A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice about what to do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me:/ So there is this guy and we’ve had a good/bad friendship. Well I liked him and I guess he liked me. He knew I had a crush on him. He’s treated me badly. He likes to take me out of his life and then add me back in whenever he wants. I know he was mean but I’ve forgiven him.I've just realized i really really like and care about this guy. what makes me upset is that i shouldn't. he's been very mean and just ughhh. The things he’s done include: he added my friends on facebook and flirted with them even though he knew I liked them, he deletes me and then adds me on facebook ( I’m so so so sick of this), he was going out with this girl and instead of just telling me he deleted me off facebook and ignored me(october). After he broke up He then added me again on faceboook and we were friends up till November, but then I became friends with his ex and her bestfriend, and then he send us a message on facebook saying when you guys start fighting and arguing please don’t come to me and complain. I just thought that was stupid because hadn’t even started arguing he was just making assumptions that us three girls were going to argue. how conceited, i wouldn't even argue over him, maybe i would..lol.but it makes me mad he thinks so much of himself. He then deleted all of three of us. Later that night he chatted with me on msn and I was like why would u delte me and he was like I just wanted to delte a couple of people its not just you.blah..blah..excuses..and I’m like whatever. So I just didn’t talk to him for a while, and then he sent me a message on myspace asking me if I wanted to chill on Friday. I didn’t respond back.and in the morning in school he came up to me and was like did you not get my message and I just looked at him and he’s like I saw u got on and I was like watever. He’s like so can u go?...I’lll give u a ride if you want.. I’m like idk I’ll thiknk about it, and he’s like that’s what you said last time and I’m like well I’m mad at you. And he’s like why? And I’m like cuz u deleted me off facebook and he’s like then JUST ADD ME..i’m like umm I’m not going to add you after you deleted me. Then I just left. Later that night I got the friend request. I didn’t add him cuz I was still upset because he’s deleted me like three times now..my friend told me not to add him again...I wasn’t I just left the friend request for one day. . He then sent an IM the next day asking me why I haven’t added him yet. I was like idk I’ll think about it. He’s like JUST ADD ME..i’m like whatever.i added him..but I told him this is the LAST TIME. He said ok. So for the past three weeks everything has been good. Like he chats with me, we flirt on facebook and sometimes at school, and its just been good. But sometimes when I think about it I get scared. I see him at school and I want to go up to him but I just can’t and don’t sometimes. I don’t know I feel disappointed, like whats the point u know..so I just don’t. I’m not able to go out with him cuz of my parents and just some issues I have right now. SO I’m like whats the point anymore, no need to tryyy. But I see him and I would usually go up to him and talk to him but now i just don't i want to but i just don't..if you understand what i'm saying..idk why:( I just wish I didn’t see him cuz its just scaryyyy getting to close, its dangerous, just hoping, idk want to feel hurt again. And I just hate the fact that he knows that I like him. So I just want to be like I don’t give a shit about you..but I just can’t..it shows that I do. And I hate that I show that I do like him..cuz he acts like i'm just a girl he knows..he thinks he can have anybdoy.. But everytime after I talk to him and he leaves I get this weird feeling in my stomache. Like it’s a goooood time but then I come back to reality and remember all that has happened. When I think about all the stuff he put me through and how he’s made me felt. Like I used to think and kinda still think I’m not good enough for him. I get this weird feeling like fear, like I don’t want it to happen again. I think he just really really really HURT me even though we were never bf/gf. I feel like he’s really affected me. Do you know what’s wrong with me? Do you think I should still be talking to him? Even when I want to ignore him I see him at school and I can’t just not say hi or talk to him u know. Do u think I should just move on? I’m just realllly CONFUSED :(..what is wrong with me? :( :( :(
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broke up, crush, facebook, flirt, his ex, move on, msn, myspace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 He is toxic, and you need to move on.
As for your feeling you are not good enough, hey, you got that round the wrong way, he is not good enough, not good enough for you or for any girl who is sensitive and caring. You be the one to take charge, and a good place to start would be blocking him on facebook and refusing any future requests for friend status. I would make sure your facebook settings are to friends only.
And you dont need to talk to him, I am not saying be rude and ignore him, but you dont need to actively seek him out only to have him shoot your down - a hello and a nod of the head when you see him to acknowledge him will be sufficient.
It might take a little while but just as when we need to remove toxins from the body, when we remove toxic relationships from our lives big improvements soon follow.
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