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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Well, I know that people always say that looks don't matter to guys, or that they're not the most important thing, but are they just being polite? 'Cause I read an article and it really made me lose a bit of hope in men...http://livingwithballs.com/tits-or-ass-the-great-debate/(Probably NSFW though there's no nudity, just a couple pics of bikini clad women)The way they refer to body parts is just appalling, at least to me... especially since I have small breasts and my butt has cellulite... do all guys think like those in that website? I thought there would be more mature men in the comments section, but no, they all see to think the same way about women... this made me feel really insecure... and I'm starting to wonder if men just settle to find love or even just to get some regular sex... and that in secret they think that things such as small breasts or cellulite are gross.I'm really scared of showing my body to another man, especially since the only man who ever saw it was my ex and he also made bad comments about both my small breasts and the cellulite on my butt.Thanks,Confused and concerned.
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breasts, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): Next time you are walking down the street pay attention to the couples you see, particularly to the female half of the couple. You will see that most of them are average looking or worse. And they all have boyfriends. There is your answer.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 You will never embarrass yourself by overestimating the shallowness of guys who are trying to get some (any) woman's attention, or trying to get her to put out for him...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): I've always heard it the other way around, OP. That looks don't matter so much to women, but they definitely DO for men in general. Yes, I'm afraid men really are that shallow. To be perfectly honest, I believe looks matter a lot for women, too. As others mentioned, mutual attraction is a crucial component to a healthy relationship. Specifically regarding me, though, I think many "fall in love at first sight". I have to admit that was the case with my girlfriend. From the instant I saw her, I felt I wanted to be with her.
However, beauty is subjective - so don't give up hope. What one person finds unattractive someone else will find to be the apple of their eye.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (29 March 2012):
Yes. Looks dont matter to men. Also, security doesnt matter to women. Also, politicians always tell the truth....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): Hi. Those comments are just the views of a few Knuckle Draggers. I would be surprised if they have ever been given permission by their handlers to get close enough to a real woman to see her boobs or butt! Let alone anything else.
Seriousy though, I wouldnt take the views of a small number of people and generalise. The majority of men are attracted to sexually confident women, regardless of their boob size or cellulite. Try to take onboard and embrace the more positive comments men make, there are plenty of them! If not, insecurity will have you continually seeking out confirmation that your ex partner was right about your attributes...when he was very wrong!
But at the end of the day, what a few men think is unimportant. How YOU feel about YOU is what really matter. So dont slide down that slippery old slope into total insecurity just because some dumb ass said a couple of things to you. He was probably insecure himself and thought to bring you down too, so you would end up too scared to try finding some one better. Dont let anyone do that to you.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 next time you go to a supermarket or out in the shopping mall take a look at all the couples all ages Are all the women drop dead gorgeous and dressed like a model with perfect bodies?
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (29 March 2012):
My wife has small breast and cellulite on her butt and her answer was to have so much sex that my eyesight is failing! But seriously, nearly everyone has cellulite, and large or small breasts you are a lovely person whose real problem was the jerk you had for a boyfriend. Good that he is now an ex! Work on your self esteem - work out a bit, get some new clothes, and stop looking at your butt in the mirror!
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A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (29 March 2012):
 Yes, they are being polite. Most AMERICAN men have been brought up in a "supermodel" world where thin is the key to most women getting a guy.
Some men have no concern what you look like, as long as personality and lifestyle fit with them, they could care less if you have huge butt cheeks and cellulite but tiny breasts. Other guys like women who are "healthy" but not too overweight.
Personally, if a woman has cellulite or is huge in back or even huge in front, or worse - if their "muffintop" is looking like pregnancy - I just look away. I am brainwashed by the system and have an avid dislike of obesity. It is a personal opinion and preference that some people would consider a problem.
I rank women into two main categories: "Date-able" vs. "No way ever."
The "Date-able" category includes women who have fit bodies and beautiful faces, great B or C cups, and a decent behind without too much padding. And long hair (shoulder length is minimum)...
The "No way ever" women in my book are those who are overweight or have short hair or have really hideous faces. I rank the majority of women in this category because more and more American women are letting themselves go and pushing out their tummies or wearing pants too small for them so that their "muffintop" makes them look fatter than they are.
Sorry, but I am being honest here. I am judgmental; I know it; I admit it; Call me what you will, but I am answering the question without lies.
Yes, some men are very judgmental and prejudiced about a woman's appearance. Some are not.
Without promoting a stereotype, I have noticed that the majority of women who classify themselves "curvy" or "voluptuous" or "big & beautiful" find the most interest in men of African or Latino ethnicity. Just an honest observation of my environment, not a declaration on race here.
Cellulite is difficult to deal with. Simply standing up and sitting down a few times an hour will help to start toning the derriere. The small breast thing is minor. If your nipples are poking out, breast size will not make much difference. Find a man who does not care about weight and he will love you for yourself, as you are.
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A
male
reader, Cole Turner  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 this negative sort of media and press has this effect on lots of young women around the world. Guys always like showing off to one another about these things ... particularly when they are young. As a guy grows older there are more important things that we look forward ... such as being a good mum and security as well as infidelity. Don't be shy of showing your body to another man ... a guy who really appreciates you will not make comments and will love you for who you are but unless you are willing to take the plunge this will never happen! try some feel good self help, such as looking in the mirror every morning and saying to yourself I am a beautiful attractive women ... sounds crazy but will work!! Good Luck
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A
male
reader, BigMac92 +, writes (29 March 2012):
 Honestly looks are very important when it comes to dating, love or even the most simple thing with the opposite sex. I always see it as a compromise when it comes to this. Do I want the extremely hot women who has big tits and a nice ass or do i want a women with a great personality who makes me laugh even though she not that "attractive". Well personally i wouldn't take either of them. You look for the middle ground, someone who you find attractive and a good personality. The idea of looks not playing a part in a relationship is joke. Looks do play apart but not the whole part. Super model types are for sexwomen who you find unattractive but with a great personality are for being friends withA women you find attractive with a good personality is for love.And don't be too down i know plenty of guys who like cellulite on women. Its all about personal preference to things. What one person finds unattractive another might find attractive.
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