A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Little stuff with my gf is pissing me off, she met a new friend at work and blew me off, I played it cool cause I love her and she doesn't have many friends. I love her to death, we will probably meet tonight and get a little intimate if you know what I mean, what do I do to clear my mind, if she starts talking about her friend, this will be impossible.
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (7 February 2009):
it sounds like you are in a typical teenage "relationship" i quote relationship, because at that age you don't understand what a relationship includes.
one important thing is that you both have FRIENDS and can go out with your FRIENDS without being TOGETHER ALL THE TIME! so what if you had it planned, sometimes things don't work out how you want, that's called life love. you need to both grow up and maybe realise that the pair of you are just not ready for a serious relationship and should concentrate on having fun with FRIENDS. if you can't hack eachother having friends, then that's pretty fudging sad and you are better off without eachother. you can't go through life with no friends! friends will always be more important then a little teenage bf or gf. i mean god, even married people have friends and have time for their friends! it's not just about 2 people! you need FRIENDS. i keep saying FRIENDS because i hope the word will concrete into your head.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 February 2009):
She has to let you have friends, if she is that posessive then tell her she needs to sort out her insecurities or it will never work.
If this day was planed for ages then tell her that you are upset at being stood up. Let her make it up to you.
It sounds like she is very flighty, and you are unhappy with her. Why not tell her that you need to get things sorted out or you need to break up.
This relationship does not sound happy or healthy for either of you.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe dont want me to have friends and we have had today planned for at least 4 months now, and she just up and blows me off
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (7 February 2009):
 Grow up, the world does not revolve around you! You sound jealous and petty!
If she doesn't have many friends you should be thankful that she has found one, this means she can go out with her friend and you can have a day on the Xbox with out feeling guilty about boring her.
Although by the way you have written this I don't think how she feels has ever crossed your mind!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): MrDestiny gives good advisment and I concur. You do sound jealous!! What does it matter if she talks about this friend? Support her, respect her choices, is a good start. Just from the tone of this posting you sound rather insecure, dear. That's where this jealousy is coming from and I have to say, it really doesn't sound like you 'love' her, guy. In fact, it sounds like you feel 'entitled' to her life, and what she gives you (the sex). That's pretty disrespectful..I would say. You are two separate, independant individuals and she can be friends with whom she pleases. Right? You have to get this jealousy in check, because that is incredibly unhealthy and it's not love. In fact it's all about ownership, control and suspicion. This problem is deep within you and you need to resolve that as soon as possible. Jealousy stifles and suffocates a relationship fast. So how do you solve this? By realizing, you do not own her...you are merely dating her. And by being aware of how really, really destructive 'jealousy' truely is, in a relationship. Please think about that and take steps to changing your attitude towards her. As for blowing you off to go see this friend, you can calmly and very maturely ask her to talk about that. Tell her you felt, hurt that she bailed on you, when plans were in place. You do have the right to set a boundary here, with someone when they do something to upset you. But please, do not get upset because she talks about her new friend! Be happy for her and don't hate the new friend. It wasn't her fault..your gf made that decision to bail. Now go and talk to her and stop with the jealousy, already!
...............................
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (6 February 2009):
she probably does not have many friends because she spends far too much time being intimate with you! your suppose to give her space and let her go out with friends and even talk to you about her life, which includes her friends! i'm sure you bore her with the details of what you and the boys get up to.
i think you are just very young and due to your age you don't really understand what makes a relationship work. if you love her then you will give her time where she can go off with her friend and have girly fun, which does not mean that you call her and pester her if she is out with friends. also she is not just there for sex. you really need to get over the jealous thing and realise that she needs a life that does not just include you.
one day she may open her eyes to the real world and go to uni/college and meet loads of new people and possibly guys. your not going to be the only fish in her sea!
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 February 2009):
So she went out with new friend and you are glad that she has this but don't actually care enough to listen to her as you want her to shut up and have sex with you?
You're great.
Listening is a big part of being a boyfriend. If you can't cope with that then maybe you just aren't ready to be in a serious relationship.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (6 February 2009):
 there's no reason to be soo jealous.. if you really love her then there should be some trust in the relationship..you say that she doesnt have much friends, she may just be trying to make some new friends...chill bro...relax grls dont like guys that are too clingy dont worry bro..im pretty sure nothing will happen gudd luck
...............................
|
