A
female
age
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*o_Very_Confused
writes:So here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-how-important-is-sex-to-you.html someone asked how important to you is sex.I have a slightly different question...DEFINE IT...is it just the act of intercourse?is foreplay mandatory?is it the actual act of penetration that you love/like/can do withoutwhat about affection and cuddling...One person said they want to kiss/make outI know for me that without affection I don't want intercourse but with affection (cuddling, kissing, other affectionate acts that indicate we are intimate partners) I want it more.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 October 2011):
So_Very_Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the question @Andi_d...
Yep I agree with what you are saying but even then sometimes my partner who I love very much and I just have to have a quickie.... and then even though it's love... it's not love making it's just sex...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 October 2011):
So_Very_Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the question@mystiquek...thank you that was pretty much my point.
Sex is about orgasms and release in my book. I'd rather make love. I can take care of my own needs for an orgasm I don't need anyone to do that for me. I DO however need someone to "love on me". I want those arms around me. I want the kisses and the cuddles...
I think it was Dear Abby (or her sister Ann Landers) who years ago did an informal survey and found that 70% of the women who responded would give up sex (read INTERCOURSE) if they got the affection...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 October 2011):
 OK SVC, I'll bite.... and my answer is this cliche:
Women offer sex in hope that it will lead to a loving relationship; Men feign a loving relationship in hope that it will lead to sex....
'Nuff said....
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A
female
reader, andi_d  +, writes (7 October 2011):
I think guys and girls both have different meanings for sex and making love. For me sex is about the actual physical feeling of sex,just about getting both people off. Love is sex with meaning , weather its quick or involves foreplay, kissing and cuddles there is just much more emotion involved.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): I think the question she's asking is what really is sex, not like what is the technical definition of it...Obviously sex refers to the act of intercourse but some people consider other things to be sex, not just "original" oral or anal. I've heard of other people calling making out and foreplay an act of sex even though there is no "real" intercourse involved.Unfortunately, not all people have feelings when they have sex. Not to be sexist or anything, but statistics show that men are much more likely to have sex with strangers (ie. no love). I guess it's got to do with biology =SSo sex I guess has many different meanings, depending on how you define it... one may require foreplay before it happens, one may not require it. It all comes down to preferences... I personally can't get the flame going if I don't love that person.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 October 2011):
 To me, sex is just an act. Lower life forms, animals all do it, and so do people who have absolutely no feelings invested. Anyone can have sex. I don't NEED sex, but I do need LOVE. Without feelings, sex is just a cold physical act. It feels good at the moment, but when that moment is over..what is there? To me, making love is something sweet, to be savored, and to be looked forward to. I cannot be involved with a man if I have no feelings for him. I will not do this to myself. I have to be emotionally involved. I love hugging, kissing and cuddling, I need those things. If I had to, I could live without sex but not without touching and affection. Sex is incredible, and for me, its the icing on the cake, but sex isn't everything and without feelings for someone, sex is nothing to me.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 October 2011):
So_Very_Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the question@sageguy... trust me I am not struggling with this at all.
I was basing this on the question do you love sex as shown in my original question....
I'm betting some women meant to say I need making love vs
I need sex....
so maybe I'll ask... to YOU what's the difference between having sex and making love?
@marieclaire.. feel free to share YOUR interpretation since that's what I was looking for.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (6 October 2011):
 you will probably get a different answer from different view points. i look at the definition of sex as the act of oral sex performed on a male or female,and intercourse penetration . i look at foreplay as a prelude (worming up) to having sex. i look at cuddling and affection leading up to sex (lovemaking ). that is my way of looking at it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 October 2011):
(The question, "what is "sex"," is a little like the question, "Why is there air?").....I'm sorry to see that, at age 51-59 you are still struggling with this....Do you have any specific circumstances that you would like to discuss?
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