A
female
age
51-59,
*harron
writes:I have been with my partner 2 years and have recently given birth to a son. My partner got Divorced 2 years ago but fails to delete all of his ex wife's photos holidays, wedding etc from his PC and company Home Server. I finally moved in x-mas after renovating his house and getting his life sorted. I have asked him over and over since dating and supportong him throught the divorce if he will get rid of them.. 2009 last week he said .. I cant just block them out. I feel that if we re planning to get married this year June why is he still holding on after she had a affair plus left him 6 months before we me!!She also got married 5days after the divorce.What do you think? should i just go ahead a delete all the hundres and thousand of there memories..after all i bought him the server.. but then he still kept all the files to transfer to the new onw!!I also feel this should have been done as i bought him a new home server
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affair, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, moved in, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): He doesn't respected you at all ,how would he feel if you did it to him.He has a new life now with you not still with her ,tell him to get a life and I would get rid of the pic's to ,he will get it over it if he doesn't to bad,then that tells me he wasn't ready for you and a new family.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Ask him to chose a few photos to keep and than to get rid of the rest. How many photos of this past relationship does he need? A few are good but if he has a lot, thats unnecessary. It is good to acknowledge the past but you shouldn't dwell on it, its not healthy. And his focus should be on making you happy and putting you first. You are in his life NOW.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): My husband was with his ex for 10 years. He has tons of pictures of her, I do not see what is wrong with this. She also cheated on him and left him, but that does not mean that he has to erase 10 years of good times and memories. I had a life before I met him also. Are we all just suppose to delete our entire lives each time we meet somebody new? You seem more upset about her cheating then he does anyway, what's up with that? If she did not cheat, you would not know him!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 February 2009):
Are you saying that you would never keep a photo of a happy time in your life just because it contained a picture of your ex?
They are his past, they are his memories, they made him into the man that you fell in love with and who loves you.
If he wants to keep them in a file somewhere then why not! I still have photos of me and my ex and other friends having a great time at the pub etc, because I was happy then, and even though I no longer speak to my ex, it doesn't mean that he had no effect on me in the long term and I should forget him.
As long as he's not staring lovingly at her on a regular basis then there shouldn't be a problem.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (5 February 2009):
 I think that you are asking him to remove memories of his life. Why should he delete holiday and wedding photos, it's all part of his history. If they were naked photos of his ex fair play, but family holidays and important events of his life, good or bad should be kept to look back on in years to come.
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A
female
reader, Jmo  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 You have every right to be upset, however you shouldn't go and delete them. They are his. Tell him he can keep the files but keep them off the server and the PC. It's a compromise between you respecting his property and he respecting your feelings (not to mention your relationship.
-Jmo
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