A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife keeps calling me a worthless man. I work two jobs to support three kids plus my wife and I feel she is being ungrateful. My wife cheated and I cheated after to get revenge, she has been calling me this ever since. She also says I have don't spend time with my kids,which is kind of true but I do what I can for them.I love my wife but i don't know how to get through to her to let her see my point of view.
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (1 June 2012):
Dont ever cheat for revenge. Losers do that. As a matter of fact, dont ever cheat - period.
I would never be able to stay with a woman after she cheated, but thats just me. You need to decide whats important to you and what you can live with.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 June 2012):
 Yep I agree that you need to find the time and money for counseling..
I realize with three kids that day care expenses eat up a lot of money but is your wife working outside the home?
as for cheating for revenge... what a lousy reason to do it.
two wrongs don't make a right...
if you want this marriage to work then get some counseling...
otherwise maybe it's better to end it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 June 2012):
 If you two plan on staying together you need to find some kind of marriage counseling or couples therapy.
And, sir... two wrongs never make a right.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (1 June 2012):
 It sounds like some marital counseling is in order for you two. She cheated on you, so to get revenge you cheated on her. It all sounds (please excuse my directness) a bit immature.
There seem to be some issues the two of you need to work out in order to reestablish the trust and love in your relationship. I understand you hate that she calls you worthless and you're right to feel that way. But you also have to understand that she's hurt by your actions, regardless if she cheated or not. You have to first take full responsibility for your actions before expecting someone else to take responsibility for their own. There is no magic bullet when it comes to infidelity. It will take some time for the both of you to get over the hurt the other person caused you - but the relationship CAN survive if you try to reconcile.
My informal, non-licensed advice to you is to sit down with your wife and explain that you love her, the kids, you want to see your marriage survive and get back to being happy again. Seek counseling together! Deal with the hurt, dissappointments, and other issues head on. Your marriage, at this point, will only survive by the amount of energy you put into its survival. If you put little energy into it, there is a great chance it will fail. If you put a lot of energy into making an effort at reconciliation moving past your hurtful past, it has a greater chance of surviving. If you truly love your wife, go show her how much you're willing to risk in order to be her husband.
"For better or for worse..."
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): Well if you have two jobs naturally you have less time for your kids. It seems she wants it both ways. Ask her to find the solution to this.
As regards cheating, if one person cheats it usually means there is something, not necessarily sex, they want from their partner but are not getting. This means there are deeper issues. You both need to have a talk about what you want from each other; maybe you can each make some adjustments.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (1 June 2012):
 Time for you and your wife to seek marriage counselling.
Your wife is feeling hurt that you cheated, however she has not considered that you felt hurt when she cheated. Two wrongs dont make a right, so I would suggest you seek professional help in your marriage.
Continuing with the name-calling is destructive so seek help NOW!
If she is not interested in working on the marriage with you to make things better, then sad to say, but divorce might be the only answer.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): I don't think you can get through to her. You cant reason with unreasonable people.
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A
female
reader, Rocky angel  +, writes (1 June 2012):
Talk to her. Tall about what happen from the start. Because whats goin on is not anymore about not having enough time to your kids, not being worthless. Its all about what happen from the start that she cheated you and you do a revenge. You two need to sit down together talk the matters which is only hiden under the cover of the table. If possible call for a third person to be in the middle. You two need to sit down and really talk seriously about this. Because if not, this will get more worst. She cheated you. You cheated her as a revenge, this not gonna work, as long both side dont forgive itself and each other, move on, face the future. I thought everyone deserve a second chance. Good luck to both of you...
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