A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need some help from someone, ive been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months so not very long and he loves me so much but i dont feel the same way, i really like him but im not attracted to him in any way so find it very hard to have a physical relationship with him but i try because his looks might grow on me i hope. this guy who i have had a big crush on has asked me to go on a date with him and he to is a lovely guy as well and im very attracted to him so i want to say yes to him so much but then i feel mean on my boyfriend and i dont want to hurt him so i stay unhappy to make him happy. please help me x x
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female
reader, trigger18 +, writes (2 December 2009):
hey,
ive bin in ur situation before and the truth is it wont last long. the guy i was with was head over heels baout me but i just wasnt attracted to him in any way and it made things very hard for me. in the end i broke it off and hes fine. he moved on. i had been asked out by some else that i was attracted and we are still together. there is no point in stringing this guy along which is in effect wot u are doing. its not fair on either of u.
good luck xx
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Simple. I'm afraid you have to finish with the boy you don't fancy, because otherwise you risk losing the guy you do. And also because it isn't fair on the first one. Do it. He will live.
x
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Oh dear, nice sentiments but really you are not being fair to your boyfriend or yourself.
You need to gently break it to your boyfriend that its not working, and that the chemistry just isnt there. He will be hurt but far better to be hurt now than 10 years down the track when it finally gets too much for you and you hurl the history (yet to happen) in his face.
Please do not make plans with the new boy before you break up with the old one, otherwise its a case of rejecting him for a different model, and that would be really hurtful.
And hoping his looks might grow on you, we all know that looks arent supposed to be the be all and end all, but deep down if we are honest with ourselves, if he isnt pleasing to your eye there isnt much hope for the relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): (male, 60) - jeepers, lady, you can't go on like this. It's no good to you and it's no good you your BF either. What's going to happen when he meets someone who thinks he's absolutely adorable? Are you just keeping him warm until then? Make a clean break right now. You already have the words - "I really like you but I'm just not that into you." You need to let go so you can both be free and unattached and be open to whatever new opportunities arise. Right now you are each dragging on the other.Also, your BF is probably aware of this unless he's a completely unfeeling block of stone.
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