A
female
age
30-35,
*wenabee
writes:I have a question that may offend some people, for which I'm sorry, I just feel like I can't ask anyone I know, because they'll judge me.I'm a 16 year old female, and started my periods when I was 12. Every month, I get such extreme stomach cramp that I can't bear to move for a whole day, and I tend to vomit and faint as well. I get so depressed about it, I end up just crying my eyes out whenever I get my period. Now for the potentially offensive part;I've never wanted children, and don't think I ever will. I know how terrible a mother I'd be, and I wouldn't want to make a child suffer for my lack of ability. So, I'm seriously considering getting a hysterectomy. I know that it seems selfish, because there are so many women who want children, and would have the ability to take care of them, but are infertile. I know some of you will be wondering why I'm giving up any chance of pregnancy or birth just because I ache every month. But this has only been happening for 4 years, and already I feel near suicidal when the pain starts. If I had a hysterectomy, I would consent to the doctors harvesting my eggs, and doing whatever they like with what they remove. I just really have a phobia of becoming pregnant aswell, the thought of having something living inside me makes me feel physically sick. I've been told so many times that the female body is designed to have children, but I just don't think mine is.Please help me, what I really want to know is your thoughts, how to go about telling my mum this, and how to actually get a hysterectomy (if I decide to go through with it.)Thank you for your time, and any comments you make.xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Your too young.. no doctor will give you the operation at your age.
A
female
reader, Jackie63 +, writes (19 February 2009):
My mother never EVER wanted children... but then she had me... aged almost 40. Obviously, people can change their mind. You could have a child until you're around 45 maximum, you have almost thirty years to change your mind. Hysterectomy is definitive. Don't do it, even if you happen not to have children in the end. I'm sort of like you, I think I'll never, ever have children. I'm 25 but I can't take a decision I might regret later on. Please try and find other ways of not getting painful periods. And no, I'm not offended that you don't want children, just worried you'll change your mind when it's too late.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): I went through the same problem i even had to go to the hospital it got so bad and i learned i had something called endometriosis i had to get surgery to remove it and they put me on the pill. Please go to a dr tell them about your pain it could be something more serious like i had. And about getting a hysterectomy they wont give you one unless you needed it. I wished i wouldnt have kids either till i got older and fell in love my mind has changed yours will to.
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A
female
reader, stephanie1994 +, writes (3 February 2009):
hi , i have bad periods every month aswell but i dont vomit and faint but i miss school alot because of it. I think you should just wait for a bit because i dont think you are aloud to have one at your age and you might change your mind when your older i know it might not seem that way now but you might change your mind and you will totally regret it and you might be with a man and he might want children and that will ruin your relationship with him and you will lose him.Please wait until your 20 or something.In the meantime: hot water bottles,paracetamol,wheat bags,etc.....
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A
female
reader, HeartASHXOXO  +, writes (3 February 2009):
I know what you mean... i faint, vomit when im on mine and stuff... i cant o to school and the bleeding is otrageouss... sorry i know its gross. I went to the docter and asked about what your trying to get done now... they reccomended birth control to make my pd. better but the said they will not/ impossible to preform that on someone w/ out a huge reason S;a my friends mom got one b/c something in her couldnt stop bleeding so she almost died frm haveing her pd. for 3 mos straight
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (3 February 2009):
babe they won't just take away your uterus because of bad period pains. they only do that if there is a major medical problem. ok your periods may be really awful, but there are other things you can do, such as go on the pill.
you may not want kids now, not many 16 year olds do. but when you meet a great guy and one day you may want kids and then what? you have to adopt or something. like i said before they won't just do an op like that because you want it.
my mum had one done and she had to go on HRT, which brought on the menopause. do you really want menopause at 16 years old? hot flushes, sweats, mood swings,the odd hair growing on your face. this stuff happens!
also for you to say you want this major op is kinda worrying, a girl i knew was only 20 when she HAD to have a hysterectomy and it was awful for her. at the time she didn't want kids, but then she met a guy got engaged and realised she would never had children with him. this lead to the break down of their relationship. i know not everyone with fertility problems break up, but it put alot of pressure on the relationship and like i said it was not a choice for her. she HAD to have it. talk you your doctor about other ways of helping with bad periods, you will find that there is an easier option then having a major operation.
also another side effect from having a hysterectomy is that because your uterus is no longer there the bladder and muscels around it CAN collaspe. this happened to my mum and she will need to have a bladder operation in the future. do you really want all this at 16 years old? think about it.
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A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (3 February 2009):
try the pill, it lightens the pain, aswell as other prescription tablets. don't make any permanent decisions.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 February 2009):
Oh hun you must be in some pain for this to be your end thought.
But I get really bad headaches yet I have never considered having my head removed.
You can go on the pill or the injection and your periods will stop or at least improved. My friend has AWFUL period problems and she is on the injection and that sorted her out.
I hate to tell you this but I don't think any doctor will agree to a hysterectomy at your age. They will all say that you will probably change your mind in the next 30 years and want kids.
Go and see your doctor and talk to him and he can put you on something that will help and give you much stronger pain killers too. Ibuprophen and hot water bottles are your best bet till you get to your doctor.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, coucou206  +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I know what you mean, but i think there are ways around this - the pill? Or someother painkiller. cvramps shouldnt be this bad.
Go to the doctor.
You dont know if this is the right choice - you might want children when you are older, when your friends start to settle down.
I would say, dont do it. You'll regret it, even if you didnt want kids, its the CHOICE you have as a woman.
Coucou xxx
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I don't think any doctor would agree to that surgery, with the history you have given hun.
Have you spoken to your doctor about these issues. I fully understand the fact that you don't want kids, and people should respect your opinion on that.
Also are you using any kind of contraceptive pill? There are pills on the market that can make periods easier or stop all together. Speak to a local family planning clinic, they are not all about fertility treatment.
Please speak to a doctor before this drives you mad.
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