A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been seeing this guy for 4 months but he only texts or phones me on a saturday night to meet and come back mine when hes out with his mates, is thier any possibility hes interested in a relationship or is he just using me for sex, i really do like this guy and wont bring up how i really feel incase i frighten him off. i just seem to go with what he wants all the time. what should i do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): 4 months in and he's still doing the 11pm sex run? He doesn't take you out on dates, he doesn't call you to go out with his friends, or alone for that matter. What on earth do you want to have a relationship with him for? Either he's so outstanding to you in the brief hours you are together, or you have low self esteem and are grateful to this man for showing you this minimal attention. I suspect it's the latter. You can't discuss the prospect of a relationship because you're worried it will scare him off, although you are giving him your body whenever he wants it. The quickest way to find out if he wants you just for sex? Next time he calls, ignore it then send him a text saying that you really like him but don't want to be used for sex, so not to call again unless it's for something other than a bootie call. He'll no doubt call back and say he really likes you and could he please come round when his night with the boys has ended, but ignore him. He is using you for sex, there's no doubt in my mind about that. If he liked you as potential girlfriend material, he would want to spoil you, take you out, show you off. Not call you after a night out with the lads for a quickie before falling asleep - and please don't tell me you make him breakfast in the morning, although I suspect he doesn't hang around too long. To be honest, I'd tell him to get lost and never see him again, how dare he come round whenever he feels like it - who the hell does he think he is? (I'm angry for you - sorry about that!). But he only does that because you let him. If you genuinely like him then the only thing to do is ignore him and see if he comes running. If he doesn't, get your glad rags on and get yourself off down the pub to meet someone new - and this time, play the virgin mary card. No matter what anyone says, a man would rather be with somoeone who is a little difficult to get, makes their caveman instinct come out (wish I could take you out with me and my mates - I'd make you soon forget he existed!!). Best of luck XX
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (14 October 2007):
 If you really like this guy I think you should discontinue allowing him to get away with this set up. He will respect you more if you respect yourself. If you are uncomfortable with telling him how you feel then you should start by telling him you are not available the next time he calls. This may be enough for him to think about the type of relationship he has with you. I couldn't say if he wants more or not. Eventually you will need to tell him how you feel if you want a solid relationship with him. If you frighten him away, so be it. You are too good to have this type of a relationship, unless it is all that you want as well. However, it sounds like you want more. There are many good men out there. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (14 October 2007):
 All the time you give him what he wants he is going to keep on treating you like this, i agree with Tommy7 you need to get rid and move on you deserve better than this.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (14 October 2007):
I think has the relationship he wants. Dump him and move on.
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