A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A couple months ago, I finally told my female best friend that I've had feelings for her for 3 years. She is also lesbian, but she admitted that likes someone she'll never get (another married woman who's 10 years older than we are) and she can't get over her because she's also liked her for many years as well. Recently, we had a sleepover and because her room only had one bed, we had no choice but to share a bed and that night she told me that she kind of likes me, even though she's still crazy about the married woman. So we started kissing and stuff. It was really sweet. But the next morning, she texts me saying she regrets doing what she did and messing with my feelings, and that we should just be friends.We talked it over and now we're on good terms again, but I know that both of us felt something that night. I don't know if it's worth it to pursue a relationship with her, especially since she's not over her previous unrequited love/obsession. Should I try out a relationship with someone like this? We are best friends either way.
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best friend, kissing, lesbian, married woman, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Your partner for life had better be your best friend of you'll never be settled.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Sounds to me like you've got a solid friendship there. .... and who would want to jeopardize that?? AS for the unbalanced romantic feelings... I'd suggest that you live your life as you have in the past.... stay close with this good friend.... don't feel compelled to steer clear if you SHOULD find another woman who you fance.... and see how "the hand plays out" over time....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 "Should I try out a relationship with someone like this?"
I believe you will try it out no matter what she said. You won't be satisfied with just friend but you both crossed the line and felt the tension that's hard to remove. You are both single so not much is stopping you. Married couples are off limits to people but it depends on why that woman got married and what are the possibilities of their divorce. Did she marry a man? Is she bisexual, is she a closet gay? Did she marry to appease and impress family members? Is your friend powerful enough to wreck their marriage? Is she attracted to women or men more? Is she still good friends with her? Were they close to having an affair?
These are the things you can ask her to see how and when she could get over this woman for good. If she is definitely happily married then you know you have a good chance with your best friend.
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