I suspect he's being used for money and I'm really worried about him!
Q. I don't understand what I've done wrong. I'm close friends with a guy an the other day he asked me to send an email for him which i did. I saw another which I shouldn't have and I basically got the idea that hes being played by a girl from the ...
A. 13 June 2011: Well, first of all, it is none of your business.
He is an adult, you already questioned him about it, and he denies it.
Let him deal with his own life. If he is truly being played, then he has to live with the consequences of it.
It is sad... (read in full...)
Married ex had my name tattooed on his body.
Q. I am in a serious pickle and I'm afraid I've got myself into it. I was seeing a married man for a few years and broke up a few weeks back. He's been asking me to take him back since but I'm adamant to move on and make something of myself. Hoever ...
A. 13 June 2011: If there were a show called "Stupid Man Tricks" he would win the prize.
Ignore him and leave him and his tat alone.
He has a sexless marriage that he plans to keep. He sees you as his sexual vending machine. Now, boo hoo, it is ACCESS DENIED... (read in full...)
Don't know which one to choose
Q. Hey, well I've just had a date with this girl and we like each other and have a fair bit in common and she lives in the same town as me, but I've also had a few dates with another girl and we like each other as well and have a few things in common ...
A. 13 June 2011: Dating is trying people on for size to see who is the best fit. There is no rule that you can only date one person at a time.
However, FIND out if the girls are on the same page.
Does sex to you or one of them equal a monagamous, comm... (read in full...)
Is this mom interested in me?
Q. Hey guys. I'm a married dad with two sons. One of the mom's at my son's school has asked me for a play date with our kids. What does this mean? Could she be interested in me? Don't the moms usually ask each other? Should I say yes? Just wondering ...
A. 13 June 2011: It's simple. She is asking if she can arrange a time for YOUR kids and HER kids to get together because she thinks THEY would like each others company.
She is not asking to play with you.
... (read in full...)
Should I ask, or just let it be?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now, and two months ago he asked for a 'break' which lasted only a few days. I don't believe in breaks but didn't get the chance to tell him at the time, and didn't think I needed to, since it ...
A. 13 June 2011: I think you were snooping and found out facts that confirmed your suspicion, and maybe his complaints.
If you could not talk about WHY a break was needed in the first place, that shows you and he have communication issues.
What DEFINES a break ... (read in full...)
Self-conscious about my size and sex!
Q. I dont really know if this is something thats just me or if people actualy have the same worry. I'm 20 and have a baby of one year, me and the babies dad have broken up, i've met someone else but havent had sex with them. I've only ever been wi...
A. 13 June 2011: It is normal to be nervous about becoming intimate with another person again after you had a baby:)
If someone is interested in you, they need to accept you for who YOU are. You and your baby are a "packaged" deal. You and your BODY are a packag... (read in full...)
I want his children, but after we are married and in a more stable relationship!
Q. Hello, I am writing because im currently 6 weeks pregnant. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. Its the second time we are trying things. We met 3 years ago and dated for 7 months . I got pregnant with him then and we decided to have ...
A. 13 June 2011: It is best for children to have TWO stable parents who are ready and want them.
Consider how you did with the previous abortion. Did you process the emotions and phsyical issues with it?
Would you want to and are you capable of repeating tha... (read in full...)
Is this a good plan to help her get over my past?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years. for her its her first relationship, for me its my second. both of us are in deep love and soon going to get married. in my past relationship ,i never had sex but did kiss my ex-gf and see ...
A. 13 June 2011: I am suprised your gf is not rather offended by your suggestion, but is bothered by the fact YOU had a "somewhat" sexual experience with a previous girl.
My suggestion is that NO, your gf should not be engaging with another man. It might open up ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about the money
Q. Me and my boyfriend did a broker business to sell a vehicle.. and we were supposed to share the profits equally.. I found the car and my boyfriend found a customer to sell it. So after the deal was done my boyfriend said that the customer cheated ...
A. 13 June 2011: Do you have the paperwork to proove he "pocketed" the sale into his account? Deposit Statements are a beautiful thing to proove in court.
I am not sure how it is done in the U.K., but the next time you mix a relationship with business, have a b... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm trapped in a mess!
Q. I feel like I'm trapped. I met a man(call him x) through mutual friends. He was head over heels for my other female friend(call her y). That night she kept giving him grief though and even started yelling about a hook-up that happened with another ...
A. 13 June 2011: He sounds like a mess and he is dragging you into his Drama.
Feel like being a bit player on his stage, then play the part!
Feel like being the star of your own life? Mark this for experience and make a wise choice. You had a one night stand ... (read in full...)
Good friend and ex husband dating?
Q. It appears to me that my ex husband and my good friend are having a relationship together but hiding it. I had heard through others about it. I haven't approached them and I know that I can't stop them but how do you handle this situation?...
A. 13 June 2011: Ignore it. He is not your husband any more. He has a right to date whoever he wants.
Let the "good friend" speak up. If it gets serious, they will go public.
How you handle it is moving on with YOUR life, and living your life well. Occu... (read in full...)
He won't meet me unless he has a friend with him?
Q. Why does this guy want to bring a friend along when we meet ?. He wont meet me unless a friend goes with him. Do you think he wants them there as a bit of support, possibly because he is nervous, or do you think he just isn't interested in dating me ...
A. 13 June 2011: You met it person once before. Did he have a friend with him before?
How did it become decided he will not meet you AGAIN, unless the friend is there?
Does he seem shy?
IF this was a first meet in person, it would not be unusual for him t... (read in full...)
My wife of 19 years is a really, really good friend and roommate... but I cannot stand that we do not have that romantic, sexual side to our relationship. Is it unfair to expect more? Will I make a big mistake in giving that up in exchange for more
Q. I am 38 and I have been with my wife 19 years. I love her, but I feel like we are not "in love." We are best friends and we really enjoy each other's company. We do all kinds of things together and we make each other happy. However, when we...
A. 13 June 2011: From what you described, your wife defines ROMANCE differently than you do.
You describe it as something that leads to lovemaking.
She seems to find it thru non-sexual connection.
You DO need to have a chat with her (outside of the bedr... (read in full...)
I doubt whether he really loves me because of our age difference.....
Q. i dated a 50 year old man with a different religion, i am chrsitian and he is muslim..i will be 22 this july..he said that he loves me but i am doubtful about it because of the age difference and of the culture differences,,but i feel being special ...
A. 13 June 2011: Those are a LOT of huge differences. If you are feeling doubtful, listen to your inner voice! Sometimes you have to be your own best friend.
This relationship sound innappropriate for you.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
I want a girlfriend, not a friend who just happens to be a girl!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years and love each other dearly. THe only thing is that I feel that I am uninteresting to her now. In the begining she was the reason we started dating, she asked me out and would initiate e...
A. 13 June 2011: Ok, have you ASKED her while you are intimate,"Touch me" or gently taken her hand and SHOWED her how to touch you?
If you have and she says no, or shrinks back...
You are going to have to speak up and soon.
First, have this converstation ... (read in full...)
He keeps cancelling on me and makes excuses every time. What do I do?
Q. This guy has let me down three times, should i forget about him ?. I met him a couple of weeks ago. The first time he said he would meet me, he ended up saying that he couldn't go out because he didn't have much money. The second time , he said he ...
A. 12 June 2011: It sounds like he is "letting you down easy" to soften the blow of "No". If a guy REALLY wants to spend time with you, he will move mountains to do so.
S
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
I want to regain his trust. But do you even think that's possible?
Q. Okay so, I dated this guy named Joe from January to early March, our relationship was perfect until he started accusing me of doing things. He thought I told my best friend a secret about him. He also started saying I was lying about every little ...
A. 12 June 2011: Normally I would suggest you tell him you no longer wish to date him. This would be the most mature thing to do.
BUT
BECAUSE this boy made threats on YOU and your FRIENDS (which maybe be just shooting off his family in his insanity) TELL Y... (read in full...)
Should she give the engagement ring back?
Q. After 2 years with a wonderful girl I proposed... She said yes! We were planning on moving in together and then got into an argument about money. She says I had a look in my eye like I was going to hit her.... I wouldn't touch a hair on her head! ...
A. 11 June 2011: Check your local laws. In the US (in most states) the ring needs to be returned as it was conditional on marriage, not a "fondness for another individual".
She broke the engagement and should show some class to return it. Be happy you are not ... (read in full...)
How do I get through the next 3 months?
Q. Hey all, i really need some advice, my partner of 4 and a half months left 2 days ago to stay with his father for 3 months to work.(were both 21 by the way) me and him are used to the distance as we live 85 miles apart as it is and go anything...
A. 11 June 2011: I know it can be quite agonizing to be in a new relationship (ah the honeymoon phase!) then see your sweetheart have to leave for awhile.
In 1992, I was seperated from my love because he was serving in the military. We had never been apart mo... (read in full...)
I'm not used to being single! I need my confidence back! Help!
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. After crying for a week....the crying has stopped. I however, feel numb. I know this is natural...but i feel so lost...and lonely... I ask my self...did i do the right thing? I don't know......
A. 10 June 2011: You were with this person a long time. Two Years of your life was with this person.
First, it is going to take TIME to heal. This just happened right? You are grieving the loss of someone and what could have been.
Second, Congrats on maki... (read in full...)
Is it true that it's a woman's right to change her mind--or is she just being bloody rude??
Q. Got into a row with my girlfriend of several months after she canceled on me for the third time in a row, calling a couple of hours before. She said she had things to do. I asked for more details and she said she didnt want to get into it. I got ...
A. 10 June 2011: This is a personal pet peeve of mine and ranks right up there with always showing up late. (Both habits are nasty signs of a control freak!)
I agree that gender has nothing to do with it. RESPECTFUL people change plans with a good reason. ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him?
Q. Hey, So there is this guy I met over the internet and we mailed each other for quite some time until I asked him if we could meet, which we did. To sum it up it was wonderful for me and he said that he enjoyed the day, too. Problem is that he...
A. 10 June 2011: Listen to what he has said. He does not want to leave a girl behind. He has done it before, and it did not work.
Keep in touch and give it time to let him go.
Date other people. You do not want to put yourself on a shelf and wait for a "mayb... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend's threesome!
Q. This is a question I know is on here often. But I really need any good answer. My boyfriend and I have been dating a year and a half, plan to get married in January of next year, now I am just waiting on "the perfect time" he has planned to propo...
A. 10 June 2011: It was in his past. He did not do that while he was with you.
He experimented sexually, chances are he did a lot of things without thinking years ahead how it would upset you.
It is what he does NOW that matters. Judge him in his actions NOW.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has intimacy issues and needs porn to get off!
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this....my boyfriend of almost a year has this problem, he insists on going online for his sexual gratification....lately we have only been having sex like once a month if that. I know he has intimacy issues but its ...
A. 10 June 2011: Sounds like an addiction. The only way for him to crave YOU more, is for him to stop viewing porn (Not likely, sorry) and to only have YOU stimulate him for release.
The Brain needs retraining (like any addiction) and he has to be willing ... (read in full...)
I was dismissed on my placement for being to sensitive and upset!
Q. Is it discrimination if you get fired from a job or a placement because of being too sensitive and getting upset easily? I was on a work placement, which was voluntary, as I was put on it through a training course i am on to help get me back into ...
A. 10 June 2011: Ok, Your Boss was telling you a problem and wanted to make SURE it did not happen again. Her concern was reasonable because it effected the safety of a patron/customer and the staff. She took you into her private office, which is respectful and ... (read in full...)
Was he ever really interested in the first place? How should I handle this situation?
Q. I am going a bit crazy with this so I hope someone will be able to offer some insight. I met a guy through a family member about a month ago, he's going through a divorce at the moment and it wasn't a "set up". He asked for my number, but I as...
A. 10 June 2011: Divorce is one of the most painful things a person can go through. Even if you WANT the divorce and feel glad to be ending a relationship, it is a HUGE LOSS AND STRESS.
It does not sound like your freind has really gone thru the emotional work of ... (read in full...)
Is this normal?
Q. Im 18/f and my boyfriend is 19/m me and my boyfriend were fooling around last night, im a virgin and im about as innocent as they get...meaning before last night i hadnt even had a guy finger me or anything. The furtherest id ever been before...
A. 10 June 2011: There is a bundle of nerves in your vagina called the Gspot that can be touched that will give that feeling of wanting to pee. Sometimes at the point of orgasm, you can feel the urge to pee, but dont worry, the feeling is normal.
If it is very ... (read in full...)
Am I gay?
Q. When i masturbate and do this to gay porn, it seems to turn me on so much more and my orgasm would be a lot better and more "pumpy" than when i do it to heterosexual porn. Does this mean i'm gay? I have a girlfriend and she turns me on perfectly ...
A. 10 June 2011: I would think you might be BI-sexual and are fine sexually with both genders, with a preference for males.
I have met several Bi-sexual people that are excited by both genders, but usually prefer one over the other.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
He wants me to be a housewife, but I want a career in medicine! What should I do?
Q. Me and my bf love each other very much. He is two years older than me and is pursuing a job now. I am a medical student. These days we were talking about our marriage when one day he said after our marriage i'l have to take the whole responsibility ...
A. 10 June 2011: So, you are 16-17 and he is about 18-19? So, he is already deciding your future for you...or rather for HIM?
Do you want to give that kind of control and decision over to someone NOW that is not even your husband?
It sounds like you have yo... (read in full...)
I asked a girl out and now she has told everyone at school I'm a lesbian!
Q. yesterday , i asked this girl out, im a girl too and im lesbian shes bi or something, i asked her in private and she was like maybe, no then now its maybe. im not openly gay yet and only my frends know. but today everyone found out,because the girl...
A. 10 June 2011: You can only reacted to stuff that actually happens, not things you think MIGHT happen.
Did this other girl know that you are not open yet?
Did you make that clear to her?
If she broke that trust, then you know this is not someone to BE tr... (read in full...)
He apologized, but I can't get over why he asked me this!
Q. Husband told me he wanted to have sex with another women. It really up set me that he told me this. We have had a three-some before and have a pretty good sex life. He has apologized over and over for saying but I can't seem to get over it. My ...
A. 10 June 2011: What do YOU want? Do you want a monagamous marriage or an open one?
Only your husband can tell you if he cheats, or wants to swing or if he wants a divorce.
If you are monagamous-make it clear he only gets to have sex with YOU.
If you a... (read in full...)
Relationships and titles...
Q. When in a relationship, how important is a title (boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, etc) to you? Does it matter if you have a title or not? Do you think a title means committment? Very interested in hearing your thoughts... ...
A. 9 June 2011: A title is only good in a relationship if BOTH people agree to the meaning behind it. Here my interpretations for my dating life: Friend-we hug, we spend time together. No kissing, no sex. Dating-we show lots of affection, but no sex. ... (read in full...)
Nearing the end?
Q. Am I honestly "over the fear" of our marriage being over? Been married 18 years, 3 kids, college sweethearts, basically we've been together our entire adult lives. Been inseparable since our first date. Fastforward to now. My wife is a GREAT mo...
A. 9 June 2011: I am seeing all sorts of contridictions here...
___________________________________________________________
"Fastforward to now. My wife is a GREAT mother,"
VS.
"She essentially hates our 15 year old".
I seriously d... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask your boyfriend to get tested for STDs?
Q. Is it unreasonable to ask your boyfriend to get tested for STD's? I get tested every year at my check up because you never know what someone else is doing and my job has some exposure risks. He has never been tested. We have a sexual relationship, ...
A. 9 June 2011: Nooooooooooooooo!
The answer is "Thats ok, but we will need to use condoms EACH AND EVERY TIME"
If he cares about YOUR well being and wants to have unprotected sex with you, he is going to have to get over himself and just get it done.
Unti... (read in full...)
No sex and the romance seems to have just died out
Q. I've been with my guy for many years now and we've never taken the next step. Right now, he's working fulltime for wages and also running his own business so he can save enough money for us to buy our first home. I'm self employed and struggling ...
A. 9 June 2011: Have you talked to him about you needing more affection?
... (read in full...)
Why does he express his love so frequently?
Q. My new boyfriend is really into me. We don't get much time together as we live apart so when we do, we treasure every minute. He cooks for me, and we make each other happy. One thing , however, is that he repeats very often throughout my stay that ...
A. 9 June 2011: There are plenty of women that would LOVE to be in your place. You are still in the "Honeymoon Phase" of your relationship. After a few more months, this will quiet down to a more likable level for you.
Let him gush and admire you. He is smitt... (read in full...)
I fancy his personality, not his looks. Is that shallow?
Q. i really like this boy at college, and i no he likes me too as hes told me, we flirt all the time and we recently went on a residential trip with college and we was together all the time, everyone noes we like each other and asking why we are not ...
A. 9 June 2011: Sounds like you found a gent to be in the AWESOME FREIND ZONE!! Sometimes we meet people we really click with, but have no chemistry.
Enjoy the FRIENDSHIP!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a nightmare. Is this normal?
Q. I Have been going out with my GF for a few years She is Controlling Possessive Paranoid Moody Childish Doesnt let me see my friends Checks my phone Checks my emails Checks my facebook The reason she does all this is because I have...
A. 9 June 2011: She is paranoid and insecure. I seriously doubt it will get any better. It is more likely it will get WORSE.
Time to call her on her nonsense and let her know how much it bothers you and it has to stop.
If she can not stop-you can stop seeing ... (read in full...)
I want to regain his trust. But do you even think that's possible?
Q. Okay so, I dated this guy named Joe from January to early March, our relationship was perfect until he started accusing me of doing things. He thought I told my best friend a secret about him. He also started saying I was lying about every little ...
A. 9 June 2011: As I was reading, I can sum him up in a few words...
paranoid
controlling
over critical
verbally abusive
WHAT DO YOU MISS???
You already have ENOUGH red flags at you yelling DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!!!
LISTEN! He does not love you, r... (read in full...)
Did my wife have sex with her lover during her affair?
Q. Me and my wife are married for 3 years we have a son together. Recently we've been having alot of arguments and i could't take it so i moved out. during that month my wife met a guy from her new work place and they started talking a lot. my wife and ...
A. 9 June 2011: There is NO way any of us or YOU could know EXACTLY what took place between than man and your wife.
She told you a lot of details already. If she can not cut all ties with him, then she is getting a need met with him that she is not getting ... (read in full...)
How do you know what a guys actually feeling when they say one thing, then do another?
Q. Hi guys! I've been dating this guy for about a year now and I feel like I'm always the one to initate doing things, not that I'm crazy for it, I just feel sex brings us closer and fixes any problems in our relationship and I love him. We'll talk ...
A. 9 June 2011: Men in general are not alway expressive with their feelings and words.
As CaringGuy mentioned, focus on their actions.
What a man CONSISTENTLY does is so much better than any words he could tell me.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
| *edAthena's friends
These are mutual friends, so *edAthena has
added them and they have added *edAthena!
|
