A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This might be long so bear with me. A little background: She's my close friend, and she used to like my boyfriend a lot, but he rejected her but they're best friends.So today, I recently found out that on Saturday, my friend had called my boyfriend around 7:30pm to go see the Avengers with her. The thing that bothers me is that she called ONLY him. I know this because my boyfriend suggested to her to call one of our other guys friends to see that movie with her (because he'd already seen it with me that day) and she went with that guy one on one, meaning she'd only meant to see it with one other person. Did she mean to go on a date with him or am I overreacting? Another thing is that because they're best friends, they do a lot of things together, and I can't help but feel jealous. I've talked to him before, but I can't get over the fact that I feel she still likes him. Like sometimes, because they're both seniors and I'm still a junior, they have 7th period off, unlike me. So they leave together, and she asks him to go places with her and he agrees. Or when we're playing tennis, she'll be like " ______! Come hit with me!" and it's only him she asks. I just feel like she wants him as more than a best friend, so she's trying to get as close to him as she possibly can without really "homewrecking" if you know what I mean. Am I wrong to feel that way?
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best friend, jealous, period Reply to this Question
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male
reader, MrWombat  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Yeah, they're totally cheating on you. Even if he isn't doing anything yet, she's working on him and will get what she wants. All it takes is time.
Get a lawyer.
Oh wait - you're a teenager at school?
Yeeeees, well, this is the kind of thing that happens around that age. Sorry, kid. Try not to be too devastated.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 You're not wrong, I would feel the same way too. Its clear she still likes your boyfriend and there's nothing wrong with that, I mean you cant really stop her from liking who she wants, can you? The thing is, your boyfriend needs to be aware of this and he needs to avoid social situations where he'll end up alone with her, because that's just like giving her hints that he's there for her. You need to get that message across to your boyfriend. Henceforth if there's a movie, either they go in a group where there are other people or he doesn't go just with her. Ask him to consider your feelings, how would he like it if a guy friend was doing this to you?
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (21 May 2012):
 I'll be honest with you. I generally don't believe in opposite sex being best friends without there being some kind of emotional or sexual tension. Someone will like the other more than the friend boundary permits. I know this from experience. I've tried several times to have girls as best friends but when two people of opposite sex clicks on so many subjects together, they're bound to develop a different type of feeling for one another. It's like a FWB. Someone will fall in love before the other even realizes it.I would like to say that as best friends they're entitled to go places together, on their own. But as you've stated before, she has made a go for him, I doubt that her feeling have completely disappeared. I do think she's trying to get closer to your boyfriend in hopes of tempting him away from you. I would bring it up to your boyfriend. If he doesn't understand or refuses to see reasoning then I'm quite sure he too may be developing more than a "friendly" bond with her.I wish you luck.
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