A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 33, my boyfriend is 31 and we've been together about 10 months. We only see each other on the weekend because we live an hour away from each other. He usually comes and stays at my place Friday night thru Sunday. Pretty much since the beginning of our relationship we only have sex once per weekend. He likes sex but he's not obsessed with it and sometimes i feel like he makes love to me because he has to but not really bc he wants to, almost like he would be fine not doing it, while my sex drive is pretty high and i'd love to have sex every night he's with me. He told me that he used to be a ladies man and had lots of sex with lots of partners when he was in his early 20s but it dropped at like 25 and he's not into it as much. Which obviously bothers me a little bit.Today we were talking and he was telling me about something that happened to him several years ago and while telling it he mentioned that at that time he was dating 3 girls at the same time (and having sex with them) and they all knew each other. I was kind of surprised, although i knew about his adventurous past, but didnt really say anything. But it got me thinking that he could satisfy 3 girls at the same time but he can only do it with me once a week. I felt pretty sad. I know it was years ago for him but still the thought of it makes me envious. The night before we didnt have sex, he looked like he was out of it and i told he didnt have to and he said thank you. I wonder if he's really just thinking of it as a chore. Im an attractive girl and i know he's attracted to me. I've hinted many times at he fact that i wouldnt mind doing it more often but it seems like once per weekend is the limit. How do i tell him i want it more without making it uncomfortable? I dont want to confront him and tell him that i'm not satisfied. I wear skimpy outfits and short shorts, short dresses, nighties with underwear all the time so its not a lack of me not trying to turn him on. Also when i feel like he's forcing himself it kinda turns me off which is bad. Anyone ever been in this situation? Also what do you think of his talking about his past as a ladies man? Many times ive been tempted to turn it around and be like "really? You could satisfy all these girls? Thats interesting" but i don't.
View related questions:
sex drive, underwear Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (24 May 2012):
First, he shouldnt be talking about his past like that unless you're asking. Given graphic details like that unprompted is the sign of either a liar or a loser.
Second, if you want more sex, you should get it. If he cannot give it to you, you need to decide how important that is to you because I assure you it wont get better.
A
male
reader, roxanneian  +, writes (22 May 2012):
we all can do the i used to......act and i think this is kinda lame.i bet you could do the i once had three guys at once after me speech too.if he doesnt seem your the shag of the century after all you do to attract is advances tell him your busy the next week and go out somewhere else to find whats out there around you that week.is he honest with you about what he likes to do with you sexually?? sex can be like a bus ride, nice and easy with a good comfy seat and an old lady type conversation,for some couples.but you can get on board a bus that does 180mph on two wheels and thrills the shit out of you.quiz him about his fantasies and let him quiz you go on be a dare x
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 May 2012):
 I think your best bet is telling him that you would like to have sex more often with him. Hinting isn't working. And the guy isn't a mind reader, so talk. Tell him how attracted you are to him, tell him how much you enjoy the sex, but that you want MORE of it.
Do you ever initiate? Other then the sexy outfits?
...............................
A
male
reader, MrWombat  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 What N91 said.
"really? You could satisfy all these girls? Thats interesting"
Snark is not a useful way of conducting a relationship, really. You're 33 - you don't have an excuse for not acting like an adult.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 May 2012):
 His talking about his past life may or may NOT be a big deal. I've been around the block too many times to mention, but I usually don't mention it to ladies. In my mind, it doesn't really matter, but some guys may wear it as a badge of sorts. The bottom line is this: If he is not satisfying you, then there is a problem in the relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, ladybug 1 +, writes (21 May 2012):
I feel for you. I know how you feel, my boyfriend also told me that he used to go to the bar's every night, I think that he has had his share of useless sex, with out relationships. and now he has told me that he could care less about it, or he could leave it, we have sex once a month, we used to twice a week, when we first got together. I feel that I dont turn him on any more. he is alway's talking about sex is some way, but there is no passion with us. so I know how you feel, I would like to know also how to get him to give me more sex too.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (21 May 2012):
 I don't really think there's any other way of getting the message across other than saying 'Id like to have sex more'.
Simple as that, if you're not sexually compatible, then there's gonna be problems...
...............................
|
