A
male
age
41-50,
*ficanhelpifnothelpme
writes:what would you do?hello im 30 and my ex girlfriend is 26 we've got 2 kids. we live together. and for years we've not been close since the birth of our first child. and this year after years of unhappy r/ship we split up. we desided for the kids sake we wouldn't move out or do anything stupidso i live wv her and the kids. somedays its easy and some days its hard work.when me and this ex split up she go's sex mad like cant keep her hands off me when were together its like im fighting wv her to have sex wv me. when we split up i started talking to old friends girls i knew over the year's fancied me and because i wanna focus 100% on my kids i wanna bit of fun and 3 girls i started talking to wanted the same. after i chated them up and got arrangement to meet up something happened. the girls removed me from facebook and said never talk 2 them again. i once saw a message saying " your a slag all i want is a shag from a slag " i think my ex is hacking my facebook what would u do?moveing out is not an option because she said if i do i cant see the kids everyday and if i did it would be 1-3 only no other time no nights over (because i would move in wv my brother and sleep on the sofa) any help would b great thanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (24 May 2012):
What I would do is not use Facebook. Honestly, the next good thing that comes from Facebook or Twitter will be the first.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 May 2012):
 HiYou have things wrong way round. You should move out, get legal aid and sort out Access to see your children.Its difficult when your not married to get it all sorted out but it can be done. Your Ex and you are doing the kids no favours by living in the same house. Until you are no longer living together you are never going to be in a position to date anyone. Nobody will believe you have split up for a start.No your ex had no right to hack your FB account but if you live your life flirting on there while under the same roof as your ex, she will always intrude on your new love-life.Block her, change your password and stop using it for now.Grow a pair, move out, sort your access properly and vow to put your childrens lives first for now. Not sit on FB in her home for the forseeable future looking for old girlfriends.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 May 2012):
 It must be 'nice' for your ex to know that you no longer love her or want to be with her, but you are orchestrating your new sex life over the internet from her house!!!!
I also find it incredicle that people care more about their facebook life than they do their real one!!
As the previous anonymous aunt posted...you want your cake and eat it!!
Move out, seek access through the proper channels and stop thinking about your next relationship before you have even cleaned up the mess from the first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012): I know you're asking what to do about your FB being hacked, but my advice to you is to get to the root of the problem which is you need to MOVE OUT and not be living with your ex any more since you've both decided that you're no longer exclusive intimate life partners.I know you think it's best for the kids to have their parents living under one roof, and you don't want your present unlimited access to them to change, but really you can't have it both ways. And think about the future - how long are you going to be living together while supposedly being free to date other people? eventually one of you may want to marry someone else, then what? how will you still live together then? so obviously your present situation is untenable, and it's also highly inappropriate and dangerous in the sense that it has the potential for all kinds of problems to occur that wouldn't happen (as much) if you made a clean break.If you're not in an exclusive committed intimate sexual relationship with your kids' mother any more, and are open to finding and developing this kind of relationship with new people, then you should not be living with her. Even though you have kids together. It's messing up the boundaries in your household. You can't "move on" in your personal love life, if your'e still living with the mother of your kids, and playing house, and expect that everything else stays the same.Life is messy, and some times when things change you have to make hard decisions that affect other people. You have to decide if you're going to stay in an exclusive intimate relationship with your kids' mother so you can all live together under the same roof like a nuclear family. But if this kind of relationship between you is toxic, it's going to do damage to all of you including your kids. So the next best thing is to make a clean break with clear new boundaries. Separate households, and new arrangements for co-parenting. That is how it's done so you don't confuse your children and model bad relationship patterns for them. (or they will grow up thinking it's normal for people to live together and have a family together yet be dating other people on the side!)you need to acknowledge that if there's a break in the relationship with your ex gf, then this IS going to affect the entire structure of the family, and then learn how to re-structure it in a more healthy way, rather than to try and cover it up while moving on, but not quite.
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A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 Change your password on FB and explain t the ladies what happened.
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