A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need tips in a few areas to improve my chances will the ladies. Firstly, how do I approach girls in groups and get them to like me? I'm not too bad with them if they are by themselves but I get nervous when approaching a women or a number of women if they are in groups. I just get too nervous and then don't know what to say.Also once I am in conversation how do I flirt more? I never really know how to flirt with girls and I end up staying in more of the friend zone even if they were interested in more initially. I think my nerves just stop me from flirting with them and instead I end up being seen as someone they can talk to as a good friend rather than anything else. I haven't had that much experience in chatting girls up and flirting so I don't really know how to go about it. Especially because I don't feel that confident in approaching girls and chatting with them. I want to become more flirty and funny which I am around friends but I feel different around new people and especially women so I just tend to go quiet and nervous.Any tips on these things would be grateful!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): P.S. avoid corny pick-up lines.... "Can I check your tag to see if you're made in heaven?" . You know, that kind of thing just makes you look dumb. Don't do it!
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, these have been helpful tips. I don't think it will be all that bad after getting a little experience. I just need to be a bit more confident and get some experience first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): A bar is a little different.
Packs of girls are either on the hunt or just hanging out, "ladies night." This is that situation I was talking about. A pack of girls in a bar is not an easy approach.
It will take some practice. Again, focus on one girl, not the group. Catch her eye from across the room, (don't stare or anything, just if you get a chance glance, smile and look away.) See what she does. Wait for it, they will all turn and look at you, (probably really fast and then look away.) This is the "no, don't look!" but they all do it.
Okay, observe. If they all kind of giggle and she looks back see if she smiles, then smile again. If they all laugh and all turn and look at you, then turn and laugh again.... bad sign.
Now, if she looked at you and smiles. Approach. Say, "I was wondering if you'd like to dance (if there's music)." This will single her out if she says yes. Get her away from them! If she says no, then say, "Okay, have a nice night," and move on.
It takes practice. You'll start to notice the difference between interested and not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys also how would I go about it in the situation of a bar. Just the same kind of way but with just different subjects as I am 18 very shortly so I will be looking to meet new people there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): I'm going to agree with Sageoldguy. The number one mistake women make when looking for a guy is traveling in a pack! Nothing is more intimidating to a guy than six women all huddled together. Women naturally travel in groups. Sure it is fun to go out with friends, but if you're looking for a man you want to be out alone. Some guys can do it, but a lot of guys won't.
First off, you don't have to worry that it's actually your friend the guy is interested in instead of you. It may seem safe etc, but it's a bad idea.
I say, if you see a girl you like in a group, at your age it won't be at a bar or anything. So, walk up to the group and say, "Hey guys, (or ladies if you like,)" then turn to the girl your interested in and ask her a direct question/comment. "How'd you do on that paper? Mrs. Smith sure is giving us a lot of work recently." You know, something common like that, (doesn't have to be school, could be anything you share interest in.)
This does two things:
1) you acknowledge her friends.
2) you single her out and say, "I'm talking to you."
Look at her, make eye contact with her. Don't just randomly approach a group and stand there. Make yourself part of the "group" by conversing with her. Have a plan at where to start, but then let it be natural.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I am an old guy... so I can give you this CRITICAL piece of advice:..... NEVER believe that you can get close to a girl who is in a pack!!!!!
You have to "cut out" the girl you want to make out with (It's sort of a "cowboy" thing)... THEN get her somewhere out of sight and out of ear-shot of the other girls and work you magic on her.....
Best line I have used: "Didn't we go to different schools together????"
Good luck....
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