A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid. I'm thinking about cheating on my boyfriend. I do love him and we have a baby together and there is a guy totally hot for me and we kissed today, and the thoughts I have about him are wild. And I can't get this feeling out my head that if I don't cheat with this guy it will be with someone else so maybe I should get it out my system! Should I? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 80sfashionista.  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 WOW.if you really love this guy as much as you say . cheating wouldnt even cross your mind hun. soo ask your self then do you really love him ? i mean temptation is a bitch but when you're in love .. you know when to stop yourself. soo all those dirty thoughts you have of the other guy. how about you just try them with you r boyfriend aye ? (;
Good luck.
-Roxanna.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk ok i get the picture! Thank you all 4 bein so honest lol
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A
male
reader, knight08 +, writes (3 February 2009):
 The impression I get of you, you are utterly out of your mind, this is maddens. How can you say you love your boyfriend yet you feel you want to cheat on him. Sorry but I don’t think you truly really love him. I really feel sorry for your boyfriend! I hope you will realize how stupid this is before it gets worse. Good Luck and Take Care
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (3 February 2009):
i'm sorry but i don't agree that it's the "modern way" what a load of bullshit! that's just the excuse that cheating scum bags use to make themselves feel better about the situation they have created.
either break it off with your bf or forget the other guy. just don't be a cheat and a liar. i feel sorry for your boyfriend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): I don't think it is the end of the world or your relationship with your boyfriend by any means. Don't get me wrong the kiss was going too far, but I do understand the way you are probably feeling right now. Often, after a women has a child, she can loose to weight and go right back to the same apperance that she had prior to having the baby. Very often because of the harmones, some women actually look better after having a baby then they ever did before. However; from you boyfriends point of view, you are no longer his sexy, hot girlfriend. He may still have the same amount of respect and love for you as ever, probably even much more now, but for most guys the words hot, sexy and mother just don't belong together in the same sentance.I don't know how long ago you had the baby, but if your hormones have still not neutrilzed and some guy at work is making you feel sexier and more attactive then your boyfriend is making you feel at home, I would say an attraction on your part is normal. This however, does not relieve you of your adult responsibility to do the right thing. I would imagine the right thing would be telling the guy at work that you are not sure what came over you, but you are in a serious relationship and have a baby, therefore; you would like him to please stop flirting with you. Then arrange for a babysitter, go to Victorias Secert (or whatever you have in your area) find something that you know your boyfriend would like to see you in and be wearing it when he gets home. This will help him to understand that you can be the mother of his child and a woman at the same time. If your problems run deeper then lack of attention on his part and you are still dead set on seeing the guy at work, well you should still do the responsible thing and break up with your boyfriend first so that he can be with somebody that wants to be with him also. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): To be honest the kiss shoud of never happened. When you are in a committed relationship the only and clear answer is do I love my better half or do I not? If the answer is yes then that's it instead of looking elsewhere you need to find what you are missing in this relationship that is making you look elsewhere, every day I see gorgeous women but that's it, all I see, I do not see opportunity because the one constant is I have love at home.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 February 2009):
 Get a grip sweetheart, will this guy you fancy bring up your child with you! Cheating will get you no-where!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): It's the modern way. Have you seen the program Golden Balls on t.v.. Modern society dictates you shaft someone before they shaft you. Split or steal.
Sad really.
:(
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A
female
reader, saoirse +, writes (3 February 2009):
First thing I can say is, slow down! Take a step back from both your relationship with your boyfriend, and the man at work and really truly evaluate how you are feeling. How long have you been with your Significant Other? How old is your child? If you've been together since you were young, its quite possible that the guy you're with just isn't the one for you. If you feel so strongly compelled to cheat on him, I think you also know that.
Despite the fact you love him, I think you might need to ask yourself the question, why do I need to cheat? If you are cheating because you're just ready for something new, then show your significant other the respect of at least breaking things off, and separating before you take this step.
Sleeping with people at work is never a good idea, because it can easily come back and affect your career in many ways you haven't considered. If you are very open about the fact that you're with someone and you have a child with them, it will be a poor reflection on you when your co-workers become aware of your infidelity. Also remember that while it shouldn't impact the way you are treated professionally, more than likely it will.
Also ask yourself the question, how would I feel if my significant other did this to me? Would you be OK with it if you knew he was kissing someone he worked with, how would you feel to know that he was seriously considering sleeping with someone other than you?
I'm not asking you these things to chastise you, but rather to provoke you into really truly giving some thought to it.
Cheating is never OK. It is disrespectful to both you and him. It is demeaning to everything that you have, and have had together, and it is also degrading to your child. Remember that you are young, and that just because you have a kid with someone doesn't mean that they are going to be the one for you, forever.
Before you take that step consider the fact that most people who cheat once, do it several times because they get very wrapped up in it. Wouldn't it just be easier to do it the right way? Perhaps a mutual break is in order, where you are both seeing other people.
Good luck,
S.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (3 February 2009):
 I feel sorry for your boyfriend. If you are thinking of this other guy to the point where you've actually kissed him (and like you said, if it wasn't him it would be someone else) then your relationship has run its course and you need to end it. If you want to get things out your system then you certainly owe it to your partner to break up for a while or just move on. Once you cheat with someone else you have not only cheated with your partner but will open up a hornet's nest which would include lies, deceit, guilt, dishonesty... NOT the best combination for a healthy relationship.
I was going to say think carefully about this before taking action but from what you say the action has already begun. THINK TWICE! Is this really worth the consequences that will ensue?
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (3 February 2009):
how can you say you love your bf yet you want to go off with someother guy? that's mental.
you need to decide who you want, you can't do that to someone, it's awful! think about how he would feel if he found out, and usually people do find out! if you don't want to be with your bf anymore, break it up. don't cheat on him. there is nothing worse. how would you like it if your bf cheated on you with some girl he was "wild" for?
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