A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have got advice on here before which was helpful so this was the first place I came to today because of a big upset.My partner and I split up a few months ago but stayed in touch over the phone and agreed to meet up this week. He can be very insecure and this has caused a lot of arguments and then this week, he got angry about something that happened.I came across a cyclist who had had a fit on his bike and got thrown off on a main road and was lying looking pale and barely conscious on the pavement. I was with my daughter and we called an ambulance which was taking ages and we got really scared and didn't knwo what to do so I called my ex who works just nearby to see if he could help (he works as a police officer) - I called him on the off chance and as it happened he was not around (I left a voice message). Soon after that the accident victim came round and told us he was epileptic so i sent my partner a text to say 'it's ok all sorted now'. Anyway he got really angry and said 'why don't go on a date with the biker am I your pet pig who you just phone when you need something - i was going to meet you on friday but not now'. I know he has had some problems and this partly caused our break up but i was really happy that we were going to meet and now he seems to have gone mad over this incident.I am really upset and he just kept texting and going on and on about this biker and said he was changing his mobile number and was just using up all his credit to text me until he binned the phone and binned me. Does anyone have any insights into this behaviour? He has had issues with control and verbal issue, both with me and his ex wife and another ex. However I did love him as he can be loving and generous and we had many happy times together. He got irritated about all the above and I texted him a joke saying that he could have been a hero and rescued us all like Batman (I was joking trying to lighten the mood and he likes watching Batman films etc) but he seems to not see any funny side at all and sent a text saying 'does the cyclist/biker know you gave me up for him'??I am actually really upset by this and I wonder if he is just mentally unwell and I am wasting my time even trying to sort this out but I do really miss him as he was the love of my life and we were together for many years. I hope this makes sense sorry if its a bit disjointed but I feel so upset at the moment. Any comments would be gratefully received. Thank you.
View related questions:
ex-wife, his ex, insecure, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Wow.. big anger issues, jealous of a stranger, aggressive too... Likes to be in control, and when he can't control things.. (YOU) then he shouts abuse... Are we talking about a grown adult man or a 5year old throwing a tantrum. He's acting like a child, you are an adult, so treat him like you would a naughty child. He has to learn he can not continue to behave this way. He sounds spoiled to the core, always wants his own way. Leave it alone for now. He'll calm down soon enough, and will apologise and promise not to talk to you like that again. Don't call or contact him, and if he calls you, tell him you need to think hard about whether you want to continue such an aggessive and destructive relationship with him. Give a month or so, and then contact him and have a long talk about what behaviour you will accept and things you will not.That's if you want to keep in contact with him.. I like adult men, not children who can't keep their temper. I wouldn't touch a guy like this with a barge pole. Your life will be much calmer and happier without him.
A
female
reader, Miss Polly +, writes (3 December 2009):
 I honestly feel that you're wasting your time and causing yourself unecessary heartache by being back in touch with your ex.For a start he doesn't seem to trust you and seems to be hinting that you've told him lies about your involvement with the biker e.g that it was platonic and he was a stranger.He may well have mental problems, you may well have had good times and you may well have loved him, but this doesn't excuse his behaviour towards you.He's an adult and I'm sure there'll be someone to turn him in the right direction if he needs somekind of help, but he's not your responsibility.The relationship obviously ended for a reason and you may well miss him, but I promise you won't feel that way forever.I can't determine from your question whether your daughter is his daughter too?, if so take a step back and try to come to an understanding that you'll help eachother raise your little girl in a way that's civil, if not just concentrate on her and your mother/daughter relationship, sounds to me like he'd be an unpleasant person to have around your daughter any longer anyway.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): I am not sure that he's mentally ill, he has a temper for sure, and gets angry easy. My question ishat are you doing meeting him after you guys split up and keeping in touch, what is your situation w/him, have you desided to stay friends?
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 You are right, he is mentally unbalanced, and you are wasting your time, and in light of the fact you have a daughter, I would put as much distance, physically and emotially, between you and him as you can.
He actually sounds quite dangerous to me.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 December 2009):
WHOA! There's my comment. Take away all your emotion from this situation and look closely at all the facts
Fact, he is already an ex, and therefore you have already broken up for reasons.
Fact, he is verbally abuseive to you for no reason, he's controlling and frankly a disgrace to his proffession.
Fact, he has acted this way with an ex wife and another ex girlfriend.
Happy times can be faked, as they have been by him. This man is a serious danger to you and your daugher. Do not ever go out with him again. Yes, he is seriously unstable, and that's me putting it lightly as well. Please leave him in the past, as his other exes did, all for the same reason as you. He is your ex because he isn't the guy for you.
...............................
|
