,
Firstly, it may or may not be. As women we do tend to have these frights from time to time. Go to the supermarket/chemist and buy a pregnancy test kit. You will be able to test yourself at home, get a friend to go with you, after all that... (read in full...)
My husband's cat is very dirty, makes noise, has attacked a friend - I'm concerned about my babies' safety, yet my partner wants to keep it!
Q. I really dislike my husband's cat! She's 11 yrs. old, she has long hair that falls out in clumps, I have found little clumps of hair that have feces in it, all over the house..I am 6 months pregnant and I have an 8 month old and I do not want this ...
A. 14 December 2007: Tell him, his cat - his responsibility. Its not your job to get rid of the cat. As a parent of 3 children I've been here, but it was a dog. I had her long before I had kids, she was dreadfully jeolous of my babies, but I persevered. I had seperate ... (read in full...)
I am trying to conceive but every source provides different information about the most fertile period.
Q. Helllooo I am trying to conceive. The only problem is i have no idea when i am fertile. Every website tells me a different date. I have only been trying for 2 months now. I have been off birth control that long as well. Any suggestions on w...
A. 14 December 2007: I'm trying to be honest. If you were my daughter thats exactly the same lecture I'd give her. You've chosen your path, and its obvious that nothing anyone says is going to change it.
Sending you big hugs though. Whether you want to believe ... (read in full...)
A regular pregnancy test compared to a blood test?
Q. i was wondering if a regular pregnancy test is the same as a blood test? and witch one is preferable? because I get all the symptoms of being pregnant and my belly is growing but the pregnancy test came out negative what should i do?...
A. 14 December 2007: Go to the doctor sweetie, thats what they are there for.
But, pregnancy tests these days are pretty much accurate.
... (read in full...)
Is it normal, to want to taste his own sperm? (kissing me immediately after I perform oral)
Q. My boyfriend likes to kiss me after i gave him blow job and swallowed cos he likes the taste of himself. It is not just my assumption, he actually told me. Do any other guys like to taste themselves? Do you think it is normal?...
A. 14 December 2007: I've known a few guys who found that a complete turn on. Like everything to do with sex, whats normal???... (read in full...)
I respect her wish of remaining virgin until marriage but I'm tempted to cheat. What should I do?
Q. i'm having a problem with this girl i'm dating, she's a 27 years old virgin who never been touched by a man ever. we are together for 4 years now and i have never seen her naked! i respect her wish of remaining virgin till marriage but it's killing ...
A. 14 December 2007: Theres a few things that really disturbed me about this. Firstly when you say you really "like" your gf of 4 yrs. After being together with someone for such a long time, I would hope that you would love her. Secondly, theres a definite age ... (read in full...)
He said we are 'too differant', I think we are perfect!
Q. Well, last night he told me that he thinks we are "too different" and that he doesn't think it will work out. I am crazy about him. He's a carpenter. I am a corporate professional and I think that the disparity in our incomes bothers him. He ...
A. 14 December 2007: Oh my!
Oh....I cried when I read this.
I still have tears in my eyes. Probably because we have all been here in some form, haven't we?
Yes you have to be honest with this man and tell him the way you are feeling. I agree with the others, h... (read in full...)
I'm feeling broken, any advice.
Q. o.k. time to spill:: i have been with {umm i'll call him "j"} for almost 2 years now! Things aren't going so great anymore since his car wreck because he is too controlling and stuck up my butt 24/7. + he's jealous over me! and i'm tired of it. ...
A. 14 December 2007: You have unresolved feelings for your "r". And you probably know that your relationship with "j" is almost on its way out.
I think you should make a clean slate of it. Neither one of these relationships are satisfying you. They aren't making y... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbien and should I tell her.
Q. I work at an all girls school and this has not been a problem until now. I have always been in straight relationships, but recently - since the start of the year - I have had feelings for one student in particular. I can't understand it as...
A. 14 December 2007: I agree with rcn.
The fact is most people have to have a level of professional conduct in their work. Anything involving young adults/children even more so.
There is entire world of opportunities out there to meet people, why even consider a ... (read in full...)
Is he interested? I'm so confused...
Q. So there is this teacher who I have a good relationship with, and I consider him a friend since I’ve known him for about three years, but I wonder if he thinks of me more than that. Like he asked me where my “attachment” (boyfriend) was when he ...
A. 14 December 2007: Hmmmmm.
I don't think he finds you a close friend. A teacher is a person of authority, a person who guides you, inspires you. Hes not your friend.
Is he dropping hints, well maybe. Its hard to say. He may very well be. He seems to enjoy having ... (read in full...)
I am trying to conceive but every source provides different information about the most fertile period.
Q. Helllooo I am trying to conceive. The only problem is i have no idea when i am fertile. Every website tells me a different date. I have only been trying for 2 months now. I have been off birth control that long as well. Any suggestions on w...
A. 14 December 2007: Wow, your lifes together before you turn 21. You own your own home, you've been to uni and started a career and have some money behind you. I'm sorry I assumed that a young girl barely past her teens would have not have her life TOGETHER.
I'm s... (read in full...)
She's 'turned off the tap' and sleeps in the other bedroom. Can anyone help?
Q. I have been married for 6 years and have a step daughter and we have had a child who is now 17 months old. My wife has recently told me that she wants to leave me to have some time on her own. She will not say that she wants a divorce but she won't ...
A. 14 December 2007: Been here.
In my marriage I got so low, so depressed and down with the way things were I just retreated. I wouldn't sleep in the same bed, and the thought of him touching me was just repulsive. I felt completely violated, used and misunder... (read in full...)
Should I accept that he receives sexual pictures from other men??
Q. hi, i have a bit of a problem. Me and my partner are in a long distance relationship. We have been together for 18 months and 6 months ago i moved to a different country to work. We love each other more than anything, we see each other about twic...
A. 14 December 2007: I'm with baby duck.
She just encaptulated my relationship theory, hers was so more eloquent then mine.
I call them core beliefs. I think every person deep in their soul has core beliefs of what is right and wrong, good and bad. Of how they want... (read in full...)
I want to do something special, just to show him my love. Suggestions?
Q. hey everyone, i am wanting to do something nice for my boyfriend just because i love him. he has been working out of town and i just wanted to show him that i love him. any ideas or suggestions? thanks...
A. 14 December 2007: yes richard....massage oil. lol... (read in full...)
My boyfriend chooses his mates over me.
Q. My boyfriend chooses his mates over me, what does this mean? does he love me enough?...
A. 14 December 2007: Sweetie, you're young. You're not his wife you're his gf, let him be young and have fun with his friends. You both deserve that time with friends infact.
Young love is wonderful, but don't let it consume you.
... (read in full...)
He loses his erection a bit when I go down on him. Whats wrong?
Q. Hey everybody. I want to start out by wishing you all happy holidays!! Anyways, I have a problem. Everytime I go down on my boyfriend he always goes a bit limp. Not completely but it goes down a bit. Everything is fine when we have sex. He has...
A. 14 December 2007: LOL Richard. I love it!
Revenge hey......very cool, must keep that one in mind.
Performing fellatio is a tricky thing, every man is different. One guy likes it soft, another likes it hard and deep. Communication is probably the best bet here. T... (read in full...)
My ex wants to see me. Should I tell him to take a hike, or go see him?
Q. hi all ok so last month i met this great guy whos 22 and im 26 and we get on great and really like each other , ive met his family and we make each other laugh , the age gap between us doesnt bother me or him at all anyway a few days ago i...
A. 14 December 2007: There are people who come into our lives and we are like moths to a flame with them. No matter how our head is telling us no...we simply keep going back for more.
Abusive relationships are so typical of this. We become co dependent in this cyc... (read in full...)
I was often an ass, is it something she can get over?
Q. I recently broke up with my girlfriend after 1.5 years. We had had 3 break-ups through-out the relationship, all my fault, she caught me flirting with some girl when i was walking out of class, then she caught me sending e-mails back and forth with ...
A. 14 December 2007: Theres no good way to break up with a person. It hurts like hell. Its wonderful that you are feel such empathy for her. Examining who you were in a past relationship makes the next one better.
She will recover, we always do.
And like you,... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend learn to give and receive compliments?
Q. My boyfriend of nearly 6 months never says nice things to me or compliments me. Now, before you say dump him I should like to make a few points before you write him off as a loser. I think it is because all his life he has received negativity from ...
A. 14 December 2007: Ok.
Firstly, you can't make a person be someone they're not. He has a problem with communicating how he feels, that my dear will never change. You can talk to him about this and express how you have a need to hear positive things. Sometime... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to be with a guy you get along with perfectly but he does not pay attention to your sexual needs so you obtain the pleasure elsewhere to balance your life??
Q. I am just about to cheat on my boyfriend of one year because of the lack of sex and affection from him. I am so disappointed as he is just such a nice guy and I love him so much and in any other ways he is perfect and I do not have any problems with ...
A. 14 December 2007: Alarm bells sweetie....loud and clear.
Whats the difference between a lover and a friend...sex!
Has he always been like this?
You know, I would tell him "that you really want to give him his space, and you've really thought about it and the... (read in full...)
He had a lap dance and wanted to 'lick' her. I consider this cheating, he doesnt.
Q. Has my husband cheated? how many would consider this to be cheating, my husband went to a lapdancing club unbeknown to me at the time, and had a private dance, full nude.I since found out by accident, heard him talking to somebody else who had been ...
A. 14 December 2007: Man, this one has made me angry.
AGGGRRRRRR!!!!!!
There are 2 kinds of men in this world I'm afraid. Those who are loyal to their women and those that are not. Lets not get down to semantics here, a man who adores his woman, loves her heart ... (read in full...)
I have been ignoring his calls. Am I being rude, or smart?
Q. There's a guy who I worked with for 6 yrs., and I never really liked being around him because he would throw fits and get mad for no reason, and start throwing things and punching things at work which the boss did nothing b/c he is afraid of ...
A. 14 December 2007: Ahhhhhh baby duck, you took the word right out of my mouth. Sociopath! Absolutely.
Please don't think that talking to this man will make him go away, ignore him, change your number if need be.... (read in full...)
My teacher is being mean to me for no apparent reason.
Q. i am 14 and my english teacher is being mean to me for no apparent reason she said she is going to move people down because they cant do the work and when she said this to the class she looked at me all the way through it and i can do the work so ...
A. 14 December 2007: You know...a good teacher can shape a young persons mind, inspire, transform, motivate. A bad teacher can have the equal and opposite effect.
I do understand you being upset by this. My art teacher treated me dreadfully. My whole life and passion ... (read in full...)
We have a brilliant relationship and hot sex life, so why does he need all these virtual chats?...
Q. why is my husband addicted to chatrooms and online flirting? why can't he realise what he's doing to me. i've caught him many times and every time he says it will stop. we have a brilliant relationship and hot sex life, so why does he need all this ...
A. 14 December 2007: Why do men do alot of things?
The problem is sweetie, sometimes our partner just doesn't see our relationship the same as we do. Some people need the thrill of flirting and mixing with the opposite sex. A monogamous relationship is very difficul... (read in full...)
How do I know if there's a chance she might like me?
Q. I have this friend thats a girl. Im starting to really like her because we have so much in common. We went skiing for the day together and had a great time. She also planned to go somewhere for my bday after she gets out of work. Is it possible that ...
A. 14 December 2007: Body language!!!!!!
Watch her body language around, if shes into you she will repeat your actions. So, if you are sitting a certain way she will mirror you, if you have a hand gesture she will mirror that.
Its hard to make the first move, espe... (read in full...)
My bf never calls me by my name. I find this strange.
Q. hi everyboby,i have a problem me and my boyfriend have been together for little over a year,the problem is he haven't said my name yet.this is very strange and driving me crazy.every time i ask him.he gives me some stupid answer.i dont know what to ...
A. 14 December 2007: Lol Phil...made me giggle.
You know my ex never called me by my name. I think its a kind of shyness. I got "hey you" alot.
After a while it really made me feel quite horrible. I craved to hear him say my name, I'd ask him to call it to me du... (read in full...)
I want to do something special, just to show him my love. Suggestions?
Q. hey everyone, i am wanting to do something nice for my boyfriend just because i love him. he has been working out of town and i just wanted to show him that i love him. any ideas or suggestions? thanks...
A. 14 December 2007: Lingerie!!
When he comes in make sure you have a warm bubble bath run for him, fill the bathroom with candles. Place a glass of his favourite wine beside the tub. Undress him and while his relaxing in it gently wash him. Have a big soft luxuriou... (read in full...)
I want to spice up sex, what can I do? (neither of us lives alone)
Q. been with my boyfriend now for three and a half years although sex is ok it need spicing up i want to do something really out of the blue that will turn him on straight away but its hard because he lives with his mum - and so do i, so the house is ...
A. 14 December 2007: With my first love we had the same problem, living at home with parents can sometimes cramp your style. We organised a bushwalk/picnic, deep in the wilderness. Found this enormous bolder climbed up and layed a blanket down and made love in the ... (read in full...)
Eating problems, constipation, stress. Any recommendations, please?
Q. dear cupid i am currently having a problem, when ever i eat, i always seem to vomit what i ate, this is to the fact that i do not want to gain weight and this has caused me to become constipated, and also the paranoia of my man boobs increasing...
A. 14 December 2007: Eating disorders are very dangerous. What you are describing is Bulimia. There are serious health complications. Not only are you depriving your body of the fibre/nutrients you need to live...hense the constipation, but they are countless medical ... (read in full...)
I am trying to conceive but every source provides different information about the most fertile period.
Q. Helllooo I am trying to conceive. The only problem is i have no idea when i am fertile. Every website tells me a different date. I have only been trying for 2 months now. I have been off birth control that long as well. Any suggestions on w...
A. 13 December 2007: I had my first child at 23, I was married at 22. I see by your age description that your 18 to 21.
I want to just say, that having a child when you are young has positives and negatives. As a positive, I'm still young and full of energy and have... (read in full...)
Concerned about the way I look. Would a girl poke fun at these potential physical imperfections?
Q. dear cupid i am 16 years of age and i get very paranoid about the way i look n the concerns are as follows: i would like to know, do girls get turned of by boys that have man boobs when they have sex? i ask this because i keep on getting scared...
A. 13 December 2007: The thing is, we all come in different shapes and sizes. Both female and male. I think in this day and age we have so much pressure to look a certain way to be deemed acceptable.
The thing you have to realise is the girls that you see around y... (read in full...)
How likely is it be that I could be pregnant?... How do antibiotics affect the protection system provided by the contraceptive pills?
Q. I am taking the contraceptive pill and had also been on antibiotics. I had unprotected sex but when this took place I hadnt taken any antibiotics for over 24 hours so i am not sure if they were still in my system and therefore affecting how my pill ...
A. 13 December 2007: Sweetie, go and speak to your local doctor. If this was a couple of days ago you can organise the morning after pill....you have a 3 day limit with that one.
It may not be a problem, but its always a good idea to see you doctor whenever you feel... (read in full...)
I miss my gf. She left after I told her I cheated on her with my friend's wife!
Q. I cheated on both my girl and my friend with his wife. so guilty i cooled things with my girl and she moved out, cant stop thinking bout my mates wife but miss my girl. so confused tried to keep both happy now have lost touch with friends wife ...
A. 13 December 2007: Hmmm...tricky.
I think before you do anything you should really marinate in this. Sit with those feelings of guilt and betrayal. Because what you are beginning to feel is that sharp sting of consequence I'm afraid. We all have these moments ... (read in full...)
My best friend (16) is pregnant with my Maths teacher's baby... What should I do?
Q. omg! iv just found out that my best friend is pregnant with my maths teachers baby. this has come as a complete shock to me because i had no idea theyd even slept together! shes really worried cos her parents will just freak out n shes also really ...
A. 13 December 2007: I'm with Kenny on this one. You need to encourage her to tell her parents. This is a problem for an adult to handle. As much as you feel you might need to step in, just be a friend.
Shes going to need a switzerland in this, neutral territor... (read in full...)
My ex has walked out of a long distance relationship with me after 2 years, supposedly because of distance, and now she's walked into another one!! Help me..
Q. Hello. it's Andy, and I'm not happy.. Tonight I finally checked my ex's profile on her facebook, after not doing so for some time. Turns out. she's going out with a guy who she used to go to college with. I'm a little taken back by this. What's ...
A. 13 December 2007: When you are hurt, its time that is the only solution Andy. I remember breaking up with a guy a few years ago and driving to work day after day with Avril Lavignes songs blasting...crying my heart out. We've all been there.
Good Luck mate. Fa... (read in full...)
My ex has walked out of a long distance relationship with me after 2 years, supposedly because of distance, and now she's walked into another one!! Help me..
Q. Hello. it's Andy, and I'm not happy.. Tonight I finally checked my ex's profile on her facebook, after not doing so for some time. Turns out. she's going out with a guy who she used to go to college with. I'm a little taken back by this. What's ...
A. 13 December 2007: Ok ......I'm not going to tel you to calm down.
However I am going to be completely honest with you.
You need to move on mate. You 2 have broken up. Shes moved on, now its time for you to do the same.
The thing is, when a girl breaks up wi... (read in full...)
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