A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I,ve been dating my boyfriend since the beginning of November and he was happy for about 2 weeks. Now he tells mehow depressed he is and It hurts me coz I thought I was making him happy .I,ve tried everything to help him and Now he,s withdrawn from everything and everyone He used 2 tell me e loved me and nowHe wont :( We,ve known each other for 2 years now and he wont tell me whats wrong with him. and now to make things worse he wont talk to his friends : Please help Its Breaking my Heart :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): When you say everything does that include trying to get him to talk about it besides asking him directly? Now I'm no psychologist or anything but I'm pretty sure leaving him or otherwise patronizing him would only make hims feel a lot worse. I don't know if a month's time is really enough time for someone to reveal something major to a girlfriend. No offense but its not like you're his wife. You're his girlfriend which means your relationship is only just beginning to intensify so you really need to try and strengthen your relationship primarily through effective communication at this point. If he won't talk about it out right (which realistically isn't that unreasonable) then you need be the one who is open first. And it doesn't have to be a lot, just little; something to make him feel that you have feelings too and its not wrong to feel depressed sometimes.
When someone is depressed for a long period of time it's usually something hard to get to so don't be so dismayed that even after many attempts at communicating he still won't answer. Remember that the goal isn't to reach in and fix him, it's to understand him. I think if you make that distinction clear then he'll probably be more willing to open up. And be sure to let him know that its okay if he doesn't want to talk about it, he's entitled to that much. Just however you decide to talk to him do not talk to him as if he is the problem and you are the victim; that too would make things much worse.
A
female
reader, KANDIWRPR  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 really there has to be a reason why he is depressed
mayb its just that time of the teenage year
it happened to me before
i would just hide behind fake smiles
and not talk to anyone
but i forced myself to go out with my friends and have fun
take him out see if by Dec ish if he gets better
tell him that you love him and that it hurts you to see
him like that
tell him you want the old happy him back
and that you are willing to help him through his
problems so tell him to open up to you
even if its slowly
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 You have been dating since the beginning of November and it is now the beginning of December. A month. If he wont communicate his problem to you, after such a short time, imagine what he will be like in 6 months time, or even a year. Better to walk away now rather than let the broken heart crumble and crack after a longer period of time.
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