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... Send *gissyd a private message | | | *gissyd's profile:Hi guys, I really hope I can help you. I have had a lot of hardships in my life, from being bullied for several years, to being beaten by my mother and brother, to My ex cheating on me several times. I have had depression, suicidal tendancies and many other tough experiances to name but a few. Im only 28 years old, but I have an old head on young shoulders.
I tend to put everyone else before me, and The things that make me the most happy are.
Seeing someone smile, be they stranger or family.
Making my four children happy in any way possable, without spoiling them in any way, or treating them any differently to one another.
Knowing that my third child who is physically disabled is as happy as any normal child could be.
Helping someone through a tough time, especially if it is something I have been through myself, knowing I never had help but desperatly needed it.
Knowing I have made someone happy.
Helping people.
Making my husband happy.
I live in south wales, however I havent always lived here, I have previouly lived in several locations accross mid and south England. Most of my ancesters are scotts. my husband is half welsh half dutch, though he argues (as all welsh do :D) that he is welsh.
If I can help you in any way. I will. be safe and may happiness be in your life soon xxx issy xxx
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Am I doing the right thing?
Q. I have been married for almost 10 years. We have 2 kids. We met, one month later we moved in together, on month after that I was pregnant. It all happened so fast. I tried doing the right thing and learn to love him as a husband so we got married. ...
A. 28 December 2008: you need to leave. DONT involve this other man anymore. get out completly and get your life and your kids life settled in your new place, get the divorce sorted, get a decent job. basically get yourself sorted. and worry about new relationships ... (read in full...)
Hatred for my husband!
Q. I have so much hatred for my husband. We have been married for 9 yrs and we have a 6yr old. He can never keep a job. He is always moving from one industry to the other. I have made more than him almost the entire time we've been married. He never ...
A. 28 December 2008: is he a libra? lol. my husband is the same. and now things have gotten so bad he has started to beat me. get out now hun, while you can. he wont change.... (read in full...)
My wife left with our 5 kids in December and I'm cracking up without her...
Q. I've been married 8 years and my wife left me in December saying she can't cope any more. I want her back with our 5 children, she's only 27 years old and I love her and our children very much. It's been a very lonely xmas, she has put herself and ...
A. 28 December 2008: why did she leave you? sounds like she was afraid of you, did you hurt her? control her? cheat on her? threaten her? social care... sounds like she feels you treated her pretty badly. and as alone as you are right now. have a care for how afraid and ... (read in full...)
My wife added an ex as a friend on myspace and I think this is very wrong...should I just delete him or confront her first??
Q. My wife and I are married for a little over 4 years. We were dating/engaged for about 3 years before that. So we have a lot of history and a great marriage. Question is, my wife recently set up a myspace account (with my help, she is a little c...
A. 27 January 2008: I have an account with one of these programmes, and I just taped in random names that I could half remember from my childhood, even hunting out old boyfriends for curiosity sakes.
Then you find the name but your not sure if its them, so you requ... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 21 January 2008: you are able to, if you are really at a dead end, you have tried everything and its still not right, then it is time t move on. but not to the other woman, go single for a while find yourself, sort out when you can see the kids, who they live with, ... (read in full...)
I felt a strange sense of achievment when one of my childhood bullies appologised, but how do I truly forgive them when the memories are resurfacing?
Q. how do I forgive them? When I was at school, I was bullied indecently, I dont know why, but once one started the rest followed like sheep. I have tried all my life to put those 5 years behind me, but its always there. It wasnt just a few kids eit...
A. 6 January 2008: to the latest new posters, thankyou for you comments. You have no idea how much it helps to have your encouraging words and to know I am not the only one who has suffered in these ways.
Yes the temptation to write back with a string of insults, to h... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 3 January 2008: But you had that first class life when you first started dating your wife. What you felt and experianced was the danger of forbidden love, the rush of something different and disallowed, and the whole falling in love and courting stuff.
You have... (read in full...)
I felt a strange sense of achievment when one of my childhood bullies appologised, but how do I truly forgive them when the memories are resurfacing?
Q. how do I forgive them? When I was at school, I was bullied indecently, I dont know why, but once one started the rest followed like sheep. I have tried all my life to put those 5 years behind me, but its always there. It wasnt just a few kids eit...
A. 2 January 2008: I want to thank everyone, but I think mostly the 55 yr old man whom was stabbed.
You have reminded me of what I became because of it all, and the good it did for me. My whole life has been hard so far, and I have indeed used my experiances to bett... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 2 January 2008: why didnt you want to hear her list? The reason she shuts down is because you dont want to hear what she wants to say, so she has decided if you wont listen then there is no point talking. you want to make changes? then start by listening, hear her ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of warts?
Q. I just found out that having warts means you have HPV, im really down because im on my second out break with them within the last year,im so ashamed im now a carrier, is there anything i can do get rid of them forever?...
A. 31 December 2007: lordy! My 6 year old daughter is prone to warts on her fingers, but she doesnt have any std's! Hun warts do not indicate hpv, you would have to have a test by the doctor to confirm std or sti, but warts are very common and have many causes. most ... (read in full...)
I felt a strange sense of achievment when one of my childhood bullies appologised, but how do I truly forgive them when the memories are resurfacing?
Q. how do I forgive them? When I was at school, I was bullied indecently, I dont know why, but once one started the rest followed like sheep. I have tried all my life to put those 5 years behind me, but its always there. It wasnt just a few kids eit...
A. 31 December 2007: Hi frank, thankyou.
firstly I have written a book, well several, but none of them were any good, I seem to revert back into childhood when I look back onto those years, and it all comes out as the ramblings of a child.
Im afraid I do not have the... (read in full...)
Upon meeting up with him--I got shy and awkward. I think it put him off! How do I deal with this?
Q. Well, this old classmate and i who never talked back in school recently started talking online. we got quite close, it was quite apparent we liked each other's company, although until now, i was convinced both of us just considered each other just ...
A. 30 December 2007: Your chatting to him online right? Then write to him saying your really sorry about how awkward it was, you were just really really shy that night, and you would love to try again sometime. Explain how you feel for him, and maybe give him some tips ... (read in full...)
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and the baby's movements are constant and very uncomfortable to me, what can I do to get through this?
Q. Hello everybody. This is my first time on dear cupid. I have a really unusual problem but pleeeeeeeaase can you help. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with my second child (though my first was born at 28 weeks). I am finding it extremel...
A. 25 December 2007: sorry for the lateness of my response, can you tell me exactly WHERE you are getting the pain? it may be important. many thanks xxx
By the way, Pregnancy is not so great, some women are lucky and have nice easy pregnancies, but most of us suff... (read in full...)
I've been cautioned for assault and am terrified!
Q. I have been cautioned for assault!!!!and I am terrified!! I need to add some background. I am 52 and my fiancee of 3 years is 46( we have been together for 3.5 years). WE have had problems before that I have sought advice on here about before. ...
A. 21 December 2007: this has been a problem for a loong time, she has promised and promised and promised to no avail, there have been no results. if she doesnt love you enough to try she doesnt love you. no matter how much you belive she will change, no matter how much ... (read in full...)
I know that bras and suspenders are sex for guys... but what can guys do for girls that are equally sexy??
Q. What do girls like..lik I kno a girl in a sex thong or booty shorts with a matching bra is sexy for any girl...but wat can I do 4 my girlfriend..and I'm not talking about a man thong or anything lol...wat do girls think is sexy that guys can ...
A. 21 December 2007: To be honest, women get turned on in the brain, not because of what you wear.
If she makes an effort, make it blatently obvious you really appreciate it and you find her stunning, even if she doesnt make an effort in fact! Lots of compliments most... (read in full...)
Does this online guy seem like a player??
Q. I'm 32 and a single mom, been on my own for 4 years (kid is 4.5), had been with ex for 12 years on and off (emotionally abusive relationship). So 3 months ago I met a guy online. Since then we've texted couple times a week, and he calls every ot...
A. 18 December 2007: thats wonderful hun, good luck with this one xxxx... (read in full...)
I just want to end the arguments and the whole bitterness between me and my ex but don't know how.
Q. Ive decided that this will be the last question that I write on here as this rollercoaster is getting tiring. Just wanteed to know how to end the argumement with my ex who betrayed me. I thought I had forgiven my ex for cheating on me and leavin...
A. 18 December 2007: thats fantastic stem, Im really pleased for you xxxx... (read in full...)
I love my God brother, is this wrong?
Q. i loved my god brother. i know we cannot have any relationship but i don't know to stop my feeling toward him. is it a mistake for loving our own god brother? i kept thinking of him day and night. i even sometimes thought him as my bf. what shou...
A. 16 December 2007: YOur god brother is the son of your god mother or god father? correct?
In which case he is not your god brother as they do not exist. You are not related to this boy so there is nothing wrong with it. If he likes you back then go for it. xxx... (read in full...)
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and the baby's movements are constant and very uncomfortable to me, what can I do to get through this?
Q. Hello everybody. This is my first time on dear cupid. I have a really unusual problem but pleeeeeeeaase can you help. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with my second child (though my first was born at 28 weeks). I am finding it extremel...
A. 15 December 2007: Hello. No it is not unusual to be in pain with the movements, though it shouldnt last too long, usually its at the worst in the change over from second to third trimester, which is where you are now.
Try to put up with it for a few more week... (read in full...)
My husband's cat is very dirty, makes noise, has attacked a friend - I'm concerned about my babies' safety, yet my partner wants to keep it!
Q. I really dislike my husband's cat! She's 11 yrs. old, she has long hair that falls out in clumps, I have found little clumps of hair that have feces in it, all over the house..I am 6 months pregnant and I have an 8 month old and I do not want this ...
A. 15 December 2007: ok so you have here the people who no nothing about animals telling you to get rid, then you have the animal enthsiasts telling you your cruel, then you have those of us who own and love cats, but also have children so we see both sides.
if the cat ... (read in full...)
My fiancee snooping in my emails, can I trust her?
Q. I am a little unsure what to do about my fiancée who reads my emails. She first did it while I was in Iraq for one year. She read an email from an ex-girlfriend of 6 years before, which I always had some contact to. In the email, we discussed her ...
A. 15 December 2007: should you trust her? yes, should she trust you? definatly not.... (read in full...)
Are these signs of pregnancy? What else could they mean? I've tender breasts, stomachaches, backaches and vomit.
Q. Think i could be pregnant all of a sudden throwing up tender breasts stomache and back aches dardnt go to the doctors or tell ANYONE il get called a slag at my school what else can it be? what can i do?any anwers appriciated!! x x xx xx xx ...
A. 14 December 2007: Have you had your period? if not then your probably pregant, get to the chemists for a test, there is no age limit on preganacy tests, if your worried about anyone who knows you seeing you, go to a large town for one. if you are pregas then get to ... (read in full...)
My husband's cat is very dirty, makes noise, has attacked a friend - I'm concerned about my babies' safety, yet my partner wants to keep it!
Q. I really dislike my husband's cat! She's 11 yrs. old, she has long hair that falls out in clumps, I have found little clumps of hair that have feces in it, all over the house..I am 6 months pregnant and I have an 8 month old and I do not want this ...
A. 14 December 2007: Ok, first she is 11 years old, she doesnt have long left in this world.
Second, has she been spayed? a lot of female cats get really cranky as they get older if they have been spayed, something to do with hormones.
If you are finding clumps o... (read in full...)
How do I stop my large breasts giving me stretch marks?
Q. I have size 30G breasts and I hate it because I have recently started getting stretch marks because they keep on growing. Does anyone have any ideas, help or tips on how i can prevent this because the marks are making me afraid to ever show any ...
A. 14 December 2007: Helhel, big breasts DO NOT make you look thin!
Is it me or do we have a hacker or two in here today??
there is alot of similar questions and ages etc...
Anyway, as to the big boob question...
Get a good support bra, underwired and padded is be... (read in full...)
Breasts developing methods - avoiding side effects? Also, what do you think of padded bras?
Q. hello everyone i'm pakistani. i'm going to get married i'm woorried abt my figure. I' m 23 years old,my hight is 5'3" my weight is 44kg.i have small breasts like A cup.i get called names and fel ambarassed.so i have to use padded bra......... my...
A. 14 December 2007: hello. There are no creams or pills that make your breasts larger. the best way is to do lot of special exercise, A gym will have the right equipment and training for this.
Or you can speak to your doctor to discuss hormone therapy, though I do not ... (read in full...)
Christmas present dilemma. Bought her a present last year, which she didn't reciprocate, so how do I proceed THIS year?
Q. Right i got a christmas present dilemma! Last year, i bought a friend a present 4 xmas (Big box of malteasers) and i never got anything back! Even though she kept saying that she was gonna send me some money in a card! Anyway I put that in the ...
A. 14 December 2007: Get her a present, tell her merry xmas, and give her a kiss under the mistletoe. Honestly! I have to ask you now, why do you expect her to give you a gift? A person does not give only to receive. Its good to give those we care for gifts, its selfish ... (read in full...)
How likely is it to get pregnant on day 9 of your cycle...?
Q. Hey there guys... I know that there is a possibility of pregnancy during ANY time of your cycle..but I know there are more likely and unlikely times... I was wondering how likley it is to get pregnant on day 9 of your cycle...? bearing in mind spe...
A. 14 December 2007: Im going from memory here, but If I remember corectly, your MOST fertile days are between 10 and 14 days, so yes day 9 would be a pretty fertile time.
I just did a little search and found this, it may be of some interest to you and will answer some... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and I have no muscles/body fat
Q. Help I'm 15 and I don't have any muscles yet. this is really embarassing because i have a cousin who is completely buff(muscular). Its affecting my self esteem. I work out every day as well yet i'm still tall and scrawny... what to do......
A. 13 December 2007: Just because you have a lean body, doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you. To be honest, you sound HEALTHIER than your cousin, because to build up his buffness he would have had to pile on the calories carbs and fat, just to have something to ... (read in full...)
She's got me hooked
Q. I met a new work colleague 14 months ago. I noticed her intelligence and quirky sense of humour straight away, although I wasn’t immediately attracted to her. During the passing months I have come to realise she’s such a beautiful person in every ...
A. 13 December 2007: Im glad you have decided not to get involved, be her friend when she needs to talk, but try not to let chemistry get into the mix. If she picks up on your feelings for her it will only add to her problems.
Take care, I hope you meet the right girl... (read in full...)
Does a mistress respect a man who leaves his family, for her?
Q. I have heard of some women dating men who are not available. How does a woman feel if that man left his wife and kids for them. Do they respect that man and does the relationship usually work out?...
A. 9 December 2007: insecure, always waiting for that guy to cheat on them too. Total lack of trust.... (read in full...)
Should a guy still be a gentleman?
Q. Should a guy still be a gentleman? Should i open car doors, Pay for dinner, Give compliments or write poetry? Or should i go down the pub while my girlfriend stays home and iron my clothes and gets ready to "Give me some" when i get home? I try to d...
A. 9 December 2007: you should be yourself. forget what other guys do, they are not important, and those in the later section rarely keep a girl for long if they treat them like that.
Women love a gentleman, as long as its not one you can walk all over, women need to h... (read in full...)
I just want to end the arguments and the whole bitterness between me and my ex but don't know how.
Q. Ive decided that this will be the last question that I write on here as this rollercoaster is getting tiring. Just wanteed to know how to end the argumement with my ex who betrayed me. I thought I had forgiven my ex for cheating on me and leavin...
A. 9 December 2007: First of all, you need to get a solicitor involved. You need to work out child maintenance if you havent already, and you need a court order drawn up for exactly when he can see the kids, what he can or cannot do when they are with him and how long ... (read in full...)
Will he always put me 'after' his Mom and sister...am I to be the last place gf?
Q. My boyfriends sister is coming to visit in two weeks. When we were discussing where she was going to sleep he said in our bed. He does not want his sister to sleep in the guest room because he doesn't want his sister to have to sleep in there. He ...
A. 9 December 2007: my mother in law always sleeps in our bed too, when she visits. But I dont mind so much, its only for one night. Have you asked him where your expected to sleep? Have you offered to make the spare room nicer for his sister? new sheets, maybe a lick ... (read in full...)
I look after my parents and can't move to my bf..what can I do?
Q. Hello I am 38 years old and still live with my parents as i cant afford anything else, and as i am an only child and with no family close by i am my parents carer. The problem is that i have met somebody who lives a round trip of 100 miles away, ...
A. 9 December 2007: you cannot be tied to your parents forever, what exactly is it that you stay with them for? what do you do for them? if they NEED youto care for them then they are entitled to having a carer, even a live in carer if they need 24/7 care. So why do ... (read in full...)
Does size matter? I'm 5-11, he's 6-5 and 225 pounds!
Q. I have been dating my gf for about a year now. I recently saw pictures of the last guy she dated. He is 6-5 225 pounds and in shape. I'm 5-11 and in avg shape. Sometimes I worry that because her ex was a physically tall/big guy that it means he ...
A. 6 December 2007: hunny, there is absolutely no foundation in that myth! Same with the big hands big feet big !**! myth, tottally untrue!
Trust me.
as to the tight at the beggining not so now, that may well be so, but its likely because when you first started,... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys who want to marry me.
Q. Two guys in my life: one educated, has money, basically of good status been dating for close to one year, but not caring, loving ever busy, no time for us. The other one, not educated, not well off. 10 years older, has kids but separated with mot...
A. 6 December 2007: ok, so a cold marrage with money, or a warm marrage struggling like the rest of the world? seems easy to me xxxx... (read in full...)
Does this online guy seem like a player??
Q. I'm 32 and a single mom, been on my own for 4 years (kid is 4.5), had been with ex for 12 years on and off (emotionally abusive relationship). So 3 months ago I met a guy online. Since then we've texted couple times a week, and he calls every ot...
A. 6 December 2007: Sounds like a guy who has known you for a while, and been scared to approach you, finally found you online and realised that was the only way you would ever know he existed. Go with what peiriaman says, make a date to meet him, but somewhere public ... (read in full...)
He told me he loved me and that he was getting a divorce... but now he's not sure!
Q. I used to see this man i work with as a brother because he was married and i just didnt see him any other way. Then he told me he loved me and that he was getting a divorce. At first i told him no, and then i realised i really liked him. We w...
A. 6 December 2007: No this is not going to help you. You have trust issues and decide to date a man who cannot be faith-full to his wife?
You need to call this off, maybe stay friends if you want, but no more relationship.
If he does get divorced then fair play, bu... (read in full...)
Is it possible to draw a line in flirting?
Q. Is it possible to flirt and talk dirty to someone via email and verbally and not be physically attracted to them? I.E.. would you flirt with someone that you had no physical chemistry with? And is it possible to draw a line if the flirting its too...
A. 6 December 2007: Hello!
Yes it is TOTTALLY POSSABLE! I am married with four kids and love my husband dearly, but I have a few friends spread throughout the world whom I regularly chat with, some are male and one in particular I flirt with a fair amount. He live... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a paedophile?
Q. I started talking to an older guy at the age of 14. I am now 23 and he and I are happily married. He was 22 at the time. The problem is this... now that I am older, I wonder if maybe my boyfriend is a pedophile? I read up on the internet that there ...
A. 6 December 2007: YOu are allowing your fears to overcome rationality. You are a full grown woman now, and he is still interested. If he continues to show interest in children, then maybe there is a problem, but if he is more intersted in adults, then I dont see much ... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 30 November 2007: I have a feeling she is trying really hard, or has been trying really hard, but because she is not doing it the way you expect her to do it, you are not seeing the changes.
You need to work on the resentment issues, find some release from them, and ... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 28 November 2007: Im really pleased you are both trying, but you have a fair amount of resentment to your wife, Im wondering why. what did she do to deserve your resentment? why do you feel the need to make her feel guilty for your mistakes? I think you really n... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 26 November 2007: This is going to be tough, not for me, for you. Im sorry.
I do feel for you, really I do. the affair was very wrong, but you know that.
I not sure what it is you want us to tell you. Im not going to tell you to leave your wife just because she ... (read in full...)
She's got me hooked
Q. I met a new work colleague 14 months ago. I noticed her intelligence and quirky sense of humour straight away, although I wasn’t immediately attracted to her. During the passing months I have come to realise she’s such a beautiful person in every ...
A. 24 November 2007: Hi there, Im going to view you as a guy who oce had a crush on me, Im married and I have children, I liked this guy as a friend but no more, he tried to use the same tactics as you are and it left me feeling confused too.
One day he actually pluc... (read in full...)
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