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Is he bailing out on me?

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Question - (26 May 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2012)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello,

I've known this guy along time. We had a great connection and began dating. We had a lot of fun together and I found myself developing some deep feelings for him.

He explained early on he was "burnt" in a relationship years ago and after that he basically stayed single. He would have "flings" but nothing serious. Anyways, we dated about a year or so. He claimed he cared a lot for me, but just wouldn't transform into a relationsip with me. He kept saying he's complacent"and "content". I wanted us to be more and needed a commitment. I ended up cutting off most of our communication although he always contacted me. Saying he did indeed find himself "caring" for me. He said he kept asking to see me to see where it goes".

We went out recently and had a good time considering I was ill, and just got off of work. At the end of our date he hugged me tight and said,"I will see u again. Since our date there's been little communication. He says he's been busy, but its doesn't take much to send a text,email, or call quickly.

Is he bailing out on me?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think he is bailing on you per say, but I think you just got put in the "friends zone".

So it's up to you if you want that or not, but you might want to move on.

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A female reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2012):

I agree, it sounds as if he's juts using you for some company. I would just stop all contact. I know it may seem difficult if you like him but it's the best thing to do. Good Luck!

e x

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (26 May 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntHe's not bailing out on you, because to bail out on someone you need to actually have some kind of a relationship with them...any kind of a relationship actually. As regards this guy, he just uses your company to fill the odd hour when he has nothing better to do.

Stop contacting him and stop giving him any importance whatsoever. He doesn't deserve it. You can do much better

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A female reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth India +, writes (26 May 2012):

Foot-In-My-Mouth agony auntHe'll get back to you when he's bored or has nothing better to do. Basically, it's all about his needs. Not yours. Do you want to be stuck in such a situation?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012):

I agree, why wait around hoping for something from someone its never going to happen with...

Your best bet is to find someone who wants the same as you do :)

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A male reader, mwarren United States +, writes (26 May 2012):

mwarren agony auntSounds like he doesnt know what he wants and is confused. If you are looking for a relationship you should start looking elsewhere.

If you can remain friends, such as talking once in a while I would say thats it but no more.

You have to find what you need in your life and even though you have feelings. If he is content and complacent you dont want to wait forever for something that may never happen

You are right it takes almost no effort to send a text or call so that should tell you something.

Start looking for what you want and need and dont hope to change someone.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntBailing?..nope.

Keeping you in the 'friend I can call on when things are a bit slow in my relationship life'...yes.

He sounds a bit flaky and unsure of what he does want, but by the way he is acting, I don't think he is wanting a relationship with you.

Whether you stick around for the scraps he is giving you, is up to you.

You can do better!!

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