A
female
age
30-35,
*ayna
writes:im one of those troubled by a recent broken relationship after about 1.5 yrs and i dont know what to do. it was VERY suprising and sudden for both of us, he saw a pic of me before we met with some guys and he flipped and left. he wanted to be friends after but then all he asks for now is time, i want to know what are my chances..originally he said to stay away, no contact, then he contacted me and after i got a bit too clingy he asked for time and space and threatened to change his numbers, its been about 2 - 3 days now, with me not texting/calling etc. will he contact me? what do i do? is there a chance that we might be more than friends if he does contact me?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 The best thing to do is keep your distance. The last thing he will want is you trying to persue him(it is actually seen as desperate and a bit of a turn off). Especially seeing as you stated you got "too clingy." I dont know if you thought you were or he told you he was, but it would be best to things cool out between him and you.
Obviously you care for him deeply and this explosion has rocked your world, changed the relationship, but not your feelings. You obviously want him back, but I think you should start loving yourself a bit more and not let him make you feel bad about your past. You are a special, dedicated and worth more than the treatment you are getting. For his birthday you could send him a happy birthday message, but dont expect him to come back to you or hurt if he ignores you. Its clear he doesn't have the feelings required to treat you like the woman you are.
HonningKanin
A
female
reader, Rayna +, writes (2 December 2009):
Rayna is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, that really boosts me up a bit, but still, its so hard, its like im unable to have any fun, all the things that use to fun just dont matter anymore.. i wish there was someway i could undo everything that has happenned.. its driving me crazy. his birthday is also on Friday and im so scared i dont even know whether to contact him, maybe i should just send a short mail? my god..i miss him.
...............................
A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (2 December 2009):
I still say it doesn't matter whether it was innocent or not. You dont need forgiveness for something you did before he came on the seen. If he cant live with your past then quite frankly he is rejecting you. You and your past come as a pair. You cant change it and I personally would find someone who can appereciate you having a past and acknoledging that it shaped you into who you are today. Dont let him make you feel bad for a drunken night you had ages ago. Thats childish.
HonningKanin
...............................
A
female
reader, Rayna +, writes (2 December 2009):
Rayna is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsighs* its not quite that simple u see, the picture wasnt as innocent. i was extremely drunk and i didnt even know such a picture existed. he says he forgives me but cant live with my past. i dont know what to do, i just wish he would come back.
...............................
A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (2 December 2009):
I wouldn't even care if the position was compromising. The picture was simply taken before you and he were ever together. Plain and simple as that. If he cannot handle you having a past and or life before him than he is essentially saying he doesn't appreciate the things that happened to you that made and shaped who you are today. Someone supposidly he liked before his "traumatic encounter" with a picture.
I have to ask you though, Why do you want to be with someone this childish? He is handleling this very badly and if at any point in your relationship had told you he loved you, this is a sign it was completely conditional. If he handled a picture like this, how on earth would he react to more serious matters?
Personally I would count my losses and move on to someone who is a little more rational and more sincere. I dont think normal people, who are deeply inlove with their partner, would freak out over a picture. I personally would suspect alterior motive. Either he no longer wanted to be in the relationship and used this as a lame excuse by blowing it out of proportion or he really is this easily disillusioned in having a relationship with you. Either way I would say good riddens to bad rubbish.
HonningKanin
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 This is outrageous for him to blame breaking up with you on a picture taken before you even met ..... unless you were starkers and in a compromising position of course!
If the picture was innocent, I would take a guess that he is just using it as an excuse .. if he is using it as an excuse chances are he already has somebody lined up to take your place!
Good riddance if that is the case, I wouldnt even listen to the "let's just be friends" line because that seldom works out either
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): Do you really want a relationship with someone who flips out so easily? Especially about things that happened before you were with him?
...............................
|
