A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi , I am just out of a long relationship. i am doing my masters and became close to one of my classmates. He jokes light heartedly about me and is always ready to help me. But hes not very good at talking about emotions and feelings and hence we havent really talked about relationships etc.A few weeks a ago we were drunk , we kissed and made out, and we never talked about it. A few days later I met him again and we ended up making out again. This time I tried to speak to him to ask him what he wants . He said if you think this will affect our friendship we can stop.I wasnt sure what that meant but I said no, and we made out again, and I am certain the next time I see him we will have sex.We talk a lot over chat and phone , but we dont go out on dates or anything. We usually just plan to meet at his place or mine , for a few drinks, and watch a movie or two. And this is how we usually end up making outI understand hes not my boyfriend right now, but do you think he may want to be? or does he just see me as a booty call?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, MichaelProops  +, writes (23 February 2010):
Sometimes it suits both men and women to have just a physical relationship. However, these are usually short-lived and not very fulfilling. Occasionally though, they may carry on infrequently over many years, even when one of the partners is married - the sex may just be amazing!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): If you have to ask this question at all, then at least 9 times out of 10 you are a booty call.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): Thanks guys, for your thoughts.
But I think I forgot to mention though that its not like I only see him when we are drinking. We have a group of friends and as a group we go out a lot. Many of my friends in this group are certain he likes me because of the way he behaves.
He pays a lot of attention to me, laughs at everything I say and things like that. We kid about a lot about a whole range of stuff.
Does this change anything or are all the arrows still pointing to booty call?
P.S. - I wish he would open up easily about what he wants relationships -wise. I have no clue whether he wants something fun or serious, whether he has even had a relationship in the past. Having gotten out of something serious myself, I am not really in commitment mode right now either. If we could just talk about what he wants ... That would make things so much easier. sigh
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A
female
reader, Lovely Sweet Laura  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 If he wanted you as his girlfriend than he would be taking you out on dates. The fact that he mentioned not ruining the friendship means that is all he is looking for. If you aren't interested in being that than tell him you are worried about the friendship being ruined so you would prefer to just be friends without benefits. Cheers!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 If this man wanted more you would know about it by now, the fact you dont go out but only hang out at each other's places ostentatiously to watch a movie but in reality to drink enough to then have sex is a very strong indicator.
You are a booty call, so decide if that is enough or if you need to be washing your hair next time he calls.
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