A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem and I can't tell anyone I know.I'm 36, I've been single for most of my life and have always held a torch for a man I met at University. We recently ran into eachother on the work circuit and all these feelings I've had bottle up inside have come straight back out in the open. We've slept together a couple of times and even though I'd love him to be with me, there's one problem.He's married and about four weeks away from becoming a father. I've met his wife, she's lovely, but I can't help thinking, and wishing, why it wasn't me there having his baby. I'm not a nasty person and I'd never deliberately hurt him, his wife or their child. I'm not a homewrecker. I keep telling myself that, but I can't fight these feelings that I've held inside for so long. I think I love him.Help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): "But more importantly, he's slept with you while his wife is about to have a baby! What does that say of his character???"This person hit the nail right on the head.Now, what does that say about you? Why are you so infatuated with a man who will cheat on his pregnant wife?This is a guy you've held a torch for years, and yet he didn't get involved with you when both of you were single. But, married, he's willing to cheat on his wife.So, get realistic and realize that regardless of what you think about him, he's got serious issues and he's certainly not "all that".Get professional counseling help, for yourself, never contact him again, and never respond to any contacts from him to you, and figure out what you have that makes you vulnerable to this guy.
A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 When you slept with him, was he still with his wife? Or was this back in university?My advice is to move on. I know it's hard to do, especially after so long, but that's what you have to do. He has moved on from you now, he has a wife and he's expecting a child. He's got his own family and a new life he's started for himself.I know it hurts, but you have to let go. There are millions of other men out there, you shouldn't spend your life carrying a torch for one that you can't have.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): I'm sorry to say but this is not a good situation.
You've already slept with a married man whose wife is about to have a baby. But more importantly, he's slept with you while his wife is about to have a baby! What does that say of his character??? That would be devistating to learn your husband slept with someone else while you're pregnant.
This situation will not only break your heart, but her heart, too. Even if he did leave for you, you already know he's willing to sleep with another woman even if you're married and pregnant. The male poster below who said she needs to rely on his is right, but he's a cheater, a betrayer.... so she's relying on something imaginary. That could easily be you!
Move on and don't look back.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Hello,
I am afraid you are going to have to walk away. However hard it is for you, you must walk away. He has a wife and she is expecting his baby and she needs him to take care of her. She has hopes and she relies on him. You are going to have to accept this and walk away. I could imagine this is hard for you but I'm afraid it is the best thing to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): Yes he was married, it's only been a few weeks since we've met back up again.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 This makes me think of that ballard from back in the 70s by the group "Left Bank".... "Just walk away, Renee"....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Those couple times you had sex with him...was he married?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): You are in a difficult spot. Someone you have held a torch for is within your reach - but the barrier is just too high. He is going to be a father, part of a little family. Chances are he loves his wife and you are a distraction at a time when she is heavily pregnant. It's madness to continue seeing him in an intimate sense. He could just be using you. Anyway, he's not free. Save yourself further pain and draw back from him. Be a friend but still sleeping with him will serve no purpose and ultimately you'll be hurt.
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